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Nerd Alert!
SEASON TWO
December 3, 2007
"Powerless"
Lackluster as this (half a) season of Heroes was, I generally found this finale to be more entertaining than last year's.
The LOL moment was when Sylar shot Maya. I mean, I was practically ROTFL. The moment was ruined of course when they brought her back immediately with Claire's magic "healing blood", but for a few seconds, I thought it was a hilarious fuck you to the last Wonder Twin standing and a more vicious do-away-with than Nikki and Paulo got on Lost. But alas, Maya lives. She might turn out to be a decent character one day if she stops being a dope. But then, I could say the same for nearly the entire Heroes roster.
The other LOL moment was poor Nathan Petrelli having to fly fat Parkman on his back all the way to Texas. Yes, let's never speak of that again.
I also liked Claire's kiss off to West. "Here's your file." OOOH! DUMPED! So long, flyboy. Don't let a tree branch hit your ass on the up, up and away.
How the HELL did Elle get from LA to NY so fast? I want to see these Company jets one day, damn it.
It was neat seeing him cut loose but it highlighted the fact that Peter is way too powerful. And way too much of a gullible dope to be so powerful. So what happened to Caitlin in the future? If he prevented the virus future from happening, is Caitlin dead?
Hiro buring Adam alive was cold. I didn't think he had it in him.
Of course, the old Sylar's back. Sylar's evilosity is overrated. The black dude who kidnapped Monica and then tried to set her on fire was evil. Setting the comic book on fire was mean, man. The pistol whipping he took from Niki was amusing.
Homer Simpson: Mmm, pistol whip.
Alas, Niki Sanders we hardly knew ye. Actually we knew ye very well, a couple of ye's, and we never liked any of ye very much.
What a cliff hanger: Who shot Nathan Petrelli?! Oh, it was the Company.
See you in '08. Sometime.
November 26, 2007
"Truth and Consequences"
Last week's Heroes was pretty decent as Heroes goes. Generally went right back down the crapper this week.
I wonder if Sylar ever asks himself how in the hell he ended up in the middle of a telenovela. "Maya, the Woman of a Thousand Black Tears."
I take it Victoria Pratt was the Company's version of Mohinder, the non-powered scientist of the old guard.
Sylar and Maya got from a motel in North Carolina to Mohinder and Matt's apartment in a day without anyone coming after them for the corpse of Alejandro in Sylar's motel room. Sure.
The New Orleans stuff really sucks. "Oh, so that's why Clark Kent wears those glasses!" Jesus.
There's homage and then there's outright ripping shit off. You can argue last year's main storyline was an homage to Watchmen. Adam Monroe as a 400 year old Immortal can only die if his head is cut off is ripping shit off.
I liked one armed Elle fucking up her watchdog duty and trying to start her car with her left arm. We're probably not getting the Claire vs. Elle throwdown this season but a Heroes Divas match is long overdue and these are the two the people wanna see go at it.
Next week two Heroes fall. One of them might be Nathan Petrelli, who hasn't been around much at all. Or it might be West. Or Adam. (It won't be Claire.) Don't need two of the same power on the show forever.
I'm glad this season is almost over.
November 12, 2007
"Four Months Ago"
This should have been the first episode of the season.
Everything was cool with me except for more of Mohinder's pointless voice over droning and the death of DL. Big, typical Heroes plot hole with how he found Niki in LA and the non-explanation ("You ain't never gettin' rid of me."), followed by the fatal gunshot by the nameless, greasy dude. DL will phase when someone throws a punch at him but for whatever reason, he didn't phase when a gun was stuck to his torso. Sure. Whatever. I never liked DL much but that was a crappy way to kill him off.
Also, if that's how Peter ended up in that box in Ireland, where did the little box with Peter's ID come from and how'd it end up in the hands of the dead Irish gangsters?
