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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood PrincePREVIOUSLY ON HARRY POTTER..."Yer a wizard, Harry." "I'm a what?" "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened!" "Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban prison!" "This year, Hogwarts plays host to the Triwizard Tournament!" "By order of the Ministry of Magic, the new Headmaster of Hogwarts is Dolores Jane Umbridge!" "The end of the prophecy...neither can live...while the other survives..." HALF AND HALF
Rob: I just want to say that I did not like Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince at all. It was a huge disappointment coming off the last two.
John: I just want to say I thought it was an awesome read. I enjoyed it quite a bit. I liked how focused and streamlined it was compared to Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix, which were admittedly and obviously better. But there were no stupid subplots involving liberating house elves and shit like that here. Half-Blood Prince rolled along with a laser like focus on Harry, although he didn’t do much. It is kind of lame that it’s really just a set up for the last book of the series, but it answered a lot of questions about Voldemort and with Dumbledore’s death, it created the most significant upheaval to the Harry Potter universe since the Death Eaters were introduced in Goblet of Fire.
Rob: It had no plot whatsoever. Just Harry dicking around at Hogwarts for a year, trying to figure out what Snape and Malfoy where up to, which he never actually did. Unless you count witnessing it firsthand and being powerless to do anything about it. If you do, then Harry’s Sherlock Holmes.
John: Yeah, Harry’s kind of a dope. He’s always been a dope and probably always will be.
Severus Snape: He’s arrogant, foolish, and filled with a misguided sense of his own self-importance.
John: I liked the less is more approach of The Half-Blood Prince, though. Something the series seems to have forgotten in the last few books is that Harry’s supposed to be at school. The Triwizard Tournament and Dolores Umbridge’s regime created internal crises within Hogwarts that were more interesting and exciting, but Hogwarts is supposed to be high school and I liked that things were toned down from forces threatening the school from within until the Death Eaters’ attack at the end. A resumption of the business of the kids’ magical education was front and center. For once, all the kids had to worry about was their school work and getting laid, just like Muggle teenagers.
Rob: It works a little bit better if you look at it as a part of the series as a whole, because she spends a lot of time setting up the seventh book, but even then, I didn’t like where she took a lot of the characters. Furthermore, a lot of the set-up probably should’ve been done a book or two ago. Now Harry’s only got one year to find all the Horcruxes. Personally, I doubt he can do it.
John: Oh he’ll do it. He’ll do it the way he’s accomplished everything else he’s accomplished in the last six books: he’ll stumble along while allies and enemies alike hand him everything he needs on a silver platter. Even Harry deep down understands he’s basically lucky. That’s one thing I’ve always appreciated about Harry Potter, he knows he’s not quite the hot shit he’s made out to be.
Gilderoy Lockhart: Foolish humility! Think of all the books and autographs he could have sold! All the galleons he could have made! He could sell Harry Potter scar tattoos and his female classmates could have them tattooed right above their bums!
John: That’s not a bad idea. He could make a fortune off the Muggle girls too.
LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED
Rob: The book opens with Harry once again spending the summer at the Dursleys’, as miserable as ever.
Dumbledore: Do you think by now everyone gets that the Dursleys don’t like Harry?
Rob: Yeah, I think that’s pretty well established.
Dumbledore: Me too. All right, Harry, we’re getting out of here.
Rob: Good move. This novel is only 650 pages after all, down from Rowling’s usual Tolstoy-esque output. There’s no time for fucking around.
John: But there was time for linking this book to the earlier books. One thing I enjoyed about Half-Blood Prince was that Rowling brought a number of things full-circle, harkening little bits back to the beginning of the series. Dumbledore’s long-awaited visit to the Dursleys, for example, the first time he has done so since he dropped the infant Harry at their doorstep, and using the same tricks in his arrival. Little continuity shit like that I liked.
Rob: So, what do we have going on this year? Dumbledore will be giving Harry private lessons this year. There’s going to be a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Slughorn, who Dumbledore wants to keep close. Ron, Hermione, and Harry follow Draco Malfoy down Diagon Alley and find out that he’s up to something, probably working at Voldemort’s behest. Snape’s allegiances are cloudy once again. Oh, and Ginny Weasley is dating Dean Thomas. There’s actually quite a lot going on, and Rowling gets us to Hogwarts and rolling in record time. I was pretty excited by the time classes started. It wasn’t until later that the book really started to let me down.
