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Nerd Alert! Here's a Super Nerd Alert! if there ever was one. I was gonna do this whole long thing about Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut after I watched it last week. But I didn't, because I was lazy. Then my good buddy Sean goes ahead and writes one up after he watched it and totally saved me the trouble. Sean and I see eye to eye on most things of this sort and it turns out I 99% agree with him on his take of The Donner Cut. So I'm just gonna go ahead and let Sean do the heavy lifting and I'll just chime in [with this here fancy font in brackets] whenever I have something relevant to add. Up, up and away... Cut This! Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut
I love Dick Donner. He is responsible for 3 of my favorite movies of all time (Superman The Movie, and Lethal Weapons 1 & 2). I've always been a big fan of The Omen. [Eh.] I loved Ladyhawke growing up. I even enjoy his films that aren't so great, like Maverick and 16 Blocks. So I've been interested for quite some time in seeing his version of Superman II. At the same time, however, I've always loved Superman II as is. Growing up, it never occurred to me that Superman II was a bastardization of Donner's original vision. All I knew is that it was a kick ass Superman movie. While it is not as good a film as Superman The Movie, it is more fun (not unlike how Rocky is a better film than Rocky III, but the latter is a far more enjoyable film). Sure, there were things that bugged me, most of which had to do with all the made-up Kryptonian powers, like the Superman illusions in the Fortress of Solitude, or Zod being able to levitate someone with a white beam of light from his finger, or the memory wipe kiss. All and all, however, I love the movie, and I don't understand the mindset of the aintitcool nerds who bad mouth the movie just because it is not what Donner intended. It's not like Highlander 2, where the movie was a disaster and I was hoping that a new cut would somehow save the film (and after 2 tries I'm still waiting for a cut that will save that movie). So I went into The Richard Donner Cut very curious but very wary. There were alot of things about the Richard Donner Cut of Superman II that I really enjoyed, and really preferred over the Lester Cut, most notably and obviously the inclusion of Jor-El. However, overall, I think the Donner Cut is inferior to the Lester Cut. Now that might not have been the case had Donner been allowed to complete the film originally. Judging by the commentary track, the mindset in creating the Donner Cut was to cut out as much of the Lester footage as possible, even if it was in the original Superman II script, because Donner didn't like how Lester filmed that material. I'm sure many of the holes that created, and the disjointed feeling that gives the Donner Cut, would have been avoided had Donner filmed those scenes, thus allowing for their inclusion in the movie. If Donner had just bit the bullet and put more of the Lester footage in this cut, it would have been a better movie. Moreover, it seems like sometimes Donner used different, inferior takes and angles just to be different for the sake of being different. However there are other flaws in the Donner cut that I think would have existed even if Donner had filmed all of Superman II. To be more specific: Slow Start. One of the great things about a sequel is the ability to hit the ground running because the universe is established. It was true in Empire with the Battle of Hoth. True of X2 with the assault on the X Mansion. True of Khan with the Kobayashi Maru test. And it used to be true of Superman II with the Paris scene. In Donner's world, since the Zod and company were set free by the nuclear missile Superman diverted from Hackensack , that scene is obviously not part of the original vision. As a result, the ONLY time Clark Kent appeared as Superman before the battle with the Kryptonians was when he saved the kid at Niagara Falls and when he flew Lois to the Fortress of Solitude. That's a whole lot of movie without Superman, and not much for him to do when he was on screen until the final battle. Speaking of Niagara Falls, it's worth noting that just before Superman's first appearance in the movie, Lois sends Clark off to get hot dogs and "freshly squeezed" orange juice, a call back to an earlier scene of her squeezing orange juice at the Planet. In the Donner Cut, however, that earlier scene at the Planet is gone, so when Lois and Clark say "freshly squeezed" in unison, it's meaningless. Plus, in the Donner Cut he stopped the scene short and cut out Lois' realization that, once again, Clark was not around when Superman showed up. Maybe it was cut because it was too repetitive of the new opening in the Daily Plant with Lois throwing herself out the window, but I think it is still a vital moment to explain why Lois, having not proven Clark was Superman at the Planet, decided to try again with the gun full of blanks. [Here's the rub: I liked the alternate Donner opening in the Daily Planet where Lois drew a suit, glasses and hat on a photo of Superman and realized he was Clark Kent. It was a hell of a cute scene and I thought Lois throwing herself out of the Daily Planet window to force Clark to become Superman was a hell of an opener. A hell of an opener for Lois and Clark or a sitcom. Which is a little bit more of the direction the comedy was heading in. Still, the commentary between Donner and the great Tom Mankewicz made it clear that the Superman saga to them was going to be a little less about the awesome heroics of the Man of Steel and more about Clark and Lois, those two crazy kids in love.] Super Lovin'. I can see why Donner loves his scene of Lois shooting a blank at Clark to prove he is Superman better