|
|
Nerd Alert!
June 28, 2007
Sinestro Corps
Today, I found out about the Sinestro Corps. Read all about it. Sinestro, arch enemy of Green Lantern, has formed his own army of alien super villains, equipped with fancy black and yellow spandex and yellow Power Rings and batteries. (I do like their logo; Sinestro must have stayed up all night doodling to come up with it.) Apparently, there's an even bigger dealio where they bust out the Universe's Most Wanted from their "sciencells" on Green Lantern HQ, the planet Oa. Joining the Sinestro Corps are DC Comics' evilest of evil: the Cyborg Superman Hank Henshaw, Superboy Prime, and ...the Anti-Monitor. My head hurts.
The Anti-Monitor joining the Sinestro Corps didn't make any sense. Why would the Anti-Monitor want, accept, or need a Power Ring?
Rob says: "
I'm sure it's now clear to the Anti-Monitor that he would have been able to destroy the postive matter multiverse if only he had been able to smack it with a giant yellow fist."
I later learned that
the reveal behind the Anti-Monitor is that he serves the purpose the Guardians serve for the Green Lantern Corps. He's the guy who runs the Sinestro Corps. Now, how did they come to that arrangement? Did he and Sinestro sit down and negotiate terms?:
Anti-Monitor: "Let's get this straight. I'm the guy in charge."
Sinestro: "Howzat? This is my Corps. It's called the Sinestro Corps. I'm Sinestro. That would indicate I'm in charge."
Anti-Monitor: "I'm the Goddamn Anti-Monitor. I'm in charge."
Sinestro: "That's pretty lame. If the Corps is named after me, I think I ought to be the guy running the show."
Anti-Monitor: "The Green Lantern Corps isn't called the Guardians of the Universe Corps, is it?"
Sinestro: "I suppose not."
Anti-Monitor: "You also realize I'm way, way more powerful than you. I could destroy you with but a thought and no yellow force field or yellow boxing glove could stop me."
Sinestro: "The boxing glove is really more Jordan's thing..."
Anti-Monitor: "Whatever. The point is for some reason I feel like having an army of space criminals with yellow magic rings will serve my life's purpose of destroying all positive matter in the multiverse and replacing it with anti-matter, the best thing ever."
Sinestro: "The what now? Did you say 'multiverse'?"
Anti-Monitor: "No, I didn't."
Sinestro: "I thought I heard..."
Anti-Monitor: "You heard wrong. This meeting is over. I'm dismissing you, which I can do since I'm in charge. Get out of here, go attack Oa or Earth or something."
Sinestro: "Fine. I'm out."
Anti-Monitor: "Before you go, how many Ls in Parallax?"
Sinestro: "Two."
Anti-Monitor: "As I thought. What a stupid supervillain name."
Sinestro: "We all kind of have stupid names. You're the "Anti"-Monitor, which presupposes that there is a Monitor for you to be the negative version of, although he's been dead for years, or decades, however you wanna look at it. "Superboy Prime"? What the hell does that even mean? Is he grade A meat? Don't answer that! And me, "Sinestro?" I trained Hal Jordan and my name is an offshoot of "sinister" in his language and incidentally mine. How shocking that I turned out evil. You'd think the Guardians would have picked up on that."
Anti-Monitor: "Bored now. This has gone on far too long."
Sinestro: "For once, we agree."
The two dumbest things about the Sinestro Corps as found in Wikipedia:
"When recharging their power rings, members of the Sinestro Corps recite the following oath:
In blackest day, in brightest night,
Beware your fears made into light
Let those who try to stop what's right,
Burn like my power... Sinestro's might!"
I don't think I'll be memorizing that. And yes, I know the Green Lantern version by heart. I learned it when I was 7.
And the dumbest thing:
"Recently, the Sinestro Corps attempted to recruit Batman..."
Offfff course, they did.
"...known even to some alien races for his great formidability and ability of instilling great fear in others. However, Batman's willpower combined with his previous brief exposure to a power ring allowed him to reject the yellow ring before it took him to be properly trained and molded into one of Sinestro's warriors."
Ugh. This is why this is stupid: Why is Batman scary to human criminals? Because he's dressed like a bat. What's a bat? A nocturnal Earth creature of some superstition for humans. Are aliens scared of bats? Do they know what a bat is? Unlikely. So why would they be scared of Batman?
But you know what, let's play along from the alien recruiter point of view -- Why does Batman insist on remaining in Gotham City? Can't he see he belongs out there, in space, be it in a Watchtower on the moon or soaring through the infinite spaceways striking fear into the suspicious and cowardly lot of alien criminals found in the universe? Talk about a waste of potential. Bruce Wayne thinks too small.
Comics can be so stupid.
Still, I'll totally read Sinestro Corps when it's collected.
|
