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January 28, 2005
VICK-TIMS
Rob: To put it concisely, this game blew. Neither team did much
of anything interesting, and certainly nothing that convinced me
they were going to win the Super Bowl. I was rooting for Atlanta
because I thought it was really funny how the Eagles kept on losing
NFC championship games, but it was really hard to get behind them
when they failed to do anything to the Eagles defense. I don't get
to see the Falcons very much, but whenever I do, I'm not terribly
impressed by Michael Vick.
Rush Limbaugh: He's overrated. The media want a black quarterback
to do well.
Rob: What about Donovan McNabb?
Rush Limbaugh: Him? Oh, he's great.
Jeff: Vick is overrated. His career quarterback rating is 77; it
was only 78 this season. His passing high was 252 yards and he only
threw for 200 three times all year. He hasn't made any progress
as a passer and his legs are just going to end up getting him killed.
I don't hold liking Michael Vick against anyone. He has a lot of
athletic ability and it's easy to fall in love with the possibilities.
But one day he has to turn that promise into actual performance.
But even if he doesn't, I suppose there's nothing wrong with being
a mediocre quarterback. And Vick is the most exciting mediocre quarterback
in the league.
Rob: That's what annoys me about Vick most of all. He's supposed
to be exciting, but a lot of the time he's not. I never see the
games where he scrambles ninety yards for a touchdown. I see the
ones where he scrambles a total of ninety yards back and forth across
the field looking for a receiver before he gets hauled down and
sacked.
Jeff: I don't know. That still sounds more entertaining than a
guy stuck in the pocket, not able to find anyone to throw to, and
taken down, also known as the "David Carr." The destination's
of the trip's the same, but there's more stuff to look at out the
window along the way.
THROW IN THE TERRIBLE TOWEL
Rob: This game had to be about as humiliating for the Steelers
as last week's game was for the Colts. Why do the Patriots like
to torment their opponents? Couldn't they have scored that 41 points
against the Colts defense and won that way? Couldn't they have held
the Steelers offense to 3 points instead of doing it to Indy? It's
like they're bored with just winning and just like to toy with other
teams now. It couldn't have been less satisfying for a Steelers
fan to watch. And in addition to being the best team in the NFL,
the Patriots continue to get every conceivable break.
Referee: Fumble recovery? Oh no, actually, that'll be overturned,
and by the way, that's fifteen more yards for unsportsmanlike conduct.
Rob: That one really took the wind of the Steelers' sails. If being
down three touchdowns at halftime didn't do it first.
Jeff: For a game that went that poorly for the Steelers, there were
very few shots of an angry, spittling, screaming Bill Cowher. He
looked more a parent watching his kid completely fall on his face.
He did everything he could do to prepare them, but in the end they
had to do it for themselves and wound up failing spectacularly.
It was a combination of sadness, embarrassment, pity, and forced
optimism. The most discouraging part had to be the start of the
third quarter when Cowher was thinking of bringing in Tommy Maddox,
but gave the kid one more shot. Big Ben looked somewhat competent
driving down the field, then he threw a pick and made the QB switch
irrelevant. It was crushing.
Peter Gammons: Crushing.
Rob: In fairness to Ben, he had to play the game on broken toes.
Bill Cowher: No, he didn't.
Rob: Oh, well, it was still an awful lot to ask a quarterback playing
in his first postseason to take out the reigning champions.
Tom Brady: Eh, I guess.
Rob: I don't know if Ben lives in the Pittsburgh area, but if he
does, he's going to have to spend his off-season listening to a
lot of people talking about going back to starting Tommy Maddox.
For that matter, more than a few Steelers fans are getting frustrated
with Bill Cowher's inability to get past the conference championship
game.
Andy Ried: Loser.
Rob: Reasonable or not, the Steelers fan base is passionate. If
I know my crazy fans, and living in Boston, I think I do, all those
sad faces crying into their Terrible Towels are likely to get very
pissy and angry over the talk radio airwaves in the coming months.
Jeff: You're right, but what are you going to do if you're running
the Steelers? I'm fairly certain Bill Cowher mention to the team
that penalties and interceptions are bad; the players just didn't
get the job done. Maybe someone who knows a lot more about football
than me can tell you that the Steelers had a bad gameplan that day,
but it seems like a whole lot of teams have suffered from bad gameplans
against the Patriots.
