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Reality Bites
Generally, I don't watch that much TV. If there's nothing specifically that I want to watch, then I'll leave the TV off. But I happen to live with someone else, and my lack of interest in what's on at any given time usually means that control of the remote devolves to her by default. This all has the perverse effect of making me watch hours upon hours of shows that I never would have even known existed. No doubt I would have probably had to sit through more of this than I would have liked regardless, but it might have been less if I just insisted on equal share of the TV. A late developing defense mechanism for me has been watching Law & Order. It's a good show, and it's always on. That maneuver helps me retain more self respect than my previous one, which was learning to actually like Friends. A lot of the stupid shit I end up seeing are reality shows. Everyone bitches about reality shows, but if everyone hates them so much, why are there so many on TV? The easy answer is that it's because there are so many stupid people in America, but in my experience, stupid people bitch about shit at least twice as much as smart people, and I expect they do their fair amount of complaining about reality TV. I think the answer is that the same people who complain, turn around and watch hours of it themselves. If that's the case, then the question isn't why is there so much reality television programming, but rather, why do so many people complain about it and make fun of it? I don't have a real problem with it, myself. The Bachelorette isn't any more stupid than Everybody Loves Raymond. And they're just TV shows, if you don't like them, you don't have to watch them, unless you're like me and your life is not your own. But that's a discussion about a whole 'nother set of choices. In any event, you don't like, don't watch, no reason to get all worked up about any of these shows. Except for one, which I'll get to in a moment. I remember when the Real World was the only reality show of any note. Just a bunch of different people living in an apartment in New York, not doing anything in particular. And the cast was full of legitimately different kinds of people. That was back when MTV was still trying to cultivate an urbane, hip, rebellious image. Now that they've given up entirely on that, the cast on the Real World more accurately reflects their retarded meathead target demographic. The blanket label of "reality show" doesn't make much sense either. A lot of these shows don't have much in common with each other. A lot of these shows are just overgrown game shows, like Survivor and Amazing Race. I've even heard Fear Factor called a reality show. Fear Factor is pretty much just Double Dare without the questions. Plus, I like it because it's hosted by Joe Rogan, which makes me think of Negro League great Bullet Joe Rogan. A lot of other shows are competitions too, just on a slightly different scale and for different prizes. American Idol, America's Top Model, the two different boxing shows. I think it's kind of stupid to give someone a job based on a televison contest, but whatever. Then there are all the reality shows on TLC. TLC stands for The Learning Channel, so I guess it's important that you Learn how to decorate a house or plan a wedding in many and various contrived circumstances. The worst of the shows are the dating shows. If giving someone a job based on what you find out about them in a TV show is bad, dating someone is worse. I have to admit that I don't know much about these kinds of shows, since I really can't stand watching them, but from what I have seen, they're pretty bad. I'm sure they're great if you're the center of attention, picking and choosing who gets to stay and who leaves, but I don't think I could deal with being just one out of a dozen or so guys competing for one woman. You actually do spend some amount of time with the person, and presumably develop honest affection for them. It just seems a little fucked up to me. But the most fucked up reality show ever has to be The Swan. Seriously, it's worse than porn. They find these sad, miserable, ugly people who think that they're not worthwhile women and don't deserve love because they're not pretty. Then the show tells them that it agrees, and promises to make them beautiful. Each show features two women, only one of whom can advance to the final pageant. So, you've taken a psychologically frail woman, spent a couple of months raising her hopes, and then finally told her, "Despite all the work we've done, you're still not good enough." On top of that, win or lose, these woman have been made over by the show and told that this is what they're supposed to look like. The women are happy for that moment, but what about later, when there are no professional make-up artists or hair stylists around to fix them up, when they're wearing their normal clothes to their shitty lower-middle class jobs (what, you think these women are successful doctors and lawyers?), back living with their boyfriends and husbands who were most likely contributing to the kind of low self esteem that makes you go and parade yourself on a nationally televised freak show? The Swan is proof that there is a God. Because if there's a Hell, then there has to be a God, and Hell simply must exist because there's no way that everyone involved with producing this horrible, horrible show is not going there the second they die.
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