The Batman

 THE BATMAN

** SPOILERS **

Matt Reeves' The Batman is an immersive, fever dream that begins with the Dark Knight living out countless dark nights wondering why his tactics of punching crooks in the dark isn't having a positive effect on Gotham City. A majestic, R-rated three-hour cinematic tour de force posing as a PG-13 superhero blockbuster, The Batman is relentless, merciless, and hauntingly beautiful. It reimagines, once more, Gotham as a desperate closed world of urban decay. Decent people shouldn't live in Gotham; they'd be happier someplace else. The Batman bucks the current trend of shared superhero multiverses and returns to the Dark Knight's movie roots as a singular vision of a lone vigilante fighting a violent war he can never win to honor the memory of his dead parents. The Batman is a shattering masterpiece, an art-house equal to Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight, all backed by Michael Giacchino's driving score, and it's one of the best superhero movies ever made.

Robert Pattinson is the Batman, and he's ideal. Pattinson portrays the first movie Batman whose hair is mussed up and his eye makeup stays on when he removes his cowl. The Batman is an armored tank proficient in violence but not so keen with the small talk, although he narrates the film like Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) does Watchmen, giving the audience unprecedented access into the Batman's mindset. As the Batman prowls the shadowy corners of Gotham, moving incognito through the frightened populace in motorcycle gear, a vast conspiracy with Bruce Wayne's parents at the very heart of it, unravels around him. Together with his partner in the Gotham Police Department, Lt. James Gordon (Jeffrey Wright), the only good cop in Gotham City, the Batman tries to foil an elaborate plot by a fiendish and diabolical psychopath calling himself the Riddler (Paul Dano), who is murdering members of Gotham's elite to uncover their role in the city's darkest secret. As the Riddler, Dano manages to be as frightening as any Joker yet he's as intelligent as he is sad, vile, and insane. 

The Batman has more in common with films like David Fincher's Se7en and Zodiac than the recent output by Zack Snyder where Batman teams up with other superheroes and fights aliens. The Batman also owes a lot to the popular Batman: Arkham video games as well as Frank Miller's seminal Batman: Year One comics. Fittingly, The Batman is the opposite side of the coin to Joker, which isn't part of this universe but obviously shares its DNA. Both films are concerned with the sins of Thomas Wayne (Luke Roberts), who, in this universe, ran for Mayor but made a crucial mistake in turning to sleazy mob kingpin Carmine Falcone (John Turturro) when the truth about his wife Martha's (Stella Stocker) mental health issues was going to be publicly leaked. Bruce grew up believing his murdered parents were saintly victims of Gotham's criminal rot and the revelation that Thomas Wayne was flawed rocks the Batman's world. As the Riddler continues his murder spree, the Batman finds a reluctant ally in Selina Kyle (Zoe Kravitz), a slinky waitress who moonlights as a cat burglar. Kravitz is sensational as Selina, who has a secret parent of her own and she's intimately tied to the seedy revelations the Riddler wants to uncover. Meanwhile, an unrecognizable Colin Farrell chews the scenery as Osward Cobblepot, a middling mobster who owns the Iceberg Lounge and wants to be called Oz, not Penguin.

Batman and Catwoman have teamed up in the movies before but The Batman's versions have an undeniable chemistry that feels more incendiary than Christian Bale and Anne Hathaway or even Michael Keaton and Michelle Pfeiffer. The Bat and the Cat in The Batman are young, beautiful, wounded, and volatile, warily circling their fatal attraction but also quickly understanding that they're made for each other. Back in the Batcave, which is beneath Wayne Tower instead of Stately Wayne Manor in this universe, Bruce's butler Alfred (Andy Serkis) impatiently manages Wayne's affairs and believes (perhaps correctly) that he's gone insane. As much fun as an eternally disappointed Alfred taking the piss out of Bruce is, the Batman's repartee with Jim Gordon is one of the highlights of the film. It's the best live-action depiction of Batman and Gordon as crimefighting friends working together, eclipsing even Christian Bale's Dark Knight's team-up with Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman). We don't get the back story of why the Batman and Gordon are such bosom buddies but their us-against-the worst of Gotham dynamic is aces.

The Batman is the first Batman movie that reflects the title Detective Comics, finally delivering a sordid and cerebral detective story that challenges the Dark Knight's sleuthing skills as the World's Greatest Detective, although the Riddler, who thinks he's actually working alongside the Batman in his twisted mind, is disappointed when the Batman doesn't see the big picture. The Ridder's scheme not only involves exposing a 20-year-old plot by the city's officials and the mob to embezzle billions left behind by Thomas Wayne meant as the "renewal" of Gotham City, but he also wants to literally sink the city. The Batman weaving in the inevitable peril posed by climate change is timely and powerful. Of course, The Batman also hedges its bets at a potential sequel and drops in a cameo by Barry Keoghan as "Unnamed Arkham Prisoner," i.e. the Joker, just as Nolan's Batman Begins telegraphed the Joker for his sequel. 