LIKE WINE, MORE EXPENSIVE WITH AGE
Rob: Roger Clemens became the oldest highest paid-est pitcher in
major league history this week when he and the Astros agreed to
a one year extension worth $18 million. I guess the Astros had to
spend all that Carlos Beltran money somewhere. This deal came to
be after Roger submitted a ludicrous arbitration number of $22 million.
I can't imagine the Astros could have been too afraid he'd win his
arbitration case, so I assume they the 43-year old Clemens all that
money so he wouldn't retire. I guess he's a big draw, but so is
the Rally Monkey, and all the Angels have to do is keep him in bananas
and he's happy.
Scott Boras: Bananas and a no trade clause.
Jeff: There are a whole lot of people out there hoping Roger totally
falls apart this year. If he gets hurt, not only will he not be
worth anything close to $18 million, but that huge chunk of salary
might make it impossible for the Astros to make a move at the deadline
to cover for him. He'll leave the team on a bad note and complete
the circuit, exiting from every organization he pitched for under
bad circumstances. I think that will make him the career leader
in messy splits, adding yet another bit of Black Ink to an already
all time great career.
Rob: It looked bad for Roger's streak when he left the Yankees with
good feelings and a new Hummer. But then he pulled the coming out
of retirement thing out of his hat, and he was right back in the
game. That's what distinguishes the great ones: when the situation
looks bleak, they can reach back and find a little extra something
to carry the day. Look at Rickey Henderson. Despite having no skills
that any major league ballclub couldn't find somewhere else, Rickey
was still complaining about playing time and holding out with the
Red Sox and Dodgers in the last two years of his career.
Rickey Henderson: Last years of my career? When's that gonna be?
Rickey's just waiting for that call, he be playing this year, don't
you worry.
Jeff: Sweet. So we'll get to see you in Nashua this year?
Rickey Henderson: Hell no. Rickey ain't riding no bus to New Hampshire.
SLAP YOU SILLY
Rob: Yankee mouthpiece extraordinaire Alex Rodriguez made news
with pointed comments in the direction of the Red Sox in general
and Curt Schilling in particular. Responding to Schilling's own
comments about A-Rod's "bush league play" during Game
6 of the ALCS, A-Rod said he hoped Schilling kept making those comments
because they would give the Yankees "great motivation to beat
him up in the future." *sigh* Alex, Alex. Listen, I'm all for
athletes saying what's on their mind. We're all sick of the standard
Bull Durham-interviews. But it doesn't make you look great to carp
at the guys who you just lost to in spectacular fashion. And also,
fair on not, whenever you utter the word "motivation,"
the first thing that's going to pop into everyone's mind is your
salary. You really can't win here.
Jeff: Not only that, but Schilling called his little sissy slap
a "bush league play" right after Game 6. There was still
one more game he could have shown up motivated for. That's not even
talking about the historic collapse he may have been motivated to
avoid. And that fight in July he could have been motivated to avenge.
This is why A-Rod was always so professional and prepared with the
media in the past. He knew if he was actually allowed to speak his
mind, everyone would find out what an out of touch douchebag he
was.
Rob: Things haven't gone as well for A-Rod as he had hoped.
A-Rod: I was probably pretty sure everything would work out for
the best.
Rob: When they were negotiating with the Players Association, a
part of A-Rod's compensation with the Red Sox was going to be the
free use of the Red Sox logo, which was supposed to help his marketability.
Well, I don't know if he got any such deal with the Yankees, but
I don't imagine that this season has done wonders for his commercial
prospects. He's not a sympathetic figure on the national stage,
and even in New York he's far from the most popular Yankee. Scott
Brosius probably gets more endorsement offers than A-Rod. Screaming
obscenities at Jason Varitek on a nationally televised game was
bad. Slapping the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove was even worse.
And he's the poster boy for the biggest collapse in baseball history.
Kevin Brown: Thanks for taking the heat off of me.
Rob: Dude, most Yankee fans think they already voided your contract.
Jason Giambi: Hah! Not as easy as it sounds!