than Clark tripping on the pink bear head. It really is a fun scene to watch, and even in their screen tests, Reeve and Kidder play it beautifully. [Donner's enthusiasm for Margot Kidder in the commentary was infectous. He really liked her. And she actually never looked better than she did in the screen test footage. She was really pretty and charming. That was the first time I really saw Lois the way Clark must see her in Donner's movies.] That said, it is not a vastly superior scene to the Lester version, and what Lester had that Donner does not is dialogue that transitions between Lois learning Clark's secret and Superman and Lois flying to the Fortress (Superman: "You need to know it all." Lois: "I'd better go change. . . and I guess you better change too.") I also miss Superman flying around the globe gathering what he needed for his dinner with Lois in the Fortress. Once at the Fortress, having Clark 's conversation about giving up his powers with Jor-El instead of Laura is a major improvement. And I loved the sight of Lois in Superman's shirt after they shacked up. Very typical of a woman. [Think un-sexist thoughts. Think un-sexist thoughts.] What I liked about the Lester cut, however, was that Clark only slept with Lois after giving up his powers. While in current comic book continuity it is clear that Superman can fuck Lois without his Super powers killing her, I like the notion -- expounded on in Mallrats and still present in Smallville -- that Superman would put a human woman in serious physical harm during sex. Thus, he wasn't giving up his powers simply because he chose to value one human above all of humanity but because he couldn't be with a human woman unless he himself was human. [Maybe in Smallville, teenage Clark Kent, with limited sexual experience, lack of maturity and self control, would blow Lana through the barn wall with a Sup-ejac, but I always figured Superman could control himself. Would a goody-two-booties like Superman would be having hot, nasty, bestiality kind of porno sex anyway with Lois? No, he'd be gentle. (Er, then again, how many women had Christopher Reeve's Superman slept with?) The part I really liked about the re-inserted scene where Jor-El tries to talk his son out of giving up his powers and becoming *shudder* human was Jor-El's huge holographic head spotting naked Lois in the Superman shirt and socks and giving her the evil eye. My second favorite new thing in the Donner Cut.] The Planet Houston. Overall, the film was very disjointed, and the best example of that was when the super villains arrived in small town Texas. First, the film cuts out the beat of Non trying to use his heat vision on the stick after Ursa ignites the snake. That is a nice comic moment that I've always enjoyed, and I don't see why it had to be taken out. It also pays off when he successfully uses heat vision for the first time to take out an approaching military jeep. That is still in the movie, as is the reaction shot of Non and Zod, but Non's pride at using heat vision make little sense when we didn't see his initial struggles with it. More importantly, the movie then goes straight from Zod magically levitating the shotgun out of the deputy's hands to the news crew covering the devastation, with the military arriving shortly thereafter. That left a huge, gaping hole where the villains first arrive in town and start their reign of terror. Indeed, one of my favorite gags in the movie is Ursa in the arm wrestling match, which is completely gone from the Donner Cut. In the new version, you don't see why a news crew, let alone the military, show up in response to the Kryptonians. In Donner's commentary, he indicates that all of that was cut because it was not menacing enough, and if he had finished the picture he would have filmed those scenes much differently. That may be true, but this film would have benefited from leaving the scenes that were shot in. However, once they leave Texas , I did prefer their show of power being knocking over the Washington Monument as opposed to magically reshaping Mount Rushmore in their own images. Their assault on the White House was also much better, especially with Zod hanging back, letting Non and Ursa do all the work, and then playing with the machine gun. Though once they get in the Oval Office, there is an odd moment right after E.G. Marshal reveals himself as the real President where Ursa goes over to the Generals and makes a crack about the men on the planet wearing ribbons that totally distracts from the dramatic thrust of the scene, which is the President of the United States kneeling before Zod. The choice to remove that bit with Ursa in the Lester Cut was the better way to play that scene. [A coupla things: General Zod going apeshit shooting soldiers with a machine gun was my favorite thing in the new cut. I've always said: nothing would ever be scarier than if Superman pointed a gun at you. Think how fucked you'd be. Also, hey, I liked all the funny moments in the Lester Cut too, but Donner's Zod is far more fearsome. His voice is deeper and more threatening and he's a lot more ruthless, not as lackadasical as in Lester's. I prefer Donner's Zod. Also, Donner's Ursa seemed a bit more sex-ay, and that ain't not bad.] FATHER! I think one of the major improvements in the Donner Cut is the scene between Clark and his father when he comes begging for his powers back and Jor-El explains that he is using the last of the Fortress' power, and the last of his essence, to restore Clark's powers ("the son becomes the father, and the father the son" nice to know where that dialogue came from). In favor of Lester, however, I liked the bit in his version where Lois had left the green crystal on the Fortress floor, thus preventing it from being destroyed when the crystal console went boom after