|
External
|
Battlestar Galactica 2x4 – “Resistance”YOU ARE WHAT YOU FRAKJohn: After surviving a nightmare on Kobol, Chief Tyrol got quite a shitty homecoming: an interrogation, accusation of aiding and abetting Cylon Boomer, of being a Cylon himself, an asswhipping from Colonel Tigh, and imprisonment. Poor Cylon Boomer didn’t get the warm reception she was hoping for when her ex-boyfriend ended up sharing her cell. Poor Tyrol’s incarceration freaked Cally out and she went to Baltar for help. When Baltar wasn’t eager to get on Tigh’s bad side, Cally threatened to blackmail him about how he killed Crashdown on Kobol, even though it was to save Cally’s life. While Baltar and Cally are arguing about what they can do about saving Tyrol’s life, Number Six keeps harping about Cally calling Cylons “toasters.”
Number Six: “Toaster” is a racial epithet. I find it offensive.
John: Hey, if Cylons made toast, they’d actually be helpful. When reporting to Tigh, Baltar had to lie about when he lied to Boomer about being a Cylon. Tigh never liked or trusted Baltar, which is one thing nice you can say about Tigh – he’s a good judge of character. Tigh ordered Baltar to fix his Cylon detector so they can determine if Tyrol is a Cylon. Baltar and Tigh have another thing in common, devious, self-serving blondes who hang off their shoulders and push their buttons. Six egged Baltar on about his being disrespected by colonels and mechanics alike and Baltar put his own plans into motion.
Rob: I feel pretty bad for the Chief. Most people are embarassed by their ex-girlfriends because they're ugly or crazy. The Chief's ex is an enemy of humanity and the attempted assassin of the leader of the fleet. Gonna be tough to live that one down.
Gaius Baltar: Actually, dating a Cylon isn't that bad.
Helo: Seriously, don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
Rob: Well, most humans are less tolerant of man-robot relationships than you two. Though, interestingly, the Cylons themselves seem pretty cool with it. Go figure. SEND IN THE MARINESJohn: Tigh was the only person who was surprised when the rest of the fleet didn’t love his declaring martial law. Several ships protested by refusing to resupply Galactica. Back in his bunk, Tigh had a temporary moment of sanity when he contemplated meeting with the fleet captains and explaining his decisions. Ellen Tigh belittled him for it, so to shut her up, Tigh ordered the marines to board the ships and take the supplies by force. The marines were received by protest groups and the situation quickly escalated to violence with civilians getting shot. Again, Tigh is the only one surprised at this turn of events.
Colonel Tigh: Why do I listen to you?!
John: Seriously, Ellen Tigh is a walking, talking cancer. She might be the worst person on the show and that's saying something. As for the wisdom of martial law, this goes back to something Adama told Roslin last season when she asked him to provide troops to police the fleet.
Commander Adama: The police protects the people while the military fights the enemies of the state. When the military becomes the police, the enemy of the state becomes the people.
John: Tigh missed that lesson but he’s too busy getting drunk and frakking his wife to pay heed anyway.
Rob: Tigh's "love scene" with his wife was pretty creepy. Ellen Tigh is certainly an attractive woman, but somehow she manages to come off as really creepy and gross when she's just lounging about her cabin, watching her husband get drunk. That must be some skanky sex they're having. You know they're doing it doggy-style, I just wonder if she lets him put it in her ass.
Starbuck: Okay, I'm going to have to stop you right there. I liked it better when you were talking about human-toaster sex. And that's saying something.
