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Nerd Alert!
June 9, 2007
Back in 2002 when WWE did their original brand extension , Rob and I pissed away hours at work with our own drafts for other famous franchises. In honor of the 2007 WWE Draft, Back of the Head presents these classic blasts from the past in the form of our own Drafts.
MARVEL VS. DC
June 17, 2004
John: I went crazy for the WWE draft. Makes me wish Marvel and DC could do a draft.
Rob: Mix and match things up a little? See how Superman could lead the Avengers, see if Daredevil could clean up Crime Alley?
John: Yeah, I say we should do it.
John: You take the Marvel Universe, I'll take DC. We each get ten draft choices, any character from the opposing universe. And then we can negotiate trades if need be.
Rob: Okay, I want Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman , Green Lantern, Aquaman, the Flash, the Martian Manhunter, Green Arrow, Plastic Man and Hawkman.
John: Hold on, asshole. We have to do it right.
Rob: Well, you have to do it in a way that makes sense. You should be able to protect a certain amount of guys. For instance, I might want to draft Luthor becuase I want to throw him up against Spider-Man . But if you draft Spidey, then that doesn't work. Or that can be dealt with through trading.
Rob: I say we should be able to protect five guys.
John: I have no problem with that. Do we have to announce who the five guys are?
Rob: Good question.
John: Of the five protected characters, are they just protected from the draft but negotiable through trades?
John: And can we draft groups under certain conditions. For instance, I cannot draft "The X-Men ." But I could draft "Sentinels."
John: This could be interesting. A field of ten draft picks is a lot. As the DC Universe is the home of the icons, you have a distinct advantage to rip the heart right out of the DCU. I however can remake the DCU into a darker, more abstract place.
John: I'd have to look closely at everything Marvel has to offer, and specifically analyze Marvel's superteams to evaulate who has breakout potential.
John: As well as determine how to maintain what and who is important in and about the DCU.
Rob: This is interesting. I think everything's negotiable through trade, but obviously you're protecting guys for a reason. I think the groupings should make sense, like you said with the Sentinels and X-Men .
Rob: I think we should have to announce who's protected before we start the draft.
Rob: I'm thinking of guys I want to protect, but I keep thinking about what those guys could do if they were in the DC universe. I think I know the first three guys I want to draft.
Rob: Here's a question, how do we deal with the new character's entries in the universe? Do we treat them as new to the universe altogether, have they been there all along, or is it up to our own discretion?
John: Whatever you want to do. You have total control over that. You can pretend they were there all along and rework history, or you can say they jumped universes, or both or nothing.
John: Everyone is viable. Heroes, villains, supporting cast. But let's set the rules: no one 'dead'.
Rob: Some guys you could have them start out from square one. For instance, I could draft Wally West and have him get his powers right in the present day and have him fit in with the Marvel Universe. Of course, if I did that, I'd be ignoring his history with Barry Allen.
Rob: That's fair.
John: Deadman, okay. Pre-Crisis Supergirl , not okay. Although I hear DC brought her back recently.
John: So maybe she's okay.
John: I don't fucking know. Comics are stupid.
Rob: I'll make it simple for you: anyone with such an asinine situation, I'm not interested in.
John: Fair enough.
Rob: Some things just might not work. I wouldn't draft Kyle Rainer, because you just can't take him out of the context of the Green Lantern Corps. And I don't want to draft all those fuckers.
John: Don't tell me all this shit now. Save your cards for when the game begins.
John: I have a question that might complicate things but I want considered anyway.
John: Can certain unique objects be drafted? For instance, could I draft the Cosmic Cube?
John: Could you draft a Power Ring, but not necessarily one worn by Kyle Rayner?
Rob: I suppose so.
John: Interesting.
John: Discretion should be used for this. For instance, it would be stupid to say, "I draft Superman's cape!"
Rob: I draft Earth-2!
John: I draft the Secret Wars mini-series and all the characters therein!
Rob: Do you have your five protected characters yet?
John: Almost.
Rob: I have three, but I'm not positive about the others.
