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THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
 January 3, 2006 The stuff that stood out for me is as follows: I thought the two girls sleeping on the lion’s corpse was funny. Even better was the looks on the girls’ faces when they rode bareback on the lion. It’s every girl’s dream to ride bareback on a lion. Stimulating. They didn’t quite yet understand why they enjoyed it so. I liked how before the big battle the oldest son asked the centaur next to him, “Are you with me?” “To the death,” said the centaur. Me: “Great, what’s your name again? You people aren’t so good with the introductions. I know the talking lion’s name is Aslan. That’s about it.” Also, the youngest girl grew up into a hot woman at the end. Why couldn’t we have spent more time with her after she got hot? The answer: The Chronicles of Narnia isn’t for me, unlike those delightful Harry Potter movies with their teen drama and rebellious streak. I thought Narnia was fine. It was okay. I wasn’t very interested. The acting from the four children was bad all around. And by the end, good Lord, I would have paid Thomas the Fawn to please put a shirt on. I’d had more than enough of his hairy nipples.
- John Orquiola
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