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August 20, 2005UNSETTLINGRob: I had to do a little research on this whole evacuating Gaza
thing. I haven't been following the story too closely. I look at
Israeli-Palestian stories kind of like I look at Terrell Owens stories.
There's some big problem and people are making a big deal about
it, but then there's always some big problem, so it's hard for me
to get all worked up or interested in any individual one. As I understand
it, and keep in mind that I couldn't go back too far, since I don't
have the time to research centuries of religious conflict, the Jewish
settlements in Gaza are being emptied and demolished because of
an agreement to return the land to the Palestinians. You know, here
we just try to desegregate neighborhoods. And why do they have to
demolish the houses anyway? If I were the Palestinians, I would
tried to negotiate leaving them standing. As a guy who's going three
hundred grand in debt, I understand the value of a free house. Jeff: I wouldn't say there isn't any wailing in America. Have you ever seen a funeral for a black kid? I'd put our fat black women up against any wailers in the world. CONSTITUTIONAL UNCONVENTIONRob: The Iraqis missed the deadline for submitting the first draft of a new constitution this week. Luckily for them, they got an extension, which means they won't have ten points deducted from their grade for every day it's late. At issue is how power will be shared between the different religious and ethnic groups. The groups are attempting to resolve this dispute with vigorous debate and factional violence. I can't understand why they don't just crib our Constitution and be done with it. Alexander Hamilton: Seriously. Just call each Sunni 3/5ths of a person, and be done with it. Rob: All I know is that this makes me pretty glad American Indians didn't have access to car bombs. George Washington: Bring it on! Jeff: The point of these negotiations isn't to make everyone happy. That's impossible. The secret is making every group exactly as unhappy as the others. People generally don't turn to violence unless there's a perceived inequity. From L'Shawn smoking Dauntey for his new Lugz to Iraq's invasion of Kuwait for their oil, violence will either get you what you want or make you feel better. But if everyone's stuck in the same housing projects with the same shit, everyone's miserable, and everything's cool. Karl Marx: Exactly. Jeff: It takes their minds off trying not to get blown up by those car bombs. VIGIL-ANTE JUSTICERob: Cindy Sheehan, the mother of a soldier killed in Iraq who's
decided to make bugging George W Bush about it, has maintained her
vigil outside of the President's Crawford ranch for over a week
now. This thing has picked up quite a bit of steam. On the plus
side for Sheehan, mothers and other protesters have caught vigil-fever
and she's getting credit as a prime mover of the anti-war movement.
On the other hand, her husband is divorcing her and one of Bush's
neighbors is firing shotguns at her and her group. I think everybody's
right in this case. Sure, this is a retarded war being fought for
no good reason, but it does get a little irritating if that's all
you ever hear about. Even if I agree with them, I don't want to
look at people protesting every single day when I wake up. I'm also
a little skeptical of these mothers. It sucks that your kid got
killed, but he was in the army, and if you supported the war initially,
it's weird to all of the sudden oppose it just because one specific
person died. Jeff: I'd let him have it. With last year's new compensation rules he doesn't even get any overtime pay when he puts in a grueling 43 hour week, the least we can do is let him be flexible with his schedule. And leaving those Fridays open gives him time to interview for his next job when he can't be President anymore. SYMPATHY FOR THE TERMINATORRob: Arnold Schwarzenegger (by the way, I find it funny that my
spell check knows how to spell his name) is hosting a fund raiser
at Fenway Park during this weekend's Rolling Stones concert. It's
only $10,000 to get into the fund raiser, but if you want to stick
around for the concert, it will cost you another $100,000. This
is bizarre for so many reasons. I know that the age of rock'n'roll
being about rebellion is long past, mostly because the generation
that invented it is old and rich, but there's something very odd
about band once famous for singing about sex and drugs playing in
front of a group of Republican influence-peddlers. I can't decide
if the fact that the Arnold happens to be a former steroid-abusing,
body building, action movie hero makes this less or more strange.
Zach De La Rocha: THERE'LL BE NO HANDOUTS HERE!!
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