John: I'm stuck on the fifth.
Rob: The ones I want to protect, I mostly want to keep because I have ideas to put them with some of the people I want to draft.
John: I'm the same way. I have a vision for a new DC Universe.
Rob: You know, I think there are more guys I want to kick out of the Marvel Universe than I want to keep.
John: That might help me out because I have over 20 viable names listed here.
Rob: As keepers?
John: As draftees from Marvel.
Rob: Ah. See, the problem I have is that everyone's bunched in New York . That's annoying.
John: I believe there is a lot of talent out there in the Marvel Universe that could benefit from leaving New York , a change of scenery, a new outlook, a new universe in make an impact.
Rob: I have my five protectees. No, six, but I'm almost positive you'll be protecting at least one or two of them.
John: I am also almost completely positive you're protecting at the very least my number one draft pick.
Rob: Do you have your protectees?
John: Yeah, let's do it.
John: It's time now to announce our five protected characters. Who will they be from the Marvel Universe?
Rob: Spider-Man.
Rob: Reed Richards.
Rob: Thanos.
Rob: Magneto.
Rob: Dr. Robert Bruce Banner, the Incredible Hulk.
John: Not surprised. Four out of the five I guessed.
Rob: Who didn't you guess?
John: Reed Richards.
John: I thought either Dr. Doom or Captain America .
Rob: He was on the bubble. I'm actually kind of regretting it now. There are two other guys I would've kept.
Rob: Not Cap, but Doom I was thinking of.
Rob: Now yours.
John: All right. The DC Universe characters protected from the draft are:
John: The Batman.
John: Wonder Woman.
John: Lex Luthor.
Rob: Fucker.
John: The Flash.
Rob: And?
John: Darkseid.
Rob: That's interesting. Not who I thought you'd keep.
John: Superman is the first to go, according to my new vision. Unless you don't draft him, at which case he stays. But we'll find out.
Rob: I don't know if I'll draft him or not.
John: I know Superman would be pissed at me anyway.
John: You ready to draft?
Rob: I'm close. Let's start.
Rob: You first. We'll alternate.
John: I'm pleased to welcome as the number one draft pick to the DC Universe -- Wolverine!
DC 1) Wolverine, aka Logan. Member of the X-Men. Powers: Mutant healing ability. Adamantium claws and bones.
Rob: Nice. I should've protected him. Oh well. I'm going to select as number one, the Man of Steel, the Last Son of Krypton, Superman!
M 1) Superman, aka Kal-El, Clark Kent. Member of the Justice League. Powers: Flight, Superstrength, Superspeed, Invulnerability, Super Vision and Hearing.
John: I just want to say that it pains me to see Superman go. But I have a vision of a darker, more abstract DC Universe. A DC Universe where good doesn't always win in the end, where heroes must make hard choices with tough consequences, where no one is ever sure what is completely right. As such, the greatest beacon of hope and light has to go. Sorry, Superman.
John: My number two draft pick is the mutant sometimes known as Marvel Girl, sometimes Phoenix , sometimes Dark Phoenix. She is Jean Grey!
DC 2) Jean Grey. Founding member of the X-Men. Powers: Mutant telekinetic, telepath. Occasionally possessed by the Phoenix Force.
Rob: I was thinking of protecting her too. Alas, you can't keep everyone.
John: Tell me about it.
Rob: To complement the last son of Krypton, I select another man without a race. My second pick is the last Martian, J'onn J'onzz.
M 2) J'onn J'onzz, aka The Martian Manhunter, aka John Jones. Member of the Justice League. Powers: Shapeshifting, Superstrength, Telekinesis, Martian Vision.
John: That hurts too. I thought very hard about protecting J'onn, but the fact is this Martian does not sell comic books.
Rob: That's certainly true.
John: I'm pleased to announce the number three draft pick into the DC Universe, the armored monarch of the sovereign nation of Latveria, Dr. Victor Von Doom!
DC 3) Dr. Doom, aka Victor Von Doom. Monarch of Latveria. Powers: Battle Armor, high-technology, Doombots, knowledge of the occult.