Rob: Sorry. Tigh really did look like he was going to get it right, or at least less wrong, when he was talking about talking this crisis out. But he's really got the wrong person whispering in his ear. Or screeching at him like a harpy. It's too bad, there are a lot of people he'd be better off listening to. Duala, Gaeta, the crochety doctor, the jumpy prison guard, Number Six... THE HOME TEAMJohn: Back on Cylon-occupied Caprica, Starbuck and Helo found themselves in a Caprican standoff with members of the Caprica Buccaneers, a professional pyramid team who were training in the mountains when the Cylons nuked the planet. It was only a week we didn't see her but damn, I missed Starbuck. When Starbuck is around, things don’t seem quite so bad. She’s the closest thing to a superhero on this show; you know you’re in good hands when Starbuck is on the job. Also, more and more, I'm starting to think she’s pretty hot.
Helo: You noticed it too, huh? She’s growing her hair out. It looks nice.
Starbuck: Will you two knock it off?! Frak me.
John: Exactly. Anyway, the Caprica Buccaneers have a ragtag resistance unit set up with about 50 other survivalists they encountered since the occupation. They’re a curious outfit; they’ve been able to survive Cylon attacks but haven’t noticed the giant golden arrow Starbuck is carrying around. More Starbuck fun facts: she plays pyramid and was going to turn pro after college until hurt her knee. She and Anders, the captain of the C-Bucks, had some sort of sexual thing going on as they played a game of pyramid, which was pretty weird, requiring a lot of catlike crouching and shoving balls though holes. I haven’t been that confused about how a game is played since I read the rules of Quiddich.
Rob: It's too bad Sharon the Cylon took off. It would have been amusing watching Helo try to convince the Buccaneers that's she's cool.
Helo: Starbuck, come on, back me up!
Starbuck: Hey, I'll shoot her in the face myself.
Rob: Do Starbuck and Helo have a plan for getting of Cylon-occupied Caprica? It's cool that they have other people to hang with for now, but the C-Bucks aren't getting the Arrow of Apollo back to the fleet. Speaking of the C-Bucks, it's interesting to see that the Alex Rodriguez method of nickname formation is still being used thousands of years in the future. And these people probably don't even know how much they owe A-Rod, I-Rod, T-Mac, K-Mart, and C-Webb. THE GREAT ESCAPEJohn: News of the marines shooting civilians was the last straw for President Roslin, who resolved to break out of the brig. Apollo had already been working on a plan, having regular chats with Dualla in the hall about what Tigh has been up to and gathering supporters who are against Tigh’s policies. With the help of Dualla, the jittery, religious guard, the doctor, and some of Apollo’s pilots, Roslin succeeded in her prison break, taking her black priest with her. A temporary setback was when a private stopped them in the hall, but Roslin showed how formidable she is by using her 12 APs of Charisma to get the guard to stand down. They safely made it to the raptor and escaped. Billy however, opted to stay behind.
Billy: Madame President, what you’re doing could lead to a civil war. I won’t be a part of that. Also, odds are you’re planning on hiding out on the prison ship and those inmates would have my sweet, white ass for breakfast. Plus my girlfriend is here on the Galactica. So, you know, good luck.
John: When Tigh was alerted of Roslin and Apollo’s escape,
he had a moment where he could have shot down their raptor but he
decided not to because he couldn't bring himself to kill Adama's
son.
John: Tigh did correctly figure that the escapees had help, which would include Dualla not logging calls she made to the other ships. Lieutenant Gaeta was onto her but ended up conspiring with her to keep this from Tigh. Apollo, Roslin, and the black priest land on the Cloud Nine transport and meet their new ally, former terrorist and former Apollo Tom Zarek, who is in charge of hiding them in the fleet.
Rob: Tigh knew they had help, but he also had to know there was no chance of ever finding out who it was. He'd have to be particularly dense not to realize he's lost his crew. I mean, Gaeta flat out told Duala that he knew about the communications and told her that that wasn't the way to do things, and yet still said absolutely nothing to Tigh.
Tigh: Have there been any unlogged communications?
Gaeta: *shrug* I dunno.