John: I appreciated the expedient way we got back to Hogwarts. All the best action happens at Hogwarts, and I always get annoyed when there are too many sidetracks at the start of the book. I like to get back to Hogwarts as quickly as possible. The Dursleys’ house is always a chore to deal with, I hate the Burrow and don’t care much for Gimmauld Place.
Kreacher: We don’t want filthy Muggles at Grimmauld Place!
John: Fine by me. As a new character who could have been an enemy but turned out not to be, Slughorn was a bit of a letdown. Admittedly, Mad-Eye Moody and Dolores Umbridge are hard acts to follow. Umbridge was a really great villain. Since we hardly ever see Voldemort and only hear about him, I would say Umbridge has been the best villain in the series so far. As an ally, Lupin was more interesting than Slughorn. Slughorn was really just an exposition device posing as a character. I don’t know how many more concepts for characters Rowling has but Slughorn makes me think her creative Pensieve is empty. Good thing she wrote herself out of the dilemma of coming up with yet another Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher in book 7. It’ll probably be Tonks or Mundungus or some jackass third tier character like that.
Rob: Or it could be Slughorn, since he didn't actually end up teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. I think that Dumbledore switched Snape and Slughorn because he knew that they can't keep a Dark Arts teacher for more than a year and Snape was going to be leaving anyway. But that's just speculation on my part.
Diamond Donovan Douglas: Quit your speculatin'! NO WIZARD LEFT BEHIND
Rob: Something clicked in my head while I was reading this book. Early in the novel, it happens to be mentioned the Mr. Weasley’s secret ambition is to find out how airplanes stay up. When I read that, I thought, hell, just go to a Muggle library and get a book on how things work. You don’t have to be an aeronautics engineer to understand the basic principles.
Arthur Weasley: A Muggle library? But isn’t that where Muggle women take off their clothing and dance for money?
John: I think you’re thinking of something else, Mr. Weasley, but if you want to check such a place out, I know of a few good ones, I’d be happy to accompany you.
Arthur Weasley: Splendid!
Molly Weasley: Arthur!
Rob: I finally realized something when the kids got to Hogwarts and started picking out their classes. They take Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures, Astrology, etc. But where’s English class? Physics? Algebra? Once they get to Hogwarts, they don’t take any of that. While these young wizards may be able to do wondrous things with magic, but any standard of the modern world, they’re pretty fucking ignorant. If you think about it, Hogwarts is basically a vocational school. These kids are about as dumb as the guys who take shop.
John: This is why the Mudbloods like Hermione –
Hagrid: Don’t call ‘er ‘at. Filthy word, ‘at is.
John: Fine. This is why hot little pieces of ass like Hermione who have Muggle parents have the decisive advantage over ordinary Wizards. She has the best of both worlds. The Wizard and Muggle communities segregate themselves but it seems like the Wizarding world deep down understands that the Muggles control the real world and they kind of exist in the cracks of it. Though there are Wizarding towns like Hogsmeade, there are no Wizard cities and they have to find spaces to exist within Muggle cities like London. But if their goal in life is to stay in their segregated Wizard world, they don’t need the shit we need to know like math and science. So what if they don’t know how an airplane stays up? Muggles don’t understand how magic works. It balances out.
Rob: That actually makes me wonder about Voldemort's ultimate ambitions. He seems to hate Muggles and the Death Eaters certainly have no problem killing them, but do they ever actually plan on taking over the Muggle world, or are they just going to conquer the world of magic and occasionally spill over into our world. Because, actually, while Voldemort's a badass with magic, how would he really stack up in our world?
Cornelius Fudge: He just killed Amelia Bones with the Avada Kedava curse!
Prime Minister: Yes, that is a shame. Now, if you don't mind, I have to go speak at a memorial for the victims of the terrorist subway bombings. But best of luck with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. FINALLY RIDING THE BROOMSTICKS
Rob: The biggest difference between this book and the previous ones is the introduction of teenage sexuality. Yeah, Harry had his little thing with Cho Chang, but that was fairly chaste. None of that anymore.