Rob: Ouch.
Rob: Well, that's to be expected.
Rob: My third pick will be that master manipulator and leader of men, Maxwell Lord!
M 3) Maxwell Lord, aka Maxwell Lord IV. Former benefactor of the Justice League. Powers: Persuasion, rumored to be a cyborg
John: Shit.
John: My 4th draft pick is a man who has had a lot of demons in his life, but is still a hero to be sure, the Golden Avenger, Iron Man!
DC 4) Iron Man, aka Tony Stark. Member of the Avengers. Powers: Armored battlesuit allowing for flight, superstrength, invulnerability, repulsor rays
Rob: I make my fourth pick with some reservations since I already took some heavy hitters, but I think this is a hero with a lot to prove and great potential. SHAZAM!!! I pick Captain Marvel.
M 4) Captain Marvel, aka Billy Batson. Powers: Superstrength, flight, invulnerability, control over mystical lightning.
John: God damn it. I was willing to lose Superman because I expected to have Captain Marvel.
Rob: I actually only expected to get one of those two. I'm not sure I have room in my Universe for both, but I have plans for each of them.
John: My fifth draft pick is someone who has been part of a group for so very long, he has often been relegated to the background and has yet to see his full potential reached. I choose this man, this monster, Benjamin J. Grimm, the ever-lovin' Thing!
DC 5) The Thing, aka Ben Grimm. Member of the Fantastic Four. Powers: Physiology altered by cosmic rays, orange rock skin, invulnerability, super strength.
Rob: My fifth pick is a somewhat obscure hero, but someone who should find no trouble getting himself into trouble in the New York City of the Marvel Universe: Vic Sage, the Question.
M 5) The Question, aka Charles Victor Szasz, aka Vic Sage. No Powers. Martial Artist. Wears prosthetic mask creating the appearance of having no face.
John: Wow. I never would have guessed that. I hate to lose Ol' No Face.
John: My sixth pick is a martial artist in her own right. Indeed, she may well be the most dangerous woman in the world, I choose Elektra Natchios!
DC 6) Elektra, aka Elektra Natchios. Assassin. Martial Artist. No Powers. Wields Japanese sais as primary weapons.
Rob: Gone, gone, oh form of man, Arise the draft pick Etrigan!
M 6) Etrigan, aka The Demon, aka Jason Blood. Rhyming Demon. Powers: Superstrength, Invulnerability, Mystic Fire emission.
John: Very interesting. You're making some picks from far afield.
Rob: What I'm trying to do is draft guys who are very different from what the Marvel Universe has. That said, I plan to program Etrigan as a Hulk villian.
John: I have a similar strategy if you look over who I've chosen so far.
John: And as such, my lucky number seven choice is perhaps unlucky for the DC Universe. Indeed, no one in the DCU has ever quite seen the likes of... Frank Castle, The Punisher!
DC 7) The Punisher , aka Frank Castle. No Powers. Armed with any number of firearms and high ordinance weaponry.
Rob: I was going to protect him, but I thought it was more fair to let him kill some people in the DCU. And speaking on new universes to kill, no one's looking forward for fresh feebs to mangle than the last Czarnian, Lobo!
M 7) Lobo. Former member of L.E.G.I.O.N. Lunatic. Powers: Superstrength, Invulnerability, can survive in outer space unprotected indefinitely.
John: I completely forgot about him.
John: But even I would love to see Lobo rip through the Marvel Universe. Poor Superman, he'll never be rid of Lobo.
John: I choose the man bonded to the evil living alien symbiote, the deadly menace known as Venom!
DC 8) Venom, aka Eddie Brock. Powers: Alien symbiote grants him superstrength, wall crawling, spider-like powers.
Rob: Spider-Man is not going to be sad to see him go.
John: Batman will probably not be happy to meet Venom.
Rob: No, you just have to draft about twenty more of his arch-enemies, and he'll breathe easier.
Rob: I'm a little hesitant about this pick, because I'm not sure how it will work out, but I'm going to go for it anyway. John Constantine.