Rob: How many people on Galactica weren't in on this plan? Even those who weren't directly involved knew about it. With Tigh in charge, it doesn't really matter because everyone would rather see Roslin in charge anyway. But there are going to be a lot of sheepish crew members studying the floor when Adama gets back. WIDE AWAKEJohn: I literally jumped for joy when Adama walked through Tigh’s doorway demanding to know what’s been going on. That bubble was burst a minute later when Adama not only didn’t automatically rip Tigh to shreds for the shit he’s done but was supportive of Tigh. That sucked. Adama is Tigh’s best friend and sympathizes with the pressure Tigh was under when he was forced to assume command of the fleet. As they talked I had the sinking realization that Adama isn’t going to set things right as much as back Tigh up. Sadly, it stands to reason that since it was Adama who imprisoned Roslin, he might have been the one to declare martial law had Cylon Boomer not shot him. This is the big glaring difference between Battlestar Galactica and shows like Star Trek: there is no returning to the status quo, the wrong won’t magically be set right. We waited a month for Adama to wake up and fix things, but it doesn’t look that that’s the plan. It’s like being punched in the gut.
Rob: The other difference between Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek is that no one wears pajamas on the bridge. But yeah, you're right, Tigh was basically staying the course that Adama had set. He horribly mismanaged it every step of the way, but nonetheless, he went in the same direction Adama would've had he been able to. Still, it would've been nice to see Adama tear Tigh a new one if only for being consistently drunk on the job. Tigh is going to have to be on much better behavior now that the old man's back. It would also probably be wise for the rest of the crew to not roll their eyes and make tippling motions behind Tigh's back while Adama's around. OSWALD!John: Speaking of taking one in the gut, Cally pulled a Jack Ruby on Cylon Boomer. Earlier, Baltar paid a visit Cylon Boomer and Tyrol under the guise of testing Tyrol with his Cylon detector. Instead, he poisoned Tyrol and forced Cylon Boomer into telling him how many Cylons are hiding in the fleet. And now we know there are eight. Baltar didn’t report this to anyone, he’s keeping this information for himself. Whatever Baltar is up to involved transferring Cylon Boomer off Galactica where he was planning on using her has a lab rat. Instead, as they marched her out of the brig in chains, Cally did to Cylon Boomer what Cylon Boomer did to Adama and she died in Tyrol's arms. This won't do. We need a new copy of Boomer, stat!
Rob: What will probably happen is that Sharon the Cylon will end up on Galactica, and she'll gut shoot Cally for shooting Boomer. And then the Chief will gut shoot Sharon the Cylon, which will lead to Helo gut shooting Chief Tyrol. When will the cycle of violence end?
Number Six: When all of humanity is exterminated from the face of the universe.
Rob: What about the half-human, half-Cylon star child? Where does that fit in?
Number Six: To be perfectly honest, I don't know. The plan is to kill all humans. We're just winging it with the baby thing. LIGHTEN UP!John: I love this show. But damn it, I could kill for some sort of lighthearted episode or even some good news. Every week, things get worse and worse, it’s fucking depressing. In season one, there were moments of levity sprinkled in here and there. The show right now is relentlessly grim and spiraling down even further. Even worse, there doesn’t seem to be any way to get things back to normal. I miss the happier days of the fleet running for their lives, Apollo as the CAG, Starbuck winning card games, Roslin and Adama ballroom dancing with each other, and Baltar being molested by Six during high level meetings.
Baltar: Yes, don’t think I haven’t noticed she hasn’t frakked me since season one.
John: I just hope that the show eases up a little on the doom and gloom. And soon. Once in a while, I’d like to finish an episode without feeling like killing myself.
Rob: I think a musical episode is in order, myself. How many seasons
are they planning on running this show? At some point they're going
to have to find Earth, or at least some place to call home for a
while. If things keep going like this, then there's no way the fleet
can continue to survive. I don't mind the show being grim as long
as there's a happy ending to look forward to. There has to be some
payoff for all this suffering. And I don't want any Matrix-y shit
where humans and machines learn to live together and respect each
other. Fuck that, I want the toasters exterminated.
|
 |