But while The Batman's stunningly brutal action, including an eye-popping car chase involving the Batman's new muscle car Batmobile, really delivers, The Batman's best trick is in the end when the Batman publicly risks his life to save Gotham's new mayor and thousands of refugees from Riddler's murderous incel goons. This was already a Batman who had no qualms of marching shoulder-to-shoulder with cops, but The Batman shows the Dark Knight's unprecedented willingness to be seen by the people he's trying to save. The Batman shows touching personal growth as he realizes he's meant to be a hero, not just the city's shadowy avenger. The Batman's self-sacrifice as he saves women and children during Gotham's greatest catastrophe is perhaps the most uplifting ending of any Batman movie. In the end, the Batman realizes he has to be a better Batman for Gotham, and his bittersweet parting with Selina as they roar in separate directions on their motorcycles is as powerful a denouement as The Dark Knight's unforgettable conclusion. For Matt Reeves, Robert Pattinson, and Warner Bros., The Batman is a triumph and deserves to earn as many billions as Bruce Wayne has in the bank.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

BIRDS OF PREY

 (AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN)

** SPOILERS **

Mmm BoP

You know those little windup toys you can get for cheap? Maybe one's a little monkey clanging cymbals, another could be a little dinosaur with chattering teeth, and a windup car that goes vroom for a few feet before coming to a dead stop? Director Cathy Yan's Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) is like five of those toys clanging together for an hour and 47 minutes. The only things they have in common is the kid who happens to be playing with them and at the end, she lines them all up and has a little race, which is, admittedly, kinda fun, but then she gets called inside for dinner and leaves all her trinkets on the sidewalk.

Birds of Prey is as colorful and messy as Harley Quinn herself and the film is, shall we say, not very good, but it tries very hard and earnestly. Centering entirely on Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), the breakout character of Suicide Squad, Birds of Prey is about her coming into her own as a strong, independent, clown princess of crime (kind of) after her breakup with the Joker (presumably Jared Leto, but Mr. J is unseen but constantly talked about, like Poochie). The Joker actually throws Harley out unceremoniously (by literally just locking her out of his house) and Harley narrates her own emancipation as she tries to start anew without being the harlequin subservient to her male master (her words). Unfortunately, little Miss Quinn learns that her affiliation with the Joker was the only thing that was shielding her from Gotham's underworld wanting to string her up by her heels. Harley becomes a target of every (non-costume-wearing) thug wanting to collect a huge bounty in Gotham City's East End, a section of town Batman apparently never visits and is run by trust fund baby/crime boss Roman Sionis (Ewan McGregor), aka Black Mask. Why is he called Black Mask? Because, by the end of the movie, he wears a black mask (that's as deep as this thing gets).

Because Harley is narrating this little tale (and she's cuh-razy... sometimes), Birds of Prey is somehow both thinly-plotted and overplotted simultaneously and the movie unfolds in bewildering fits and starts. It's as if screenwriter Christina Hodson (who wrote the excellent Bumblebee) tried to crib Pulp Fiction while she was high on meth, but then she gave up and got hit by a bus, scattering the pages every which way. The film introduces us (and Harley) to the other Gotham girls in this Gang of Five: First, there's Dinah Lance (Jurnee Smollett-Bell), who likes to be called Black Canary (according to Harley, but Dinah herself never says so), and is a chanteuse/chauffeur working for Sionis. Dinah is the only one with superpowers: a Canary Cry sonic scream that she only uses once (on purpose). Then there's Detective Renee Montoya (Rosie Perez), a grizzled cop always being passed over by mediocre men in the GCPD (but not Commissioner James Gordon, who is never mentioned). There's also Cassandra Cain (Ella Jay Basco), a teenage pickpocket who steals this movie's MacGuffan - a diamond containing the serial numbers to the fabulous fortune of the Bertinelli crime family, the richest people in Gotham (not named Wayne). Finally, there's Helena Bertinelli (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), a vigilante murdering the criminals who executed her family like the Romanovs with a crossbow, and goes by the name Huntress. The running gag of Helena always trying to dramatically say her codename - "They call me..." and everyone cutting her off and calling her "The Crossbow Killer" is the best joke of the whole movie but also drags across the whole movie. 