M 8) John Constantine. Rogue Occultist.
Rob: I have my reasons.
John: Fair enough. I was debating picking Jesse Custer before I remembered he was already mine.
John: We're down to the wire, here.
John: Where did that phrase come from, "down to the wire?"
John: I have here six viable choices on my list, yet only two spots remain.
John: I choose a very powerful young woman named Jennifer Walters, sometimes Savage, always Sensational, the She-Hulk!
DC 9) She-Hulk, aka Jennifer Walters. Member of the Avengers. Powers: Gamma irradiated superstrength, endurance, invulnerability.
Rob: The Jade Giantess. You're decimating my Avengers. Thankfully, I have replacements.
Rob:
In any event, for my next pick, I choose Dr Fate!
M 9) Dr. Fate, aka. Nabu. Lord of Order. Powers: Sorcery.
John: And here we are at the end of the draft. I must say it has been brutal and surprising.
John: My final pick is one that surprises even me at this late stage in the draft, as I have been considering a number of names from Nick Fury to Daredevil to Namor to Captain America . But in the end, I choose none of those man. I choose the mutant master of ice, Bobby Drake, the Iceman!
DC 10) Iceman, aka Bobby Drake. Member of the X-Men . Powers: Mutant ice generation and emission
Rob: All right, I'm agonizing over this final pick. I haven't taken a woman, or a major villian. But I can't really think of any of either that I desperately want.
John: I really just threw caution to the wind with Iceman. But I chose him because there's no one in the DCU quite like him.
Rob: There is one character that I've always liked, for some reason. So, I'm going to take her. Jesse Quick. Bet you didn't see that coming.
M 10) Jesse Quick. Powers: Superspeed
John: Can't say I did.
John: Or even remembered her.
Rob: All right, there we go. Now, is there anything you wanted to trade for. No one is untouchable over here, no one.
John: I want Thanos and I'll give you Luthor for him.
John: And Darkseid if you wish.
Rob: I don't know. I didn't think I'd get Superman, and I'm reluctant to keep Luthor and Superman together. Plus, I wanted Thanos to fight Superman.
Rob: Do you want Captain America?
Rob: I want Superman to lead the Avengers, which means I don't have much use for him.
John: That is a good question. I agonized over Cap myself. Wonder Woman is being pushed as the Icon in Superman's absence. She is star-spangled. Why do I need Cap?
Rob: Poor Cap. Somehow superfluous.
Rob: What do you want for the Doom Patrol?
John: Magneto.
John: You are getting 5 or 6 freaks there.
Rob: Hmm, I think you'll have to come down on that a little.
Rob: I'll give you the New Warriors.
John: That is a tempting offer. Specify, please.
Rob: I want Cliff Steele, Rebis, Celsius, Lodestone, the Professor and the ugly little girl. You can have the classic Warrior lineup. I'll through in Silhouette if you want.
John: Night Thrasher, Nova, Namorita, Speedball, Silhouette?
Rob: Justice and Firestar too.
John: Done.
Rob: I think we both got a good deal.
John: I think so too.
John: I think I will take Cap. I just thought of an angle for him. Name your price.
Rob: I wish I had gotten a big villian from the DCU. I just really couldn't think of anything.
Rob: Vandal Savage.
Rob: Seems kind of a low price for Cap.
Rob: How about the Joker?
John: Hell no.
Rob: What do you want for the Joker?
Rob: How about Cap and someone else?
John: Vandal Savage, and how about I throw in some B-grade Superman villains. The Parasite, Solomon Grundy, Bizarro, Doomsday.
John: This is for Cap.
John: Also Garguax and his Plastic Men, because I know you love them and want a moon base.
Rob: I don't really want those guys. Superman has new B-grade guys to fight in the Marvel Universe. He'll have his hands full with Ultron, the Mandarin and such.
Rob: The moon is already pretty busy in the MU. Uatu wouldn't like it when Garguax and his Plastic Men drop by to borrow a cup of sugar.
