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THE ISLAND

July 13, 2005

Saw a free screening of The Island last night. Either people cared more about the All-Star Game on TV or people just weren’t interested in seeing the latest action movie directed by Michael Bay because the theatre was less than half full. Apparently many people who won free passes from a radio station failed to turn up because the radio station representative was left with a stack of passes and a confused look on her face before the movie started.

How was the movie? Not bad. On the Michael Bay scale, it’s the best movie he has directed in nine years, since The Rock. It’s much better than the last three Michael Bay movies put together. Bay scraped the bottom of the one star barrel with three in a row: Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, and Bad Boys II. Holy shit, do I hate Bad Boys II. I mean, I hate Pearl Harbor but I hate Bad Boys II.

The Island is Bay's first science fiction action picture. Bay actually started the movie off slowly, introducing the concepts and moral questions with clarity and interest before changing gears and slamming the action in around the 45 minute mark. When the action starts, it’s relentless and pretty fucking spectacular. There’s maybe 30 minutes of car chases and it’s balls-to-the-wall, really well done. I’ll say this for him: No one flips cars like Michael Bay. He did the car flipping chase scenes in Bad Boys II and I hated it then, but in The Island, it was pretty awesome. And he had some cool fucking cars to flip too. The Island is set 50 years from now and the future car designs were all really sweet. He had flying motorcycles, sleek, silver futuristic Cadillacs, Mack trucks that look like bullet trains, bullet trains that ran on anti-gravity tracks, it was all really cool looking. I'm not even much of a car enthusiast but that shit turned me on. Top to bottom from the visual effects, sets, vehicles, and costume designs, The Island is a great looking movie.

The other big plus The Island had going for it is the acting. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johannsen are the leads, playing two clones who uncover the vast conspiracy surrounding their existence. They’re both really good in their roles, handling the action while playing the bewilderment and determination of their characters equally well. Already this summer, McGregor was the best (non-digital) actor in Revenge of the Sith and was the reason Anakin Skywalker’s fall to the dark side had the emotional impact it had. Here he’s even better in a dual role as Lincoln Six-Echo and his human counterpart Tom Lincoln. Johannsen was also terrific; Lost in Translation was my favorite movie of 2003 but beyond that, I never quite understood her appeal and the hype surrounding her. I thought she was dull as a doorstop in In Good Company, but here as Jordan Two-Delta, she’s innocent, sexy, vulnerable and gung ho all at once. Plus she fills out a white skin tight jumpsuit groin-grabbingly well. The supporting cast, Steve Buschemi, Sean Bean, and Djimon Hounsou, were also pretty terrific. The strength of the acting in The Island was a pleasant surprise.

Unfortunately, the movie doesn’t all come together. The Island could have ended after about an hour and forty five minutes, but the movie kept going another 20 minutes to a finish that doesn’t work even under mild scrutiny. Because of its science fiction premise, the entire movie has huge holes and logical flaws it’s not interested in addressing and the narrative eventually collapses under its own weight. Bryan Singer might not enjoy how The Island is quite a thorough ripoff of Logan's Run.

Still, I like The Island and watching it, I got the distinct impression that Michael Bay has grown up somewhat. He’s always been the 16 year old boy of A-list Hollywood action directors; his movies are all slam-bang, big guns, fast cars, jump cut every two seconds, assaults on the senses. The Island was a little more subdued, a little more, dare I say it, cerebral. (I said a little more, and this is again, on the Michael Bay scale.) I’d say the 16 year old boy is gone. Michael Bay is directing like a 19 year old big boy now. He’s still into hot sex, fast cars, big guns, and loud explosions, but he’s asking more questions, doing more thinking. It's a step in the right direction. He keeps this up and pretty soon, Michael Bay will be all grows up.

In a related note, a story's been making the rounds that Scarlett Johannsen wanted to do her love scene topless but Michael Bay made her wear a black bra to maintain the PG-13 rating. What the fuck? Bay, you asshole! Fuck the PG-13. Put out the R-rated version with Scarlett topless on DVD so all can be forgiven.

And Natalie Portman, you could learn a lot from Scarlett Johannsen. All is not forgiven.

- John Orquiola