This is a lot of characters to juggle and it takes them for-fucking-ever to all get-together. Anyone going into Birds of Prey expecting Harley to be surrounded by a loyal girl gang that sticks it to the asshole men in their lives has to literally wait until the last 10 minutes for it to happen. Instead, each of the Birds of Prey is belittled, abused, and victimized ad nauseam by every character with a Y chromosome in the film (even Harley's kindly Chinese landlord betrays her for a wad of cash). Harley spends the length of the movie alternating between being a damsel in distress and a relentless fighting machine who can take out scores of thugs while high on cocaine. There's a little mentor-student stuff where Harley takes Cassandra under her criminal wing and there are fleeting references to how Harley owns a stuffed beaver she talks to (because she's crazy) and a hyena named Bruce (named after "that hunky Wayne guy") that nods to her comic books but falls flat in the film. There's also a lot of action, in that the movie basically delivers the same fight scenes 3-4 times where Harley (and later, with the rest of the BoP) acrobatically takes out legions of thugs with her signature baseball bat. 

As the main character who's essentially a human Looney Tunes (she even watches Bugs Bunny cartoons while eating cereal at home), Harley Quinn is equal parts grating and irresistible - the latter can be attributed to the irrepressible movie star charisma of Margot Robbie and it's hard to see how this character could work anywhere near as well with someone else playing her. The other characters get little moments to shine but are underserved, comparatively; Dinah needed a lot more to do while Helena is mostly kept on the wayside and she doesn't even get to show her personality until the final minutes of the movie. However, the real embarrassment are the villains: McGregor is a disaster as Roman Sionis, playing Black Mask as a seething man baby that skirts towards Tommy Lee Jones in Batman Forever farcical. Just as awful is Chris Messina as Victor Zsasz, Sionis' skeevy, psychotic henchman who is apparently super into Roman but the movie doesn't really get into it. Zsasz is supposed to be one of Gotham's worst serial killers but he doesn't kill anyone in the movie. He does, however, get pickpocketed like a rube. Anyway, they're terrible villains and by the end, Batman will never even get to punch Black Mask in the face in this version of the DCEU. Overall, Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) feels like too much of a good Quinn, but then again, Harley is never more relatable or endearing than when she's just trying to eat a breakfast sandwich.

Joker

JOKER

** SPOILERS **

Watching Joker, I imagined how his Gotham arch criminal cohort, Harvey Two-Face, must feel like all the time. I was of two minds watching director Todd Philips' film: it's impossible to deny that Joker is a stunning cinematic achievement from an acting, direction, production, and cinematography standpoint. Joker creates a startlingly authentic Gotham City (New York City overdosed on steroids and vomit) circa 1981 and plunges a degenerate fiend into the very heart of it. Alternately, Joker is a grotesque journey into that degenerate fiend's heart and mind; sometimes the movie asks you to empathize or sympathize with Joker and his miserable - unfair in certain ways - existence, but in the end, it's impossible to (and if it isn't, if you agree with Joker, please keep it to yourself). Joker is the riveting and absorbing tale of who the murder clown is and how he came to be but, to quote his predecessor Jack Nicholson's Joker 30 years ago, "I didn't ask."

A supernatural Joaquin Phoenix stars as Arthur Fleck, the sad sack who is destined to become the Joker. Life hasn't been good to him; physically and psychologically abused as a child, Arthur developed a neurological condition that makes him laugh hysterically at inappropriate times. He's on 7 different types of medication and none of it seems to help. Perpetually down on his luck, misunderstood, and offputting, the laughter makes him a pariah and a target of ridicule and abuse. He's eternally puffing on a cigarette held by fingers with nails he's chewed off. Arthur dreams of "bringing joy and laughter into the world" by becoming a standup comedian but he is the opposite of funny. Scoping out nightclubs and scribbling notes and his own original "jokes" as he surveys stand up comedians, Arthur can, at best, replicate the physical beats but he has no understanding of actual humor. Yet, Arthur worships Gotham's favorite late-night talk show host Murray Franklin (Robert De Niro) and yearns to be his guest and make the audience laugh.

Instead, Arthur ekes out a grim and thankless living as a clown for hire until, one day, he brings a loaded gun into a children's hospital, which gets him fired. This puts his dire financial situation in even more jeopardy since he is the lone caregiver of his elderly and sick mother, Penny Fleck (Frances Conroy). Mother Fleck subsists by writing desperate letters to Thomas Wayne (Brett Cullen), Gotham's top billionaire who's making a bid to become Mayor; Penny was a maid for the Waynes in the 1950s and claims that Arthur, whom she nicknamed Happy, is Thomas' bastard son. She dreams, in vain, of the great Thomas Wayne whisking them both away from their squalor.

