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A Quick Summary of Das
Rheingold
Scene 1 Troll: Hey baby, can’t I just get next to you? Nymphs: No way, dude, we want nothing to do with you. In fact, you can never, ever have love at all, because you’re an ugly troll. Troll: So, what’s with this gold you’re worshipping? Nymphs: That’s the Rheingold. It can be forged into a ring that will give you ultimate power. But the ring can only be forged by one who renounces all love forev- shit. Troll takes gold. Scene 2 Giants: Wotan, for building your fortress, we demand the payment we agreed upon, your sister Freia! Wotan: No. Giants: Wotan, we want Freia. Wotan: Well, all right. Freia: Wotan, get her out of this! Wotan: It’s all right, I told Loge to find a way around this. What have you figured out Loge? Loge: Well, let me see. You had the giants build you a castle, and in return, you promised them Freia? Wotan: Correct. Loge: You didn’t leave me a lot of room to work with here. All right, Giants, how about some troll gold instead of Freia? Giants: Yeah, that works.
Troll: The nymphs said that the ring would help me rule the world. But I only use it to make other trolls collect gold. It is unclear whether this is due to my lack of vision or an inconsistency within the plot. Wotan: Nice ring. Troll: You like this ring, you should see my helmet. I can change shape with it. Loge: You ever read fairy tales? Troll: Um, no. Loge: Great. Okay, I’m goading you into proving your shape changing prowess by turning into something small. Troll: Here, I am a toad! Loge: What you are is boned. Wotan, grab him. Scene 4 Wotan: All right, hand over all your gold. Troll: That’s fine, you can have all my gold. As long as I have the ring, I can get more gold! All the gold I want! Wotan: Hand over the ring too. Troll: Crap. Well, I’m cursing the ring then. Giants: Do you have the gold? Wotan: Here you go. Giants: We’d like the ring too. Wotan: Crap. Giant #1: I want the ring. Giant #2: What you want is a club on your external occipital protuberance. Now the ring is mine, and I’m going to wander off, I guess. Wotan: Well, all’s well that ends well. Loge: But the nymphs still don’t have their Rheingold. The End
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