IN SUNSHINE AND IN SHADOW, SEARCH FOR CARLOS DELGADO
Rob: Carlos, I hardly knew ye. No, seriously, I hardly did. When
I heard Delgado was signing with the Marlins, I started to think
about what I'd miss about seeing him. The only thing I could think
of was how he used to chatter with Pedro Martinez when the Blue
Jays played at Fenway. You'd think with all the AL East baseball
I've watched over the past decade, there would be more. But that's
pretty much it. He had that great season a few years ago, and he's
been very productive throughout his career, but I can't think of
a single time I've seen him come up with a big performance. I'm
sure I've seen him hit a home run, I've probably even seen it live,
but I can't remember any. I know he had that thing where he wouldn't
stand up for God Bless America, but I only heard about that after
it was a big story. One of the best players in the AL East over
the past ten years, and I never even realized how little attention
I was paying to him. Oh well, it's not like he's dead, he didn't
sign with the Mets or anything.
Doug Mientkiewicz: There was that time he tried to run me over when
I was playing second base. But I held onto the ball.
Dan Shaughnessy: You're pretty good at that.
Jeff: That shot on Doug was out of character for Carlos. I'm sure
he didn't mean to hit him so hard.
Albert Belle: He didn't hit him hard enough. You know what I would
have done?
Jeff: A thrown ball or a forearm?
Albert Belle: Both. It was a move I was working on right before
I had to reti..., um, go on the DL.
Jeff: That degenerative hip condition didn't quite recover like
you'd hoped, did it?
Albert Belle: No, but I showed up for spring training every year,
just in case. And by "showed up" I mean I called them
and told them I wasn't coming.
Rob: Albert Belle, now there's a guy I do miss.
Albert Belle: Get the hell away from me.
GLACIAL SPEED
Rob: The NHL continues to be locked out, but there was a bright
spot in negotiations this week, as the two sides agreed to further
discussion, postponing breaking off talks until the next meeting.
Jeff: The sides had a five hour meeting session this week and neither
side says they're any closer to a resolution. What did they talk
about for five hours where they managed to make no progress? I'd
love to see a transcript of that. It probably looks exactly like
a fight you'd have with your girlfriend. No movement, no resolution,
just both sides repeating the same shit until one side decides they
don't care anymore.
Rob: I wonder if after they're done fighting, the NHLPA an the owner
will have hot, reached-a-collective-bargaining-agreement sex. Man,
I just looked at ESPN.com and the NHL link is below Motorsports.
That's rough.
Jeff: At least they're stll above the WNBA. That's a league that
doesn't even enter into my consciousness. I bet if you asked a hundred
people on the street if the WNBA was in season right now, you'd
get no better results than flipping a coin. And the coin wouldn't
ask you what the WNBA was.
SEA LEVEL
Rob: The Patriots and the Eagles aren't the only teams from Boston
and Philadelphia with a rivalry this winter. The Boston Celtics
currently hold the slimmest of leads over the Philadelphia 76er's
for first place in the Atlantic Division. The Celtics, at 20-22,
could put the division away by playing just slightly worse than
mediocre the rest of the way this season. But the 76er's don't completely
suck, and can't be expected to fade away. And don't discount the
Raptors, Knicks, or even the Nets, who, while terrible, are only
one or two midseason trades away from being merely bad.
Rick Pitino: Hey, I got something to tell you: Shawn Bradley's not
walking through that door.
Rob: Regardless, I know I'll be watching (and by watching I mean
looking at the standings in the paper once or twice a week) to see
who grabs that brass ring and backs into the playoffs this season.
Jeff: The new six division format doesn't look so hot right now,
does it? That's why I'm always leery of anyone who suggests more
divisions would create more excitement since more teams are in playoff
contention. A tight race isn't necessarily a good race. And the
NBA Atlantic division is the Special Olympics 40 Yard Dash of divisional
races. It may be competitive, but a division winning playoff team
shouldn't be the one that falls down the least.
Rob: What's even worse is that these shitty teams all have to play
each other more than the rest of the league. Imagine how bad any
one of these teams would be if you stuck them in the West with the
Mavericks, Spurs and Suns. Maybe it would improve the teams by toughening
them up a little.
Lou Pinella: Yeah, good idea, that works great.
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