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Battlestar Galactica DON’T SHOOT!
John: We’re right back where we left off before the fall hiatus, with Galactica’s Vipers about to start a shooting war with the Pegasus Vipers. Neither Adama nor Cain are willing to blink, although Galactica’s new CAG, Kat, has no qualms about freaking out. Yikes, Kat’s in charge of the Air Group?! The girl who dropped her towel and flashed her snatch to D’Anna Biers’s camera?
Adama: What better options do I have when a female superior takes my two best pilots away?
Roslin: Oh, we’re back to harping on that again, are we? Let season one go, Bill.
John: Luckily, Starbuck jumped back into the fray in the Blackbird after completing her unauthorized Cylon recon mission. Apollo, who was relived of his duties at gunpoint by Stinger, IMed Starbuck about the frakked up situation about to go down, but that didn’t prevent Pegasus and Galactica from mistaking her for a Cylon raider and turning all guns towards her. Cooler heads prevailed, Starbuck wasn’t massacred in a hail of Viper fire, and a truce was called because Starbuck brought home the booty once again.
Rob: The truce was kind of a let down after I've been waiting all this time for some hot Viper on Viper action. Instead we just got to watch them play chicken with each other for a few minutes while Cain and Adama looked all grave and serious. How was Adama planning on getting Helo and the Chief back if he wasn't actually going to shoot anyone?
Adama: It doesn't matter, now that Starbuck's back, I can put my family back together again.
Rob: I don't think it's going to work out that way this time, Commander. Cain is kind of like a crazy Social Services agent who wants to split up your family and put you in a rehab program or something.
TWO OF A KIND
John: Starbuck brought back extensive footage of what the Cylons call their Resurrection Ship – the factory where the human Cylon models are built and can have their consciousness downloaded to. Wait, wait, wait. So there’s a ship out there where there are dozens, if not hundreds, if not thousands of naked Six and Boomer models?
Baltar: Frak me!
John: You said it. Cain was so impressed with Starbuck, she promoted her to Pegasus CAG. Cain sees a lot of herself in Starbuck and has a keen eye for recognizing talent. She also promised Starbuck that they would return to Caprica to rescue the people back there and then liberate the Twelve Colonies from the Cylons. That’s exactly what Starbuck wanted to hear and it brings up the fact that Starbuck doesn’t want to find Earth like Adama and Roslin do.
Rob: Then what the fuck did she disobey orders and risk her life and the captured Cylon raider to go back to Caprica for? Was Anders that good a fuck?
Anders: Well, I don’t like to brag…
Rob: I'm more for the finding Earth idea myself. There's really no telling what it will be like when they finally get there, but it has a couple of things going for it over Caprica. A, hopefully it's not completely irradiated, and B, hopefully the Cylons don't know where it is. Actually, if the Cylons hadn't followed them to Kobol, would they have just stopped there? Seemed like a nice enough place. I don't see how Cain thinks they can re-take Caprica from the Cylons. The Cylons gave them a pretty good ass-kicking when they conquered the Twelve Colonies in the first place, and they had more than two ships then.
IT AIN’T EASY BEIN’ CYLON
John:
Adama: What happened to you happened on my watch.
Doc Cottle: And is unforgivable!
Adama: So’s putting two slugs in my chest. I want you to die. But rape is not cool. So I apologize.
Rob: Do Cain and her people know that
John: Meanwhile, on Pegasus, Baltar made enough progress with the raped and tortured model of Six in the brig that she can now eat, speak, and deliver Lou Thesz Presses. Despite his sneaking a peek while Six 2 is getting dressed, Baltar’s been doing a bit of personal growing: He’s losing interest in his fantasy world of his house on the lake and didn’t really care for Six’s story about how she liked to go watch Pyramid games back on Caprica.
Six: There was this one player named Anders. God, he was hot.
Starbuck: That bitch.
John: Poor Six 2 has been though a lot. Rapes, beatings, torture, starvation, getting spit on by Cain. She just wants to die. But the joke’s on her since even if she does and her consciousness is downloaded into a new body, she’ll still remember all the rapes, beatings, torture, starvation and getting spit on by Cain.