Rob: Superman's going to love it when he sees Ultron. "Great, another fucking big smart robot."
Rob: That's right, Superman swears in the Marvel Universe.
John: Well, how about this: You want the Joker? I want the Kingpin and Bullseye.
Rob: Bullesye you can have. I don't know about the Kingpin. I gotta have one bald guy running the city if I can't have Luthor.
John: I will throw in Harley Quinn.
Rob: The price goes down if you include Harley Quinn.
Rob: Goes up, I mean.
Rob: Whatever, I'm confused now.
John: Me too. So what do you want for Bullseye. He alone doesn't equal the Joker.
Rob: Tell you what, you can have the Kingpin and Bulleye. I'll take the Joker.
John: It's a deal. I feel there are no more Batman and Joker stories I can tell.
John: Bruce Wayne will be able to sleep at night once and a while.
Rob: That's what I was thinking. I didn't know why the hell you wanted to hold onto him.
John: Because it's hard to let go of the past sometimes.
Rob: Understandable. Did we ever get anywhere on the Vandal Savage negotiations?
John: No we did not. I don't think Vandal Savage for Captain America is a bad deal, but how can we sweeten it?
John: Would you like some Teen Titans ?
John: Or New Titans. Whatever.
Rob: I'll do Vandal for Cap. I don't want to use Cap anyway.
John: Excellent
John: I have an amazing Captain America story to tell. Cap, alone, on Apokalips, fighting for survival and to bring freedom to the Hunger Dogs.
John: Captain America , the ultimate soldier vs. the ultimate galactic despot, Darkseid.
John: Please note that I would love to get rid of some of these fucking Titans, Outsiders, and Robins.
John: One thing I want to correct in this new DCU is a redefinition of my main Icon, Wonder Woman . Batman remains what he always meant to the DCU, but Wonder Woman needs to be boosted. Ever since Kingdom Come , Alex Ross's vision of a stern and haughty Amazon has taken root, and that is not who Wonder Woman is to me. Alex Ross's Wonder Woman is the Martha Stewart of the DCU. No more. I say Wonder Woman is the Buffy Summers of the DCU, and I mean that as a compliment. Buffy is a true hero, the chosen one, and so is Diana of Themysicira. Wonder Woman was carved in clay and given powers by the gods to save mankind and show us the way of peace, by love or by strength if need be. That is who Wonder Woman , the new preeminent Icon of the DC Universe, is.
John: The Batman meanwhile has new challenges, new enemies, specifically his greatest single adversary, Lex Luthor. I always wanted to see these two billionaires wage war on each other.
John: Batman is out of the Justice League because he has more than enough problems. The new benefactor of the JLA is Tony Stark, Iron Man.
Rob: I would've loved Luthor in the Marvel Universe. He would've been great to set against Spider-Man .
John: Give up Thanos or Magneto and he's yours.
John: Come on. Lex Luthor. There's only one like him.
John: Lex Luthor. The greatest criminal mind of our time!
Rob: Sorry, can't part with either. And now that I have Superman, my desire for Luthor is lessened.
John: Anything else you want to trade while we still have time?
Rob: I still would like to take one hot woman out of the DCU.
Rob: Ra's al Ghul appeals to me too.
John: I want J'onn J'onzz back. I will trade you R'as Al-Ghul and Power Girl for the Martian Manhunter.
Rob: Not enough. I love J'onn J'onzz. I have plans for him.
John: Not even if I throw in Supergirl and Maxima and Black Canary?
Rob: I don't know, man. I really want to keep him.
John: Fair enough. Well, then if there is no futher business to conduct, I believe this draft is over.
Rob: I suppose it is. Now I have to lay out what I'll do with these guys.
John: Me too. I already have some plans. Wolverine will take his place as a member of the JLA, solidifying his status as an Icon. Jean Grey will join him, as she is now the second most important woman in the DC Universe.
Rob: They're letting stinkin' muties in the JLA now? There goes the neighborhood.
John: It's a new day in the DCU. The JLA has never had a telepath or a wildcard like Logan .
