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MUNICH
January 3, 2006
Senor Spielbergo’s prayer for peace is his most complex, layered and moving work since Schindler’s List, with a riveting performance from Eric Bana at its center. However, for all of Spielbergo’s formidable talent, Munich contains what has to be the single worst sex scene ever committed to celluloid. If I ever have to think unsexy thoughts, I’ll simply remember Eric Bana’s face as he relives the Munich massacre while riding his hot wife missionary. Those who know me know that the most important thing for me in any movie is for one of the characters to say the title of the movie. (Which, ironically, I didn’t do in my own script.) Now, the characters said “Munich” a lot in the Munich but if the film had ended with Bana’s wife, saying “Alver, the next time you fuck me, don’t think of …Munich,” that would have been an automatic four stars from me. Another thing that caught me off guard was that somehow Ciran Hinds managed to avoid showing off his cock as Caesar on Rome like James Purefoy did and yet there his cock was in Munich, plain as the nose on his face. But then, Spielbergo made up for it with some unexpected female full frontal. Yes, this is the shit I’m dwelling on when discussing a serious meditation on the benefits of fighting terror with terror while claiming the moral high ground.
- John Orquiola
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