Six: We callously slaughtered billions of your people and are violating the bodies of the surviving women to turn them into breeding stock, but this spitting is just beyond the pail. How could you do this to us?
Rob: The point actually isn't about you Cylons, it's about what mistreating the Cylons does to us as humans. It dehumanizes the perpetrators as well as the, well, robots. I do feel bad for Six 2 though, she got caught up in events beyond her control. Would any of this have happened to her if the Abu Garib scandal hadn't hit the news when it did? It's hard to say.
Roslin: By the way, I was worrying about the prospect of more Cylons hiding in the fleet. I was thinking that I should be able to monitor communications among the civilians to make sure they're loyal humans.
Rob: One thing at a time, Madame President.
BRIG BUDDIES
John: How are Helo and the Chief doing? Well, they’re not dead. Yet. Apollo stopped by the brig to keep them in the loop of the impending operation to destroy the Cylon Resurrection Ship. After that’s done, Cain will make sure they’ll be staring down the barrel of a shotgun. Sitting in the brig awaiting their death gave the Chief a lot of time to think and this time, he’s really, seriously, totally done with
Rob: It's odd that they let Apollo wander in an out of Helo and the Chief's cell. Actually, it's kind of odd that they let him wander around at all. If you have to pull a gun on a guy in the middle of a fight to ensure he doesn't help the other side, it says you have questions about his reliability.
Colonel Tigh: You're preaching to the choir here.
Rob: Helo and
GOT ANY GOOD STORIES?
John: Adama met Laird, the civilian engineer who became Pegasus’s deck chief and is now standing in for
Tigh: That’s even more frakked up than the story of how I was sitting around drunk in my underwear about to set myself on fire.
Rob: I had wondered how Cain thought she was going to keep the support of the civilian fleet after she ran all over Adama and ignored Roslin. Turns out she wasn't terribly worried about it. What does she think the point of fighting the Cylons is if she doesn't bother protecting civilians? Isn't that what the military is supposed to do? At least when Adama had Roslin arrested he was doing it for the good of the entire fleet. Cain probably would've had her in jail from the moment she decided she was the new President. And she probably would've shoved Tom Zarek out of the nearest airlock at the first opportunity.
ONE SHALL STAND, ONE SHALL FALL
John: Roslin hosted Adama and Cain on Colonial One and their meeting didn’t go so well. Cain was belligerent and bellicose, Adama was silent and passive. Roslin laid out terms for the cease-fire to continue until they complete the operation to destroy the Cylon Resurrection Ship but knew that as soon as that’s over, Cain would eliminate Adama and take sole command of the fleet.
Roslin: We have to kill her.
Captain Picard: Agreed.
Rob: Why not just arrest her?
Roslin: Eh, I don't like her.
John: Adama didn’t want it to come to that, but the stories from Fisk and his own gut told him Roslin is right about Cain. So after the official briefing for the Cylon op, Adama asked Starbuck to pull a Cylon Boomer and take out Cain permanent-like.
Adama: None of that two slugs in the chest crap, either. That doesn’t work. I want you to shoot her in the head.
John: Meanwhile, Cain put forward her own scheme to transfer Fisk to Galactica’s CIC with a team of Marines and terminate Adama’s command on her mark. I shudder to think where this is going: Cain dead, Adama dead, Tigh and Fisk in command of the fleet.
Ellen Tigh: I’ll drink to that.
Rob: I would've had a different plan. Before it comes to sending Starbuck in to shoot her, why not give Apollo a crack at her? Cain looks stressed, uptight, and most definitely in need of a little deep dicking. I'm sure Apollo would be willing.
Apollo: You bet your ass. Every other woman on the cast is either a Cylon, dying, or involved with someone else.
Rob: Of course, this assumes that Cain hasn't found a way to alleviate some of her sexual frustration already.
Fisk: The things she's ordered me to do...a man can never be the same after that.
Rob: I like Adama's chances. Starbuck will either kill Cain or she'll come up with something better. Fisk is deathly afraid of Cain, which could either make him more likely to kill Adama or less. I don't think those are bad odds.
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