John: Wolverine takes Batman's place.
Rob: Do they all turn to him for a plan when Darkseid attacks?
John: Well, this new JLA will now actually perform killing combat when it has to. Wonder Woman has that edge to her.
John: A dark day has dawned in the DCU.
John: Dr. Doom will be an interesting new threat to the Justice League .
John: Justice League International as it is again known. Bigger, bolder, badder. I'm bringing it all back, the UN, embassies, the works.
Rob: I'm planning on revamping the mystical side of the Marvel universe. Dr Fate and John Constantine will interact with Dr Strange and face off against threats against our plane of existence. But gone will be the days when Mephisto would just show up at Four Freedoms Plaza and show off his power. Things are going to be more subtle now.
Rob: Relocating Constantine to New York is kind of lame, but what are you gonna do?
John: That's good. Marvel magic was pretty gay.
Rob: It is, but when you think about it, a lot of the guys in Books of Magic and things like that are pretty gay too. It took muted paints and a more somber approach to make some of the ham'n'eggers seem respectable.
Rob: I was considering drafting the Phantom Stranger and the Spectre, but I decided to rehabilitate some of the guys that already exist.
The next day:
Rob: How are your plans for your new DC Universe coming along?
John: Super. After the JLA helps Captain America get off Apokalips, I was thinking he and Wonder Woman would be a great fit. Steve Rogers over Steve Trevor is a trade up.
Rob: Oh, I'd say so. Cap's a great guy. I'd keep him around, but I really wanted Superman to be the front and center icon of the Avengers.
John: Also, I think Dr. Doom will somehow annex Themyscira, despite the fact that Latveria is an Eastern European nation and Paradise Island is in the middle of the ocean. Imagine Doombots storming the island and bringing the Amazons to their knees.
Rob: I meant to ask that. Do you get all of Latveria by drafting Doom? I guess I don't really have a problem with that.
John: What is Latveria without Doom?
John: I could have him conquer Bialya but Doom doesn't belong in some stinkin' Middle Eastern sandpit.
John: Batman is really going to have a hard time with all the new blood in Gotham. The Kingpin of Crime is taking over the underworld. And there will finally be that Kingpin-Penguin gang war we postulated a while back. Meanwhile, Punisher is going to kill Egghead and King Tut, and someone (Lex Luthor) sent Elektra after Catwoman and Bullseye after Robin, drawing Batman into a war that must be waged on many sides at once. Life in Gotham City just got ten times worse.
John: I was thinking of starting a strange love affair between Mary Marvel and ol' Benjamin J. Grimm.
John: And for some reason, I thought Jean Grey might be an interesting love match for Wally West.
John: Despite her budding relationship with Captain America , Wonder Woman sometimes finds Wolverine's gruff charms difficult to ignore.
Rob: Everyone always loves Wolverine. That's funny. So the Punisher's in Gotham?
John: He thinks Two-Face killed his family. Actually, Lex Luthor made the call. The Punisher will get in the middle of the war between Batman and Luthor with his own blood vendetta. This will draw Batman as Punisher's enemy because of the Punisher's murderous intent. It's a tremendously interesting three way dance.
John: I thought it would kind of cool too if Darkseid boom tubed Mary Marvel to Apokalips as a bride for Kalibak, and The Thing and the JLA give chase. And that's how they find Captain America .
John: I have lots of stories, mostly about heroes and villains getting laid or trying to get laid.
John: You know what I forgot to do? Draft or trade for J. Jonah Jameson to run the Daily Planet. Oh well.
Rob: I haven't figured out everything I want to do. I know I want Jesse Quick to join the Fantastic Four. Superman will lead the JLA, and Dr Fate's going to join. That frees up Dr Strange to hang out with John Constantine and be more mystical than superhero-y.
John: Superman ain't leading the JLA.
Rob: Avengers. Whatever.
John: I'll sue you.
Rob: I'm thinking of putting Captain Marvel with Rick Jones. Just seems right.
Rob: Do you want to do a late trade for Jonah?