John: Harry’s thing in book five with Cho Chang could have turned out better for him. I liked Cho Chang. I was rooting for the Cho Chang thing to work out, but Rowling seems to think every aspect of Harry’s life should involve a fucking Weasley. Or fucking a Weasley. I actually really liked the schmaltzy movie moment of Harry running into the Griffyndor common room after they won the Cup and kissing Ginny. I’m a sucker for stuff like that. Rowling worked overtime to turn Ginny Weasley into a hot little fireplug. It’s probably too late now, but I always thought there should have been a love triangle over Hermione between Harry and Ron. It could have been just like the Brandon-Kelly-Dylan tryst on 90210.
Hermione: I choose me.
John: All right, maybe it’s better Rowling didn’t go down that route. What I’m really dreading is the inevitable hooking up of Ron and Hermione that Rowling has been teasing for years. That pairing doesn’t make a lick of sense. Not only is Ron not good enough for Hermione, what would she see in him that would make her fancy him romantically? I’ll probably throw up when they finally kiss. I’d even prefer it if Hermione announced that she’s a lesbian.
Rob: Rowling doesn’t come out and say so explicitly, but I’m pretty sure Ron fucked Lavender Brown. You think the opportunity was never there, especially by the end, when Lavender was desperate to keep dating Gryffindor’s star Keeper? Oh yeah, he hit that. Which raises an interesting question, are there “protection” spells available to these kids? That would be pretty sweet if they didn’t have to use a condom. Harry managed to dodge the love potions of his admirers long enough for Ginny to break up with Dean. He was a little worried about hooking up with Ginny, being Ron’s sister and all, but in the end, sweet little jailbait poonany won the day, which it usually does.
John: Ginny’s not really jailbait. She’s 15 and Harry’s 16 so it’s not that big of a deal. If Dumbledore tapped Ginny, then he’d probably go to Azkaban. I hear the Dementors really frown on statutory rape. If you want to look at the Weasleys as an example, it doesn’t seem like Arthur and Molly use any protection. Actually, you gotta give it up to Arthur Weasley, no matter how poor they are and how many mouths it forces them to feed, he won't stop fucking his wife.
WORSE THAN SOCCER
Rob: I fucking hate Quidditch. First of all, the game is stupid. It doesn’t really matter what the rest of the team does, as long as their Seeker finds the Snitch. What’s the point of the rest of them, to just kill time until then? It’s dumb. And inevitable fifty page Quidditch match in each novel makes me want to throw the book out of the window. These Quidditch matches were the worst yet. It’s pretty clear that Rowling doesn’t care about them anymore, but just throws it in there because it’s come to be expected. Honestly, I don’t know if anyone would care or even notice if she just forgot Quidditch ever existed.
John: I don’t really care about Quidditch either.
Hermione: I’m in agreement.
John: One of the things I liked about Goblet of Fire was that the Quidditch was front-loaded in the beginning, and then it was canceled at Hogwarts to make way for the Triwizard Tournament. On the subject of Qudditch though, Harry’s future, if he indeed has one and he isn’t murdered looking for the Horcruxes in book 7, could be playing Quidditch. Harry says he wants to be an Auror, but while he can do some spells and is the most experienced student his age at dealing with people trying to kill him, he’s not really that good of a Wizard. Also, he doesn’t seem to like the Ministry of Magic very much, so why would he want to work for them as an Auror? Harry’s one real talent seems to be playing Quidditch. He should probably try to turn pro, get some endorsement deals and become the David Beckham of Quiddich, if he manages to survive a grisly death at the hands of the Dark Lord, that is.
Rob: That would be kind of like Bruce Wayne deciding after training his body to physical perfection that he was going to try out for the NFL. Or Peter Parker becoming a professional wrestler.
Peter Parker: With great power comes great responsibility, Harry.
Rob: But you're right, Harry is kind of a crappy wizard, and I don't see how in the hell he becomes an Auror. He really does suck at potions, no matter what grade he "earns" in Slughorn's Potions class.
SPECIAL ATTENTION, BUT NOT IN THE CREEPY, CATHOLIC WAY
Rob: If there’s one main storyline in the book, it’s the story of Dumbledore revealing to Harry the secret origins of Lord Voldemort. It’s nice to see Dumbledore finally being up front with Harry, even if he teases out his information over the course of the year.
Dumbledore: And that’s enough for today, Harry.
Harry Potter: Why?
Dumbledore: Because this is the best storyline in the book, and we have to make it last. No one wants to watch you chase around Draco in your Invisibility Cloak for 400 pages.