One night on a train, Arthur's uncontrollable laughter provokes three drunken Wayne Finance stockbrokers who were about to molest an innocent woman. The assholes violently attack Arthur, who pulls out his gun and shoots them all dead - this is the flashpoint that gives birth to the Joker, or rather, released the Joker within Arthur - while also setting off a powderkeg in Gotham. Suddenly, Gotham's underclass regard the Clown Vigilante as a hero, which sparks protests and riots with hundreds of people donning clown masks. To Arthur, it means he's finally being seen and he takes it as proof of his existence. But when he discovers that his mother believes he's the son of Thomas Wayne, Arthur decides to visit Wayne Manor: he gets as far as the gate but he meets the 8-year-old Bruce Wayne (Dante Pereira-Olson), who is destined to be his greatest enemy in a future we'll never see (of this version anyway), but we also know Batman and Joker are destined to do that dance forever. When Arthur forces his way into Wayne Hall to confront Thomas Wayne, his "father" (who really isn't) disappoints him with a punch to the face. The final straw that breaks Arthur and turns him into Joker is when he learns his mother was an inmate in Arkham State Hospital, was delusional about Thomas, adopted young Arthur, and she stood by while he was abused as a child. Admittedly, matricide is a crime the Joker hadn't committed before but Joker checks that off his long list of career murders.

Powerfully (and quite obviously) evoking producer Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, the newly and fully clownified Joker achieves his dream of appearing on The Murray Franklin Show. To say Joker a nightmare guest is an understatement but it's in the crucial final act that Joker and Joker shift the blame fully onto society for his crimes and murders. It's true Gotham's brutality bears the brunt of the blame for Arthur Fleck's miserable life but his multiple murders are, ultimately, no one's fault but Joker's. And yet, rather sickeningly, Joker is held up as a hero, applauded by the clown-masked rioters who have 'taken Gotham back' in their "Kill The Rich" riots - which includes Thomas and Martha Wayne (Carrie Louise Putrello), who are shot dead in an alleyway by a Joker acolyte (as they are destined to be), leaving young Bruce an orphan. 

What we're left with at the end of Joker is the awe that is due for an admittedly mesmerizing display of cinema attempting to elevate the 'comic book movie' to the level of high art coupled with the harrowing feeling of watching an empty vessel caked in clown makeup murdering people who 'aren't nice to him' unchallenged. There's nothing aspirational or inspirational in the Joker's origin and his self-actualization is Joker embracing his destiny as a homicidal maniac, so... ha ha? Altogether, Joker is simultaneously enthralling and disturbing, absorbing and repellant. Most of all, Joker illustrates how much he needs Batman and, further, how much any Joker story needs the counterbalance of Batman - even more specifically, Joker proves how much we, the audience, need to see the Joker punched in the face by Batman over and over. Many Bat times and many Bat punches.

Justice League

JUSTICE LEAGUE

** SPOILERS **

"Children," Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) says with a bit of disbelief. "I'm working with children." Of course, Superman (Henry Cavill) and Cyborg (Ray Fisher) giggling on the ground after they managed to save the world together earned a little bit of child-like goofy revelry. Child-like goofy revelry is the theme and provides the high points of Justice League, a superhero movie designed to please the Super Friends-loving children inside us first and foremost (and no one else). Director Zack Snyder (and Joss Whedon who directed reshoots but only shares screenplay credit Chris Terrio) finally unite the seven six World's Greatest Superheroes - Superman, Batman (Ben Affleck), Wonder Woman, Aquaman (Jason Momoa), The Flash (Ezra Miller), and Cyborg - together in one superhero smash-em-up movie. The Justice League comes together to face - what else? - an invader from another world, the CGI conqueror Steppenwolf (voiced by Ciaran Hinds), and his army horde big group of flying space insects called Parademons from the planet Apokolips. But first, the Justice League has to learn to work together (i.e. learn to work with Batman). 

Justice League follows up the events of Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice. Superman died saving the world. Batman, who was consumed by hatred of the Man of Steel in the previous movie, is now consumed by guilt over his death and fear about the coming alien invasion he's powerless to stop. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman go hunting for new super friends, which takes up half of the movie. In Newfoundland, Batman finds Arthur Curry, the Aquaman, a local legend who is not-so-secretly the disgruntled King of the Seven Seas. Bruce Wayne has really gotten sloppy in his old age; he didn't seem remotely concerned that by publicly chatting with Curry, an entire town in Newfoundland now knows he's the Batman. Wayne also recruits Barry Allen, a gee whiz wunderkind who also happens to be the Fastest Man Alive. Allen instinctively understands he's the comic relief of this group and plays his role with (too much) aplomb. Meanwhile, Wonder Woman and Cyborg find each other - Cyborg was a college athlete named Victor Stone who was caught in some kind of explosion. His scientist father rebuilt him into a Cyborg using technology from what he calls the Change Engine, but is actually one of the three alien Mother Boxes Steppenwolf has returned to Earth to collect.