Rob: In sports, after the trading deadline, you can put guys on waivers for a week. If no other team claims them, then you can trade them.
John: Who do you want for JJJ?
Rob: The Spectre.
Rob: They're practically the same character, right?
John: That's funny. Hal Jordan Spectre or Jim Corrigan Spectre?
Rob: Jim Corrigan.
John: Without Dr. Fate and John Constantine, my magical universe is hit pretty hard already.
Rob: I suppose. But were you planning on doing much with the Spectre. I'll throw in the Dread Dormamu and Dr Druid if you want.
John: I barely know who those two are.
Rob: They're great. You want them.
John: I don't think I do.
John: But, perhaps I might be willing to part with the Spectre.
John: For JJJ and Ghost Rider .
Rob: That works.
Rob: Are you sure you don't want the Dread Dormammu?
John: Pretty sure.
Rob: Fair enough.
John: What do you want for Fin Fang Foom?
Rob: Hmm, I'm not sure what else I want from DC. I'm sure there's someone I'm not thinking about though.
John: The DC Universe is rich in characters. We're the Original Universe. We are busting at the seams with icons.
Rob: Deathstroke?
John: Interesting. Are you proposing Deathstroke for Fin Fang Foom or someone else?
Rob: I think that's fair straight up.
John: Well, I don't think I need Deathstroke. I do need a big crazy talking dragon. You're on!
Rob: It's too bad I already traded you the New Warriors. We should've traded Firestar for Starfire.
Rob: I would still like Starfire though.
John: I never thought of that. What will you offer me for Princess Korian'dr of Tamaran?
Rob: Hmm. You want Thor? Big thunder god with wings on his head?
John: I thought about him, but no.
John: Wonder Woman and her Greek myths is enough. Don't need Norse gods mucking things up.
John: Oh, I have a trade for Starfire.
Rob: Hmm, I'm trying to think.
John: Cloak and Dagger for Starfire. I'll throw in any other New Titan as well. Troia? Terra?
John: Raven? Changeling? Cyborg? Arsenal?
John: I really hate them.
John: How about Impulse?
Rob: I'll take Starfire and Raven for Cloak and Dagger.
John: It's a deal.
Rob: Excellent. I think we should set an absolute trading deadline fairly soon though.
John: I agree how about 12 noon ET. Not much time left.
John: I have to say I'm loving my new DCU.
John: I might actually split the JLA. Have Captain America lead the JLA while Wonder Woman leads the JLI. Cap's JLA is actually Max Lord's old JLA. Beetle and Booster will give Cap headaches.
John: I do want Sentinels. What can I offer you for giant mutant killing robots?
Rob: I don't think I can give those up.
John: I don't blame you. I'll just use the Manhunters in that spot, obviously.
Rob: I'm trying to think if I can make any of my acquisitions mutants.
Rob: What do you want for Vril Dox?
John: Gee, I don't know. Dox...
John: How about Hank McCoy, the Beast?
Rob: That's fine.
Rob: My X-Men are hurting. They're going to be even more hurting when Max Lord recruits some of them away for his all new X-Factor.
John: I was going to ask for Storm, but I didn't want to irrepairably cripple your X-Men .
John: I can afford to lose Dox. The Beast is a brilliant scientist himself. And I think it's time John Stewart stepped up to lead L.E.G.I.O.N. Split Stewart's loyalities between his clients from L.E.G.I.O.N. and the Guardians and the Green Lantern Corps.
John: I made it a point though take a piece of each of Marvel's superteams. I took something from the FF, Avengers and X-Men .
Rob: I don't think I'm going to have Dox start a new LEGION in the MU, but I want him to be a player. He'll butt heads with Adam Warlock.
John: Now that Superman is gone, The Flash and Green Lantern are really gonna have to step up. They have to carry the ball more.
Rob: How are you going to handle them suddenly being in the DCU? Are you going to say they came from another world, or are you just going to say they were always there.
John: I'm not going to acknowledge it. They're there, no explanations. Things just move forward. Maybe in time certain people will have flashes, memories of how it used to be.
