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February 5, 2005SHOULD HE STAY OR SHOULD HE GO?John: Triple H did indeed welcome his number one contender Batista with open arms. And why shouldn't he? Batista is now a Royal Rumble winner just like Triple H and Ric Flair are. Evolution can't lose at WrestleMania. Regardless who wins against Triple H and Batista, the World Title will stay within Evolution. Triple H couldn't say enough good things Batista.
Batista: Triple H, I loooved hearing all the things
you think about me. Now let me tell you what I think about you. Jeff: I like Triple H's Plan A so far. Batista's clearly not a team player, but kicking him out of Evolution outright would just make the big man want to kill him. If he can get Dave to leave on his own accord, Triple H can still pretend they're friends and maybe go halfsies on a plate of nachos when they happen to see each other at one of the big four pay per views. EIGHT IS ENOUGHJohn: Theodore R. Long has been making some big plans for SmackDown!'s
main event at WrestleMania. While JBL has to face the Big Show in
a barbed wire steel cage at No Way Out, eight men will be competing
over the next several weeks to determine who the number one contender
at WrestleMania will be. In addition, if Batista decides to come
to SmackDown!, then the main event of WrestleMania will be a triple
threat match between the winner of JBL vs. Big Show, the winner
of the tournament and Batista. That doesn't sound very good. Jeff: So you're thinking the Taker will just forget all about getting fucked over by Angle and leave him alone next week? The best Angle can hope for is if the referee happens to see him get chokeslammed in his match with Rey Rey and he wins by disqualification. That's if he can survive the superkick he'll be eating earlier in the night.
A GOD AMONG MENJohn: Maybe it was the cases of champagne he drank at the Royal
Rumble after retaining against the Big Show and Kurt Angle, but
JBL has come to the conclusion that he is a Wrestling God. I can
see where he's coming from. JBL has beaten everyone they've put
in front of him. He's unstoppable. He's the Wrestling God. JBL is
fantastic. I'm probably not worthy to join his Cabinet, but I'd
be glad to be his disciple. Hollywood Hogan: What do you mean "demanded," dude? That little sneaky Jap Mr. Fuji put out an open challenge and I showed everyone the power of Hulkamania, brother! Jeff: Yeah, but you really didn't need that belt. You were taking off for three months to make another one of your crappy movies. Hollywood Hogan: Leave my crappy movies out of this, brother! If I didn't take my belt with me, who knows what would have happened to it while I was gone? Jeff: Good point. HIS HEAD HURTSJohn: Randy Orton's bell's been ringing. Orton suffered a concussion
at the Royal Rumble en route to losing his World Title match against
Triple H. He insists he's all right, but he got knocked loopy again
the next night on RAW. Randy's really fine; these are storyline
concussions to either draw sympathy for him or give him some sort
of personality quirk. If I may throw in my two cents, the answer
to what happens to Randy Orton because of these concussions can
be found in the old Batman TV show. Arch criminal King Tut was a
mild mannered museum curator but every time he got hit in the head,
he thought he was King Tut and became a super villain. That's what
should happen to Randy. Whenever he gets hit in the head, he should
think he's King
Tut. RAGE IN THE CAGEJohn: Kane and Gene Snitsky had the mother of all cage matches on RAW, a plodding, excruciating, unwatchable affair, the bright spot of which was when it was finally over. Earlier on RAW, Snitsky creeped the Divas out by hanging out in the Women's locker room because he was "looking for someone." Turns out that someone was Trish Stratus, who made an appearance during the match looking to get revenge on Kane for putting her in a neckbrace. Didn't work out so well for her as she was nearly chokeslammed again for her efforts. Trish should know better than to associate with Kane in any way. Nothing good happens to anyone who gets involved with Kane.
John: Snitsky ripped the cage door off its hinges and ended up having his balls dropped on it before Kane chokeslammed him on the door for the win. Sweet Heaven, let this be over. I can live with them going at it again at WrestleMania 21 since the Undertaker will be there to carry the match, but please, please keep these two away from each other for a few weeks. Jeff: I didn't think their cage match was nearly as bad as all their previous matches. It certainly wasn't good, or anything that could reasonably be confused with good, but maybe those two are working better with each other now that they've had a thousand horrible matches over the last few months. Give them another two, three years and I might not feel ill when I hear Snitsky's music. CARLITO'S WAYJohn: Carlito Caribbean Cool confronted Theodore R. Long in his
office and told Long that he wasn't going to Japan for the first-ever
SmackDown! live from Japan. Instead, thanks to the petition that
Carlito has been working on for weeks, Long has a meeting with the
WWE Board of Directors to defend his job. No doubt that it was WWE
Champion JBL's signature on the petition that really gave it credence.
Carlito Caribbean Cool: Carlito start a petition to save Star Trek: Enterprise? That's definitely not cool. HALL OF FAME NUMBER ONE! NOT HALL OF FAME, HACH PTOOEY!John: Several inductees to the Hall of Fame Class of 2005 were
announced and I'm overjoyed. This year, WWE will be inducting the
Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff, Cowboy
Bob Orton, and Jimmy Hart. I love every single one of those guys
and they are all major reasons why the old WWF became as big as
it was in the 1980's. It's nice when the Hall of Fame honors guys
like Harley Race who achieved their greatest fame outside the company,
but there are plenty of bona fide WWE legends who deserve recognition
and these guys are excellent choices. But you know something, brothers,
if they want to make the Hall of Fame super duper special, there's
one name they have to induct. Jeff: You have to be retired to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Given the choice between having Hogan inducted into a physically non-existent Hall of Fame and there still being a chance of his coming back, I'll take the latter every time. But even though you have to be retired to be inducted, apparently you don't have to have been all that good. The Iron Sheik definitely deserves it, Mr. Wonderful as well, and even Jimmy Hart has a pretty good case, but Volkoff is borderline and Orton doesn't really belong. If they're going to insist on sticking anyone who ever appeared in a main event in the Hall of Fame, there's going to be a lot of ham and eggers in there if they finally build the place. Koko B. Ware: I can't wait. It's been tough putting food on my
plate recently. The saddest day of my life was the one when I had
to eat Frankie. But getting into the Hall of Fame, man, that would
remind me what it's like to be happy again.
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