John: You know, the Invisibility Cloak is a device that has used up its logical usefulness. Everybody already knows that Harry Potter has an Invisibility Cloak, why aren’t all the evil characters constantly on guard for a kid with glasses hanging out in the corner sight unseen when they’re concocting their little plans? Slytherins should be continually on guard for a pair of ankles to be visible or something every time they hear a bump nearby. The Marauder’s Map is also starting to wear out its welcome. I suggest combining them, giving Harry an Invisible Map. He can’t see it, he can’t use it, he’s fucked.
Rob: I also didn’t really get why it was so important for Harry to get Slughorn’s true memory of when he told Voldemort about the Horcruxes. Dumbledore knew the memory he first got from Slughorn was doctored, and it was pretty reasonable to assume that it was changed because Slughorn did, in fact, tell Voldemort about Horcruxes. Furthermore, Dumbledore had already destroyed a Horcrux, so he knew that Voldemort had created them. I guess he just needed Harry to run around on some type of errand.
John: That’s what I figure too. Harry might be the Chosen One prophesized to kill Lord Voldemort and bring peace to the Wizarding World…
Neville Longbottom: It could also be me the prophecy is about!
John: Yeah, listen, no one’s buying that book, kid, sorry. Anyway, Harry might be the most important 17 year old boy in the world, but he’s also an undisciplined, insolent little brat who needs to be punished now and then.
Severus Snape: Punished and perhaps boiled alive.
John: That might be going too far. But the usual detentions, points off from Gryffindor, or Quidditch bans never really work on Potter. Making him jump through hoops on redundant secret missions, that’s a lot more amusing to watch.
Dumbledore: I couldn’t agree more.
John: One of the best thing about Dumbledore taking an active interest in Harry was when they went looking for the Horcrux in the black lake inside the mountain with the Inferi floating all around the lake. That was one of the most compelling sequences in any of the books. It will be fantastic to watch when the movie gets made. Too bad it was all for a fake Horcrux.
Senator Vreenak: It's a faaaaaake!!!
Captain Sisko: That might be the most obscure reference in this entire recap.
RIDDLE ME THIS
Rob: Voldemort’s back story was interesting. We knew he was a dick, but know we know that he comes from a family of dicks, and was himself a dick almost from birth. We also find out that he’s a packrat of sorts, like trophies, and feels some sort of a connection to Hogwarts. That might explain why Hogwarts is always at the center of every threat to the magical world. I mean, how many books have you read about the real world that center on the bad guy trying to destroy a prep school? I don’t usually consider Voldemort the savviest of villains, but he did make one good move early, changing his name. “Tom Riddle” just doesn’t strike fear into anyone’s heart.
The Riddler: What? How dare you! I’ll have you know The Batman himself quakes in fear at the mere mention of my name!
John: Oh come on! No, he doesn’t.
Rob: How do you go about changing your name like that though? Do you take out an ad in the Daily Prophet? Do you just tell all your friends to call you Lord Voldemort and hope the word of mouth spreads?
John: You know what I didn’t really like? In Chamber of Secrets when it was revealed that “Tom Marvolo Riddle” was really an anagram for “I am Lord Voldemort.” It’s kind of clever, but I always thought it was a really goofy anagram.
Professor Taylor: Oh good, you can join us in our anagram games. Alec Guinness.
Alison Taylor: Genuine class. Your turn, Lisa.
Professor Taylor: Jeremy Irons.
Lisa Simpson: Jeremy’s… iron.
Professor Taylor: That’s… very good for a first try. Here, I have a ball. Perhaps you’d like to bounce it.
John: Harsh. I really liked discovering the Secret Origin of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-Tom Riddle. The story of Riddle’s family and how he went back and murdered his father was really interesting, but unfortunately, no matter how interesting, it still involved Harry and Dumbledore standing around watching flashbacks as opposed to doing stuff. It ultimately isn’t as exciting as Harry competing in the Triwizard Tournament or secretly leading the D.A. against Umbridge. The most interesting part to me was Dumbledore refusing to allow Voldemort to teach at Hogwarts. Dumbledore wanted to keep the artifacts at Hogwarts safe from Voldemort, but Dumbledore went about it the wrong way. He could have avoided making a lifelong enemy and just told Voldemort flat out how much Hogwarts teachers get paid. No way an ambitious man like Voldemort would have accepted a low-paying job with lousy hours where he has to be indulgent of a bunch of obnoxious teenagers.