Rob: Not me. This is how it's always been, and no one will ever, ever remember anything different.
John: What do you want for Luke Cage?
Rob: Hmm. A good mid-level Spider-Man villian.
John: Take your pick, I've got a million of 'em.
John: How about someone like the Cheetah?
John: Star Sapphire?
John: Metallo, the Man with the Kryptonite Heart?!
John: Glorious Godfrey? Dr. Verman Vundabarr?
John: Didn't DC run into this very problems years ago when they realized they didn't have enough villains, so they powered a bunch of them up?
Rob: Ooh, I know who I want. Major Disaster.
John: Fine with me. Luke Cage for Major Disaster.
Rob: What do you want for the Rainbow Raider?
Rob: Professor X? The Hulk? Spider-Man ?
John: The only thing left I want from the Marvel Universe is Shadowcat. And Hulk. Those two for Rainbow Raider.
Rob: How about just Shadowcat?
John: Shadowcat for Rainbow Raider it is.
Rob: Excellent. He'll give Spidey fits with his multichormatic mischief.
John: Okay, great. Luke Cage and Shadowcat. They're going to be the lynchpin of the all new Outsiders. I'm gonna assemble a team with some old Outsiders and Titans, and then the rest I'll turn heel or kill outright. They will be a rogue team on the road, righting wrongs all around the world.
John: Meanwhile, the New Warriors will make Metropolis their home.
Rob: Someone's gotta keep an eye on Intergang.
John: That someone is Night Thrasher.
John: Look at the new Outsiders: Luke Cage, Shadowcat, Black Lightning, Cyborg, Terra, Mirage, and Nightrider the vampire.
John: No one has ever seen three black guys in a superhero team before.
Rob: Not since Milestone, anyway.
John: Plus Night Thrasher is black and he leads the Warriors. The brothers are representin' in my DCU.
Rob: Did I take any black characters from DC?
Rob: Starfire's orange, that's about as close as I got.
John: Dox is green.
Rob: That's true. I don't know why, but I have this impulse to send everyone after the Hulk. Superman, Captain Marvel, Lobo, and Etrigan are all going to have to fight the Hulk. In the Marvel Universe, you haven't earned your stripes until you've fought the Hulk and teamed up with Spider-Man .
John: For some reason, I think Nightwing might be the only man in Gotham the Punisher can grudgingly call a friend.
Rob: Batman's not going to like the Punisher much.
John: Batman doesn't like any of this.
Rob: In my universe, there is going to be one person who is aware of what's happened. The Spectre will know, but his curse is that he won't tell anyone because he's embarrassed that he got traded for J. Jonah Jameson.
John: The Spectre is lucky I didn't ask for Aunt May.
John: Well, it's after 12pm ET, and thus the trades are concluded. I've updated the tally sheet.
Rob: Excellent. Hopefully I'll have time to work some things out.
John: Ooh, you know what, I think Elektra will play both Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. Sleep with both of them and jerk them around.
John: Maybe she'll do Alfred too. Drive a wedge right in the heart of the Batcave.
John: See, these are great ideas comics will never do!
Rob: Hamstrung as they are by not having the rights to characters they don't own.
John: According to the tally 28 Marvel characters were traded to the DCU, while 25 DC went to Marvel. Pretty substantial.
Rob: I can't believe you didn't ask for a single Elder of the Universe.
Rob: Superman's going to regret coming to the Marvel Universe. He's going to be the go-to guy for all their major problems. "Galactus is coming, call Superman." "Magneto's threatening to kill all humans again, call Superman." "Thanos is doing something, and it doesn't look good. Call Superman." He's going to miss Bizarro and the Silver Banshee.
John: Well, at least he doesn't have J. Jonah Jameson writing bad headlines about him.
Rob: I'm going to put out a book called Superman vs. The Hulk. The two of them fight, every month.
John: I'm going to put out a childrens' book called Where's the Doombot? You'll have to spot the Doombot in a crowd. In some pages, in a crowd of Doombots.
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