Battlestar Galactica 2x8 – “Final Cut”
POWER OF THE PRESS
John: I thought this was the best episode of the series so far.
It was so well-written and well-executed, centering primarily on
the characters and their flaws and personalities, which is what
I like from my TV shows. I’m cuckoo for this episode. I never
watched Xena, so I haven’t seen much of Lucy Lawless. It’s
a crime they lesboed her up for all those years on Xena because
she’s pretty hot. I totally dig her with the blonde hair, the
yellow Kill Bill costume, and her Kiwi accent. Lawless played reporter
D’Anna Biers, who gets her ass hauled to Colonial One for a
meeting with Commander Adama and President Roslin. I liked the little
character quirks, like how intimidated and jumpy Biers is in Adama’s
presence.
President Roslin: Just don’t betray him and you’ll find
he’s pretty cool.
John: Adama and Roslin offer Biers an all-access pass to do a human
interest piece on the crew of the Galactica. They’re hoping
a look into who the people of the Galactica really are will provide
a balance to the public outrage of Martial Law and how Tigh’s
ordering the Marines into the Gideon caused the deaths of four civilians.
Commander Adama: Shoot anything that compromises the safety of
this ship, it’ll be cut. Other than that, you’ll be pleasantly
surprised at how lenient I’m gonna be.
Rob: I didn't even realize that that was Lucy Lawless. You know,
if I had my way, this could have been Chloe's
role. Still, Xena does a pretty good job muckraking. I still
wonder why there need to be so many reporters in the fleet. What's
the human population down to now, about 40,000? How much is there
to report? And who's paying these reporters anyway? Who sponsors
the news? Are the reporters and the crew of Galactica the only people
working? What does everyone else do all day long? There are a lot
of questions about the economy of the remnants of humanity that
need to be answered. There's an investigative report for you.
WHAT’S YOUR NAME AND WHERE’RE YOU FROM?
John: Biers and her cameraman get the standard Galactica tour from
Dualla, but waste no time in finding naked pilots playing grab-ass
to point their cameras at. I know Adama said “all-access”
but I don’t think anyone was expecting a shot of Starbuck’s
ass crack and almost a full frontal from Apollo. Didn’t need
to see Apollo’s pubes, guys. Biers, and we, got to know a little
bit more about some of the regulars on the show. Apollo thinks his
pilots deserve respect for how difficult their job is. We found
out that Dualla’s first name is Anastasia and she was estranged
from her father, who died in the initial Cylon attack. Lieutenant
Gaeta’s first name is Felix, He smokes and likes to drink…
Colonel Tigh: Good man. I knew there was a reason I always respected
Gaeta.
John: He doesn’t really feel the same about you. Gaeta also
has a weird armadillo tattoo on his pectoral. We already know Helo’s
name is Karl C. Agathon.
Helo: The hardest part of the job? Fifty days on Cylon-occupied
Caprica where it turns out you’re expected to impregnate the
Cylon copy you’ve been on the run with. They don’t teach
you that in military school.
John: Also, the Marines don’t like Tigh at all. They’re
pretty traumatized and bitter about the Gideon Massacre. Lastly,
we got to watch a sweaty, aggressive Starbuck work out on the heavy
bag, and Apollo fed Biers some stuff to ask Starbuck specifically
to piss her off.
Starbuck: Captain Apollo likes to push my buttons.
Apollo: I love you, Kara.
Starbuck: See?
Rob: The first rule of broadcasting is that naked Viper pilots
= ratings. By the way, Apollo sure is friggin' chiselled. I had
no idea he was sporting those abs beneath the uniform.
Ghost of Gorilla Monsoon: You don't get a body like that waiting
for the bus!
Rob: That's for sure. John may be a little put off by it, but I'm
damned impressed.
Starbuck: Eh, I've seen better. Anders was a professional Pyramid
player, you know.
Rob: I'm trying to keep score here, and I don't think that Apollo's
ever fucked Starbuck, has he? But it would seem that they see each
other naked enough.
Professor Farnsworth: They're beyond your primitive notions of
modesty.
Rob: The most interesting interview was Gaeta's. You almost never
see him reveal a human side. Hmm, makes you think...
Commander Adama: Don't even start. We did the witch hunt episode
last season.
Rob: Oh yeah. Hey, what happened to that lady MP you had arrested
anyway? Is she just rotting away with Cally in the brig or what?