And, Peter and Adam escaped from the Company facility "one month ago." Then "three weeks ago" they healed Nathan. Where ever the facility was, it took them a week to get to New York? Could Peter not fly? Did he forget he could? If so, how did he know he could phase through a wall? Wouldn't Adam have mentioned flight if he mentioned phasing? Or did they just take the scenic route to New York?
But who cares, because this was all about Elle for me. Her short but sweet backstory told to Peter was a million times better than all the hackneyed, redundant scenes of Maya's eyes tearing up black put together.
Elle being all touchy feely with Peter gave me a whole different kind of tingle.
Next week, finally: Elle meets Claire. I'm there.
And now, a Head to Head email debate with Sean:
Head to Head
From: Sean
To: John
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2007 8:33:35 AM
Subject: Re: Four Months Ago
I HATED four months ago. First, I agree with your assessment of the death of DL. I had assumed he died a hero from the wounds inflicted in saving his family from Linderman. Instead, he survived that only to die a big bitch when a random dude stuck a gun right on his chest and he didn't phase through the bullet? Bullshit. Second, knowing the Wonder Twins' origin made me even less interested in them. I hate every scene with them so much. Third, you wanna talk plot holes, how did Elle and Bob just happen to be at the hospital Peter flew Nathan to after he went nuclear? How many hospitals are there in NY anyway? And how did they just happen to be in a room at the exact point where Peter, for no good reason, went visible again? And the brilliant Company then sticks Peter in a cell where he can communicate with the one guy who can explain everything to him, get him to stop taking his meds and stage a break out? Unless Adam is actually working with Bob, or Bob wanted Adam and Peter to break out (both of which seem unlikely) that makes zero sense.
This episode was supposed to be about solving mysteries. Besides finding out how Peter wound up shirtless in a crate in Ireland with no memory, it didn't answer a single question I actually cared about. Instead, it just raised a new one: how the hell did Nathan grow that big as mountain man beard in just 3 weeks? I know a little something about grown beards, and that just don't happen. Plus, no Claire, HRG or Hiro (my 3 favorite characters on the show) this week. The whole episode was Peter in a cell, Nathan in a bed, and The Fantastic Four -1 trying to be a family. Boring. Yeah, sure, Elle is great, but she hardly compensates for the rest of the crap. Last week they finally made forward progress with the big story. I would have been much happier if this week built on that momentum instead of telling me about a past I don't care about. In other words, Tim Kring, I'm waiting for another apology.
The Nightmare Man
From: John
To: Sean
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2007 10:39:30 AM
Subject: Re: Four Months Ago
It doesn't matter how many hospitals there are in New York because no matter who you are, you only regularly visit one hospital whereever you live. The Petrelli family would only go to that one specific hospital where their doctor is so that's where Peter brought Nathan. That sure as hell doesn't explain how Bob and Elle would be there the very moment Peter arrived with Nathan, nor would that explain why Niki would bring DL to that same hospital. (Unless it's a different hospital and Bob just magically knew where they went also. Maybe Bob's power is teleporting to hospitals. I should say his second power, his first is being a douchebag, same as everyone else on the show.)
Claire doesn't need any further explanation as to how or why her father took her to California. Hiro is also self-explanatory: he traveled through time and bored everyone for 7 weeks. How'd Candice get Sylar out of the sewer and into Mexico or where ever they were? Who cares.
My point is, I like Elle. A hot, horny, blonde, little sociopathic lightning thrower, something television has been lacking since the medium's inception. With Elle, I finally have a Heroes character I like (If Claire weren't hot I wouldn't care, I haven't given a damn about Hiro since he couldn't save that hot little waitress, and Noah Bennet can be okay sometimes but I don't really care about him either way). I think I was also pleased that basically "Four Months Ago" centered around the characters I drafted in the Heroes brand extension, and thus I saw that if I did a show with just those characters, it would work. And though I had to hear more pointless Mohinder voice over, no Mohinder or Matt Parkman is a big plus.
Despite all that, I'm not some Heroes apologist.
