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July 7, 2005THE LAST SHALL BE FIRSTRob: Lou Pinella, frustrated with his shitty bullpen, said that he was going to start his relievers, let them pitch a couple of innings, and then bring in his starters to finish out the games. Then he pussed out and just started Casey Fossum, who gave up seven runs on his own anyway. This isn’t the first time Pinella’s floated this idea. Back in Seattle when his bullpen consisted of such gasoline men as Heathcliff Slocumb, Paul Spoljaric, and, go figure, Mike Timlin, he said the same thing. I wanted to see it then, and I was disappointed, and now I’m disappointed again. I’m not saying that I think it would have been a good idea, but I’m all for crappy teams doing all sorts of crazy shit.
Jeff: Absolutely. Shitty teams are the only ones who can do the crazy crap. One thing I've always wanted to see is five infielders and two outfielders with an extreme ground ball pitcher on the mound. You can't be too crazy when you're winning or even kind of winning, but when it's clear you're finishing in last place, why not fuck around a little bit? However, in this particular instance, I don't see the point. Maybe it makes sense if you're an NL team and you're trying to limit the at bats a pitcher gets, but with Lou's plan it seems like he'd rather start the game down four runs and lose all the way through than blow a lead in the later innings. Sure, losing a game you'd thought you'd won is a kick in the balls, but never having the chance of winning sucks even more. It's better to have played and lost than never played at all.
Rob: Well, of course the problem with the idea is that it doesn't make any sense. And I guess it's not really all that crazy, it's just a different way to deploy your crappy pitchers. I do like the five infielders idea though. At least from time to time weird game situations call for that. And sometimes a game will get a little weird. I loved it when Torre had to put Sheffield at third base for an inning last year. And I almost cream myself when an American League team loses their DH. That's some good shit. Jeff: Using pitchers as pinch runners is pretty sweet, too. Why did Jimy Williams use Steve Avery to pinch run so often? Jimy Williams: Manager's decision. Jeff: I was asking for that.
AND THE FIRST SHALL BE LASTRob: Speaking of funny bullpen ideas, the Red Sox announced that they’ll be sending Curt Schilling to the bullpen when he’s done rehabbing in Pawtucket. So much for all the speculation about who goes to the pen when Curt gets back. To me, the most interesting thing about this move is that for some reason, Johnny Damon is absolutely bullshit about it. It just seems like kind of a strange thing for your rock star centerfielder to get his panties all bunched up over. I don’t think it’s the worst move in the world. First of all, I don’t really care who the “closer” is, as long as there are a couple of guys in the bullpen who can get outs. Second, while Schilling would be more valuable as a starter, he seems to not be ready and the Red Sox do need bullpen help now.
Jeff: Not to go all sports radio on everyone, but I'm getting the feeling Damon and the rest of the team don't like Curt very much. It's not Randy Johnson/Jorge Posada-level hate, but there's something there. Anyway, Johnny's right in that Schilling won't be able to jump into emergency save situations, but he's worrying about something that won't ever happen. That's Timlin or Embree territory. Schill will be used for one or two innings in close games, always starting the inning. He'll be like Bob Wickman, only a little less fat. What I really want to know is what Jhonny Perralta thinks of the situation. Well, not really, I just like spelling "Jhonny."
Rob: Jhonny's even better than Yhancey. My first reaction to Damon's comments were that he didn't like Schilling that much too. I can see the reaction to this being, "Oh, what's Schilling doing now." For all the talk about what a disruptive presence Pedro supposed was, you have to wonder how much more anyone likes Curt. But I do think he can be valuable in the bullpen if he can pitch effectively for shorter stints. Despite Johnny's unkind words about "closer by committee," whatever that means, it's not a bad idea to use the few good and healthy guys they have where they need them. And I know he thinks he's sticking up for Timlin, but why would it be so great for him to be declared the closer? Big deal, he gets a few more saves this year. At Timlin's age, it's not like he's playing himself into a big contract next year. Jeff: Everyone claims "closer by committee" never works, but the only teams that have ever tried have had shitty relief pitchers. Of course it doesn't work when your choice is Brandon Lyon versus Alan Embree. But if the Angels of the last few years didn't want to settle on K-Rod or Percival, they could have trotted anyone they wanted out there and done better than whatever team had Jose Mesa.
HEY NOW, YOU’RE AN ALL-STARRob: The All Star line-ups are finalized, with Roy Oswalt and Scott Podsednik winning the final spots on each roster left to the Internet vote. In theory, it’s time to start talking about the snubs, but I don’t think Travis Hafner and Matt Clement should get too upset until after all the spots the guys who are injured or who don’t feel like going vacate are filled. I can’t imagine Johnny Damon will actually play in the game with his shoulder injury, so the question is whether Terry Francona will fill his spot with another position player or another Red Sox.
Jeff: I see Scott Posednik got the vote from everyone who has him on their fantasy team. Jeter and Matsui are better all around players, but those Posednik steals are worth huge points in almost every league. If Damon can't play in the All Star Game, Terry Francona should choose Jay Payton to be his replacement. And Jay Payton should ask to be traded to the National League All Star Team.
Rob: A lot of people also really liked the idea of keeping Jeter off the All Star team. Jeter was kind of screwed in that situation. He does have a lot of fans in New York, but I doubt very many people who aren't Yankees fans actually voted for Jeter. And a lot of Yankee fans voted for Matsui. Wow, when's the last time neither Nomar, Jeter, or A-Rod played shortstop for an AL All-Star Team? Jeff: Jeter would be far better than anyone on the National League team. People have wondered for years how Jeter would be perceived if he were on a relatively obscure team like the San Diego Padres rather than the Yankees. Apparently he'd be even better than we thought and an All Star starter. Time McCarver: I knew it. THE END ZONERob: James Henry Smith, a rabid Steelers fan, died this week. In lieu of a normal, tasteful funeral, he was propped up on a recliner wearing Steelers pajamas, “watching” Steelers highlights, with a beer and cigarettes at his side. I don’t really like open caskets under any circumstances, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have liked this. It does make me think what I would do for my funeral if I wanted it to be stupid, like this guy’s. You’d have to get a grandstand seat from Fenway, prop me up in it, but make sure I’m only halfway paying attention to the game while I’m trying to see if a hot girl a few rows in front of me is wearing a thong. I think that kind of funeral would be hardest on Jeff though, mostly because for realism’s sake, he would have to be sitting next to my dead body for three hours.
Jeff: Four hours if the Yankees were in town. It's funny, you'd only be slightly less aware of pitching changes dead than alive. For my horrible, tasteless funeral, I'd have to be propped up in my grandstand seat with a pair of binoculars strapped to my face so I could see if the chick in the funeral down the hall is hot.
Rob: The worst part of the funeral would be when they have to keep
standing the corpse up so the people sitting in the middle of the
row can get beer. You know, you'd think for our funeral, they'd
at least upgrade us to box seats. Maybe I should write Larry Lucchino
a letter. Jeff: Does that answer the question, "Who do I have to kill to get box seats?" Ourselves, apparently.
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