KAT SCRATCH FEVER
John: Viper pilot Louanne “Kat” Katraine is one of those
ancillary characters who gets a line or two every other episode,
but she got the spotlight here. After dropping her towel and mooning
Biers’s camera in the duty locker, she got into a major frak
up with Chief Tyrol. Later, Kat was so out of it, she couldn’t
land her Viper in the hangar bay and Starbuck had to talk her down
so she could crash land on Galactica. I say this a lot but I love
it when Starbuck takes charge of something. She’s fun to watch
because she’s as volatile as a live hand grenade. She’s
the closest thing to a superhero on the show. She can do anything.
She’s awesome. I love her.
Apollo: Get in line.
Anders: Both of you, behind me.
John: Starbuck found out that Kat’s been taking stimulants
for weeks just to keep doing her job because they’re short
on pilots with no reserves coming. Even worse is Kat knows with
her in rehab, that’s another pilot they’re short on. It’s
a tough road to hoe, being a Viper pilot on the Galactica.
Rob: I had just assumed that she was the one who was threatening
Tigh. Hey, you see a random background character all of the sudden
doing stuff, you get suspicious. But no, she's just all hopped up
on goofballs. Starbuck was pretty cool though. While she's off on
her random renegade missions, you tend to forget that she's also
in a position of authority and responsibility. And she's definitely
a lot better at everything than Apollo. Even when she goes rogue,
she's a lot more productive. When Starbuck took off for Cylon-occupied
Caprica, she came back with an even bigger captured Cylon vessel,
the missing Helo, a pregnant Cylon prisoner, and the Arrow of Apollo.
And on top of that, she located and helped a surviving human resistance
cell back home. What did Apollo do? Threaten to kill a senior officer,
lead a jailbreak, and split the fleet. Nice going, junior.
TALK TO ME
John: Baltar was feeling left out when Biers was constantly interviewing
naked pilots but ignoring the Vice President of the Colonies, who’s
standing right there in the hall, hovering over Biers, pretending
he doesn’t want to be noticed while talking to his imaginary
Cylon girlfriend.
D’Anna Biers: What a strange little man.
John: Even though it was ridiculously obvious he was desperate
to be interviewed, Baltar played hard to get. Number Six wanted
Baltar interviewed by Biers so he could make a public statement
about his leadership abilities and how he’s an ideal candidate
to lead the Twelve Colonies. Unfortunately, right when Baltar’s
interview was about to start, the Cylons attacked and Biers blew
Baltar off to cover the Cylon story. It brought something to mind:
what the hell is Baltar doing these days? Even though he’s
the Vice President, he doesn’t work on Colonial One or do any
administrative duties. What’s he supposed to be doing in his
lab? Is he supposed to be building a new Cylon detector? Is he researching
Sharon the Cylon? Nobody seems to be checking up on him or taking
any interest in what he’s up to.
Number Six: Frankly, even I’m getting a little bored haunting
him every day.
Rob: Imagine if Dick Cheney walked around the White House all day
long, just waiting for reporters to ask him for an interview. Of
course, it would be even weirder if an imaginary space robot was
constantly whispering in his ear.
Number Six: You need to invade Iraq. Saddam Hussein is a threat
to our child.
Rob: I don't know how much weight Baltar's Vice-Presidency holds.
Even after he was rescued from Kobol, it didn't seem like anyone
even considered putting him in power in place of Roslin while she
was in jail and then on the lam. I think Number Six has unrealistic
expectations for Baltar, no one's ever going to put him in charge.
Either that or she was just fucking with him, which, now that I
think about it, is probably the likeliest explanation.
INFINITE CRISIS
John: With two Cylon raiders on a collision course with the Galactica,
Biers took her camera and went to CIC to film how Adama and his
bridge crew respond to the crisis. Through her view finder Biers
got to see the fear on the faces of Dualla and the bridge crew and
how relieved they are when the Vipers were able to destroy the Cylons
and protect the fleet. The fact they deal with innumerable crises
every day without thanks or reward was touching. Also, as someone
who’s done his share of live documentary filming, I appreciated
the camera work and how difficult it is to run around, try to capture
things as they happen, focusing on faces, reactions, and getting
to the truth and reality of what’s happening. That was good
shit.
Rob: I liked this scene because it's cool when people start shouting
things like "Mark! Sector 3! Condition 4! Go, go, go!"
It sounds all crisp and serious.