MAYBE WE SHOULD RECONSIDER THAT EVIL HOUSE
Rob: While Harry’s suppose to be pressing Professor Slughorn for information, he was doing his best to track Draco Malfoy and convince everyone that Professor Snape is working with the Death Eaters again. To me, this is the worst story of the book. In the first chapter, Snape says he’s a loyal Death Eater, he’s playing Dumbledore for a fool, and he’s going to help Draco with his task. The reader spends the rest of the book wondering what the twist is going to be, only to find out in the end that Snape is a loyal Death Eater, he’s playing Dumbledore for a fool, and he helped Draco with his plot to take out Dumbledore. All this without any explanation of his motives. All we’ve heard for five and nine/tenths of a book is that Snape is a good guy, a better man than he seems. Then we find out, nope, Snape is what he seems. Lame.
John: Snape’s big heel turn was neat as an old-school betrayal. It was a heel turn worthy of Ric Flair. It was also disappointing when one considers that Snape is probably the most complex, most interesting character in the whole series. I’m not convinced that Snape still isn’t a double agent.
Harry Potter: He killed Dumbledore!
John: Yeah, he did, and that’s what you saw. That’s what we all saw since we saw that scene from Harry’s perspective underneath the Invisible Cloak. I went back and reread that chapter and I suspect there’s more going on than the obvious. Dumbledore probably knew Snape made that promise to protect Draco. Draco, scumbag though he is, was at that point still a student at Hogwarts and under Dumbledore’s protection. If you look at that situation in the tower with Dumbledore, Draco, two Death Eaters and Snape in a Mexican stand off, someone was going to die. It was either going to be Dumbledore or Draco, who would have been killed by the Death Eaters if he didn’t kill Dumbledore. And Draco’s a gutless punk so he wasn’t going to be able to do it and the Death Eaters would have killed him, which means Snape would have failed the promise he made to Draco’s mother to protect Draco. Snape did the only thing he could that would ensure Draco lived and preserving his status as a double agent.
Rob: The Draco storyline was still pretty terrible. Harry followed him around all book long, and never got closer to finding out his secret than when he discovered Draco was using the Room of Requirement. Oh, and he was confiding in Moaning Myrtle too, but nothing was ever really done with that. Harry finally founds out that Draco was out to kill Dumbledore, but he only figures that out because he was right there watching it happen. Not a very satisfying ending for that mystery. And then Rowling went and made Draco a total pussy. In the end, he couldn’t kill Snape.
Death Eater #1: I’ll kill him myself!
Death Eater #2: No, the Dark Lord says Draco’s to do it.
Severus Snape: I’ll tell you what, I’m just going to take care of that.
John: The big line in this scene, probably the most important line in the book was Dumbledore’s plea to Snape.
Dumbledore: Severus, please.
John: It looks like the old man is begging for his life like a little bitch. But what’s behind that line could be a lot more complicated. Dumbledore probably wanted to die, he probably wanted Snape to do him in. It’s the only way for him and Malfoy to get out of there without the Death Eaters turning on them. And the wizened old man probably was prepared for this situation and had a plan all in place. Dumbledore always has a lot more going on than meets the eye. I don’t think Snape really did turn heel.
Severus Snape: Hmm, perhaps… BY THE BOOK
Rob: And then there’s the whole Half-Blood Prince thing. Harry and Hermione spend a little bit of time trying to figure out who the Half-Blood Prince was.
Snape: It was me. Gotta go.
Vince McMahon: It was Snape, Potter! It was Snape all along!
Rob: Harry’s 0 for 3 on the mysteries this year. I assumed it was Voldemort, and I thought Harry was a dope for not even considering that. Even though it turned out to be Snape, considering how everything Harry ever does at Hogwarts is connected to Voldemort, it wouldn’t have been a bad avenue for Harry and Hermione to investigate. Not that any of it mattered, since it wasn’t important who the Half-Blood Prince was anyway. So why the hell was this book called Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in the first place?
John: When Hermione decided to look into who the Prince could be, she pretty much figured out it wasn’t Voldemort. The way Rowling revealed who the Half-Blood Prince is was anticlimactic, but the Prince being Snape was cool if you think about it. It’s a nice twist Harry was unknowingly cribbing off Snape for months. He hates Snape’s guts but was using Snape’s recipes and spells to bullshit his way through Potions. He also didn’t want his Potions meal ticket ruined so he didn’t really care who the Prince was. Harry really does belong in Slytherin House, he’s a dick. Harry should sell the Half-Blood Prince’s Potions book on ebay or whatever the Wizarding equivalent is or publicly publish all of Snape’s secret recipes. That’d piss ol’Severus off.
FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND
Rob: Guess Dumbledore should’ve listened to Harry more than Snape, huh?
Hagrid: *sniff* I can’t believe he’s gone!
Rob: Dude, were you even in this book?
Hagrid: ‘Course, I was. I buried me giant spider.
Rob: Oh yeah, that was great. Well, Dumbledore is gone.
Harry: Dead and gone. Forever. I’m on my own. Dumbledore’s phoenix is gone, so Dumbledore’s gone. Yup, gone and not coming back, he is.
Rob: All right, I get it. Except I’m not entirely convinced. Rowling really layed it on thick that Dumbledore was dead, no loopholes.
Gertrude: Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
Rob: Yeah, I’m with you there. I don’t trust Rowling to keep Dumbledore dead. There could well be something “clever” I’m missing.
John: Dumbledore’s not really dead. He’s become like Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Dumbledore: If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
John: He’s a Headmaster of Hogwarts and his portrait in already hanging in his old office. Dumbledore will still be around to help Harry and if he wanted to die, that means he’s already up to something. Dying was probably part of his plan. If he’s going to communicate to Harry from beyond the grave, then he can probably do it from those cards with his picture on it that come with the chocolate frogs. That’s probably why Dumbledore joked in one of the books that the Ministry can do anything they want to punish him as long as they keep him on the chocolate frog cards. Dumbledore should have left Harry some pictures of him to put in his wallet in his will. It would have been even funnier if they were naked pictures of him.
Rob: Honestly, I don’t know what she’s going to do in the next novel, but it wouldn’t surprise me in the least to see Dumbledore come back and Snape redeemed. That’s good and bad. One the one hand, it would be nice to see how Snape has actually been working for good all along because it feels pretty stupid that he suddenly turned like he did. On the other hand, it would be cheap, especially with how it was laid down in the end. I guess we shall see. SEVENTH HEAVEN?
Rob: Harry says he’s not coming back to Hogwarts next year. Instead he’s going to hunt the Horcruxes and destroy Voldemort.
John: What’s not to like about that? Finally, this series goes off in a wildly more exciting direction than 9 more months at school where shit always seems to happen to them. It’s about time the formula was broken. I love the idea of Harry going off around the world or wherever to hunt down the Horcruxes and kill Voldemort, if he can. I like this new, proactive Harry Potter. He really is the Poochie of this entire saga.
Rob: And Ron and Hermione are going to go with him. If he’s letting those two come with him, then why did he break up with Ginny at the end of the book? Well, better off for Ginny, because these three look like they’re going to get their asses killed.
John: It’s the dumbass Peter Parker line of reasoning all over again. My enemies will kill me, or you, so we can’t be together for your safety.
Mary Jane Watson: Harry Potter, stop being such a dope.
John: Dude, if you’re sure you’re gonna die anyway, you might as well enjoy what little time you have with your little girlfriend.
Ginny Weasley: Harry, isn’t it about time somebody saved your life?
Rob: Harry was handled pretty well by Snape, and Voldemort himself can easily kill the other two. But I’m sure it will all work out for the best. Personally, after this novel, I don’t care that much. Rowling has lost my trust as a storyteller. Unless she somehow manages to make all the stupid shit that happened with Draco, Snape, and the Half-Blood Prince’s Potion book mean something in the next novel, which I’m kind of skeptical that she’ll do. I’m sure I’ll read it when it comes out, but at this point, I’m not particularly looking forward to it.
John: I have high hopes for book seven. I’m totally down with Harry, Hermione and Ron going out into the world looking for the Horcruxes. It’s a terrific concept to kick off the finale of the series. Harry should have ordered the entire D.A. to join him on his little adventure so he could have a little army following him around to get killed while he lucks into solving all his problems. Considering the number of things that have been set up to be dealt with and all the other things that could potentially happen, the last book could be the size of a desktop PC. I’ll make a guess on how things work out: Hermione grows up to become Headmaster of Hogwarts, Ron Weasley becomes the Minister of Magic, Ginny Weasley wins the Quidditch World Cup, and the tag team of Dudley Dursley and Neville Longbottom destroy Voldemort after Harry Potter is killed when he gets run over by the Knight bus in chapter two. |
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