Clark lost his powers. So, I give Lester credit for doing a pretty good job of making that work when the Salkinds decided to cut Brando from the film. The Brawl to Settle It All. Here is a key example of where changes were made for the sake of change that weakened the film. "General, would you care to step outside?" is a perfect first line when Superman arrives because it mirrors Clark's line in the diner. "Haven't you ever heard of freedom of the press" is a stupid one-liner, especially since Zod most certainly had not heard of freedom of the press. Moreover, I much prefer the "I'm not a coward, Zod" dialogue coming before the battle starts. Indeed, when the battle started without that line, I was pissed. That was alleviated when the dialogue was used soon after the battle started, but it was not as effective. On the flip side, I loved Superman actually throwing a punch, and having him swirl into the Statue of Liberty 's torch was also an improvement. Overall, however, I prefer the Lester battle because of the superior build-up. The One and Future King of Australia (and Cuba). What was somewhat disconcerting in the Donner cut was the incredible increase in Lex's misogynisim. The man was constantly threatening to beat Ms. Teschmacher, but always with a smile on his face. I didn't know what to make of that. I did like the added beat of Lex asking to have Cuba thrown into the deal when he offered up the location of the Fortress of Solitude, but I didn't like that all mention of him picking up Zod and company's alpha waves before their first public appearance was cut from the film. Whether through the looped dialogue in Lester's version or the deleted scene on the Donner disk, I think that is an important moment to give Lex's trip North purpose, and to explain why he left the Fortress after getting what he needed. While on Lex, I should mention that Gene Hackman is a vastly superior Luthor to Kevin Spacey. Dr. Cosby I presume. One of the oddly wonderful things about Superman II was the random picture of Bill Cosby on Perry White's wall. That picture is only there during the Lester footage. In the Donner footage the picture appears to be of Ed Asner. While "Lou Grant" may be the more appropriate photo for a newsroom, nothing beats Bill Cosby. [I've always wanted that Cosby picture. Whoever gives me a framed copy of that Bill Cosby in the future will become my favorite person ever.] Back to the Fortress. I was very happy that all of the made up powers in the battle in the Fortress were not in the Donner Cut. On the other hand, the utter lack of a battle in the Fortress makes Superman's "submission" to Zod seem way too sudden and unbelievable. [Dude, they broke through his magic force field. Superman threw up his hands at that point.] Indeed, instead of a battle, we just got a bunch on menacing pointing. I also much prefer the reading of the line "Too late Luthor! Too late." in the Lester Cut (i.e. with authority as opposed to the playful reading in the Donner Cut). As the world turns. Right up front, I'll admit I'm no fan of the deus ex machina in Superman The Movie of Supes turning back time. First, because it makes him to God-like and second, because that's just not what would happen if the Earth reversed directions on its axis. However, it worked dramatically because of Lois' death. That was so devastating to Superman that he had to defy Jor-El and go to extreme lengths to bring her back. In Superman II, however, there was no dramatic need for Superman to turn back time. The villains were defeated, depowered, and presumably dead; there was no need to put them back in the phantom zone. While some physical structures were damaged, Superman could easily fix them. The only reason to do it was to make it so Lois forgot his secret. That's one hell of an extreme measure to take. I can't imagine that if he had the power to do so Bruce Wayne would have turned back time so that Vicki Vale wouldn't remember Alfred letting her into the Batcave. Another problem is that Superman turned back time to the very start of the movie (instead of Superman The Movie where a relatively short period of time was revised), so it's like the entire movie didn't happen. So why did I spend 2 hours watching it? And since the whole movie didn't happen, why did Clark go back to confront the trucker? And how did the trucker and other folks in the diner recognize him? The owner still says "I just had this joint fixed, it cost me a fortune." So turning back time fixes the Washington Monument, but not the Canadian diner? And that isn't a flaw caused by Lester finishing the film. Donner shot those dinner scenes back when he was planning on the end of Superman II being Superman turning back time, so the flaw was always there. As far as Superman Returns being a sequel to this cut [I mentioned I thought so to Sean after I watched the Donner Cut.], that also means that Clark and Lois never slept together, so no love child. Bottom line, turning back time is a horrible device on every level for this movie. It also robs the movie of the great scene of Superman returning the flag to the White House (which was never damaged thanks to the time warp) and apologizing to the President for being away and promising to never let that happen again (unless, ya know, some astronomers discover the remains of Krypton). Every Superman movie should have a scene where he apologizes for being a dick. [That's a great observation at the end. So great, I'll take full credit for it since I'm the one who said it to you. Credit where credit is due. As for a reversal of time not being what happens if the Earth's direction is reversed on its axis, oh, and I suppose the Enterprise would still be able to time travel by swinging around the sun at warp speed? NERD!!] |
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