ALL TIGHED UP
John: Someone is trying to kill Colonel Tigh. No one is the least
bit surprised, not even Tigh. The would-be assassin broke into Tigh’s
quarters and left a quote of Caprican poetry on his mirror. Adama
booked Tigh to be his delegate to a conference on Cloud Nine, but
his Raptor was sabotaged and almost exploded on the flight deck.
Meanwhile, Biers scheduled a sit down with Tigh so he could defend
his actions regarding the Gideon Massacre, but she served Tigh booze
and Tigh flipped out and stormed out of the interview.
D’Anna Biers: Someone’s a mean drunk.
John: He’s not that nice when he’s sober, either. Turns
out it’s a good thing Biers was shooting on the Galactica because
it was through her footage she discovered that Lieutenant Palladino,
the lead Marine in the Gideon Massacre, had a book of Caprican poetry.
Starbuck: Hey, I can quote the same verses! Can I be a suspect
too? Please?
John: Lt. Palladino tied up Ellen Tigh and went to kill Colonel
Tigh, but he just couldn’t do it and was arrested when Biers
led security into Tigh’s quarters. Tigh and Ellen are safe,
damn it. Couldn’t Palladino have at least shot Ellen Tigh in
the face or something?
Rob: There's a pretty good argument for putting her out the nearest
airlock like a common toaster.
Number Six: Excuse me!
Rob: Oh, take it easy. What you guys should do is take the word
"toaster" and make it your own, thereby taking the power
of the word away and turning it around.
Sharon the Cylon: Whaddup, toasta?
Rob: See? Anyway, I'm actually with Ellen Tigh on this one. Yeah,
it wasn't a great move to send the Marines into the civilian population,
but he didn't order them to kill anyone. Bad shit happened, it's
not necessarily his fault. Who told Palladino and his men to shoot
up the place? And, what, you can kill innocent civilians, but you
can't shoot Saul frickin' Tigh?
Apollo: It seems like a good idea, but it really is hard to pull
that trigger.
Rob: And off goes Lt. Palladino to the suprisingly busy Galactica
brig.
CYLONS WATCHING CYLONS
John: In the course of her filming, Biers stumbled upon the biggest
secret in the fleet, that Galactica is harboring a pregnant Sharon
the Cylon, who almost miscarried. Adama took the tape from her,
but Biers secretly switched the tapes and kept the Sharon the Cylon
footage.
Commander Adama: What the hell?! This is footage of my son’s
pubes.
John: Burn that tape! Biers presented her final cut to Adama, Roslin
and Tigh. Tigh balked that it was a hatchet job and was shocked
when Adama approved.
Commander Adama: I love it. I think it’s great. It gets my
highest rating ever.
Colonel Tigh: Nine thumbs up? What the hell is that, Bill?
John: Biers' piece turned out to be very positive towards the crew
of the Galactica and she even scored it with the music from the
original Battlestar Galactica TV show. Must have been a bitch to
get ahold of that music out there in deep space. And it turns out
the reason two Cylon raiders attacked Galactica was to capture the
transmission of Biers' footage for broadcast on Cylon-occupied Caprica,
so copies of Number Six, Boomer, and that other Cylon could see
it. As usual, the Cylons love to watch the soap opera that is humanity.
The Cylons were also pleased that Sharon the Cylon is still alive
and still pregnant. Then the big shock that I never saw coming,
the fourth Cylon in the theatre was D’Anna Biers! Holy shit.
So now of the eight Cylons hiding in the fleet, we know of Number
Six, Boomer, Simon, that guy in the theatre, that other guy who
Starbuck interrogated and Roslin blew out an airlock in season one,
and D’Anna Biers. That leaves two Cylons still unaccounted
for.
 
Rob: By my count, there are at least seven Cylons unaccounted for.
We don't know for sure that Boomer was counting herself, Number
Six, who disappeared somehow, or the guy Roslin threw out the airlock,
since she knew that that happened. I think the guy in the theater
was the same guy they left on that planet back in the pilot too.
There's no reason to believe that either him or Simon are actually
in the fleet, since there could be other models, or other copies
of other models roaming around. Too many permutations to be sure
of anything. All we can be pretty sure about is that D'Anna Biers
is one of the eight Boomer was referring to. Assuming, of course,
that Boomer actually knew anything and they didn't just plant that
number in her head to fuck around with her. They really do put the
Boomer model through the wringer.
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