Tim Kring
October 23, 2007
"Fight or Flight"
It's a little frustrating to watch Kristen Bell play a character dumber-written than Veronica Mars was.
First the shaggy Castro beard, now Nathan Petrelli has the best big pompadour hairstyle this side of William Regal.
Nathan vs. Burnt Nathan was pretty good, but I liked it better the first time, in Superman III.
The double dutch scene, especially the black girl saying "You WANT somethin'?!" (oh Lord), was one of the stupidest in the history of television, only marginally redeemed by Monica copying Bruce Lee's moves. If Monica mentions what a "hard couple of years she's had" one more time... (We get it, you were in Katrina.)
A question about Monica's power: When she copies something, does she retain the information or is it a momentary thing and she loses whatever physical trait she picks up after time? Wonder how long it'll take the writers to address that? Answer: Probably never. (See: "How exactly do Niki/Jessica's powers work?")
When Parkman is busy looking for his daddy and Mohinder is off working for Bob and then jetting to New Orleans to find Monica, who's watching Molly? They are totally unfit parents.
When Kristen Bell and Hayden Panetierre have scenes together in a couple of weeks, I expect I'll be too distracted to complain.
October 8, 2007
"Kindred"
George Takei, Nichelle Nichols. So every living member of the original Star Trek cast has to be the parent of one of the Heroes. I suppose it's possible then for Leonard Nimoy to appear if not as Sylar's father then as his grandfather, which would be more believable considering their ages. Maybe when they have to promote the Star Trek movie next Christmas. I can't imagine it would be too hard to get Shatner to show up as Matt Parkman's father. Or Walter Koening as Niki's father.
Cop or no cop, there is no way child services would allow Molly to live with Matt Parkman and Mohinder in a crappy Brooklyn apartment whose previous occupant was murdered.
How come when Peter used his healing powers after Dominic (I'm Star Trek too!) Keating shot him, his powers spit the bullets out before healing him but when Kensei healed, the arrowhead remained inside him?
If Flying Emo Boy's grand plan all along was to get Claire up in the sky for a romantic flight a la Superman and Lois Lane, did he have to be such a sneaky, stalkerish dick about it?
Most awkward product placement easily goes to the guy in jail that broke out with Maya and her brother. "Take me with you! I have a car! It's a brand new Nissan Rogue. Get yours today at any Nissan dealer."
Oh, for a bunch of Irishmen, when it came time after the heist for the crew holding Peter to celebrate with pints of Guinness, they drank it all wrong. Any real Irishman would tell you (as they told me) you don't sip Guinness like wussies, you tilt your head back, close your eyes, and drink it deeply with relish and appreciation.
The laugh out loud moment for me was when Mohinder showed up at Issac's apartment and had no idea he's been dead for this long. If Mohinder only knew how long Issac's corpse was rotting on the floor of the loft.
DL Hawkins, we hardly knew ye. Aw, who cares?
September 26, 2007
"Four Months Later..."
Heroes picked up right back where they left off last season, by blowing. They're consistent, though, and that's something.
I do love drunk Nathan Petrelli and his bushy Castro beard.
I didn't like how modern everyone in 1600's Japan looked, right down to Kenzei's short, 2007 haircut. Attention to detail for a period setting wasn't on anyone's list of priorities.
The Bennett/Butler family dynamic still doesn't make sense. The son is useless as a character. The mom eating at the table and making out with the dog is disgusting. And wasn't all their stuff blown up with their house last season? Seems like they got a nice new house and all the fine furnishings all on Noah Bennett's Copy Kingdom salary.
I was amused by Molly yelling at Matt Parkman. The fat cop got pwned by the little girl. Hey, what happened with Parkman's wife? Was she written out before the finale last season? I wasn't paying attention.
The weakest example of chickenshit writing in the episode was when Claire was playing badminton and said she was going to go find the "birdy thingie." Come on, Tim Kring, I think I speak for your largely male audience that we all would have enjoyed hearing Hayden Panetierre say the word "shuttlecock" on NBC prime time.
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