Steppenwolf is the boring alien lynchpin of Justice League's mythology - he came to Earth five thousand years ago with three Mother Boxes and way more Parademons than he brings in 2017. In DC Comics, Mother Boxes are all-purpose super computers, but in Justice League, they're just alien power sources which, when combined into 'The Unity', will terraform the Earth and turn it into the planet Apokolips, Steppenwolf's other dimensional home world. (Terraforming Earth is the exact same plan the Kryptonians had when they invaded Earth in Man of Steel. Don't any aliens want Earth as it is? It's a nice planet!) The film barely explains the mythology of the New Gods (or anything else), expecting the audience to have seen the other DC movies and the comic book nerds in the know to fill the newbies in afterwards. So Steppenwolf tried to turn the Earth all fiery and horrible, and turn humans into Parademons, but an alliance between the Amazons (Wonder Woman's people), the Atlanteans (Aquaman's people), the tribes of man, and even the Greek gods and a Green Lantern (who got his green ass whooped real fast) stood against Steppenwolf and banished him. The Atlanteans, Amazons, and men each took a Mother Box (in this universe, shouldn't it really be called a Martha Box?) to keep them separated. Like geniuses, the Atlanteans and Amazons put their Mother Boxes on display. The humans (for once) had the good sense to bury their Mother Box. How it ended up in the lab of Cyborg's father is one of Justice League's many plot holes that go unexplained.

So where the hell is Superman? Well, he is dead, but not forgotten. Justice League retcons the mistrust and ambiguity the world felt about the Man of Steel's existence. Now he was a beacon of hope whose banner is flown at all points around the globe in a state of perpetual mourning. The man Superman really was, Clark Kent, is missed terribly by his mother Martha (Diane Lane) and his fiance Lois Lane (Amy Adams), but no one on Earth misses him more than Batman. In his private moments with his butler Alfred (Jeremy Irons), Batman bemoans his own inadequacies at length (he's right about all of them). He's convinced that Superman is who the world needs (he's right about that too.) When the League minus Superman faces Steppenwolf for the first time and get their united asses handed to them, Batman decides it's time to really go dark - Pet Cemetary dark - and bring Superman back to life with the power of the Mother Box. This leads to the moment no one ever expected to see in a superhero movie: The Flash and Cyborg in a Smallville graveyard digging up Clark Kent's coffin.

Gal Gadot thankfully returns as the Wonder Woman we fell in love with last summer. Wonder Woman is unequivocably the best character in the movie and perpetually the only adult in the room. The best scene in Justice League is the argument when Batman goes full-on asshole and accuses Wonder Woman of failing the world by not being the beacon of hope Superman is. The other best scene is when Aquaman doesn't realize he's sitting on Wonder Woman's magic Lasso of Truth and start spilling his guts about his true feelings (Wonder Woman is gorgeous, he doesn't want to die, etc.) These character interactions between the League are terrific and savvy, full of knowing wit and a pleasing understanding of the characters and how they bounce off each other. The movie really picks up momentum when Superman comes back to life - complete, of course, with the obligatory fan service of Superman fighting the Justice League (and racing The Flash) - before Lois Lane's appearance calms him down and puts the human back in control of the Kryptonian. Superman is worth waiting for, and it's wonderful to see Henry Cavill smiling, relaxed and cracking jokes for the first time (no matter how weird his CGI'd face looks after the mustache he grew for Mission: Impossible 6 was digitally erased).

With so many superheroes and their disparate corners of the DC Universe (Gotham, Atlantis, Themyscira, Central City) being serviced - the Atlanteans and their Queen Mera (Amber Heard) really got short shafted; wait until the Aquaman movie next year to find out what all that Atlantis business was all about - Justice League takes on multiple tones not unlike what Stephen Soderbergh did with Traffic. The movie literally looks and feels different depending on what location they're at - Gotham looks like a cartoon city, then all of a sudden we cut to London and it looks like the real world - and the effect can be jarring. Imagine if Star Wars: Attack of the Clones was jammed together with A New Hope mixed with huge chunks of The LEGO Batman Movie and you get the idea. The first half of the movie leaps around like two dogs fighting over a stick, and the action scenes are mostly frenetic and unmemorable eyesores, with deafeningly loud and abrasive sound design that drowns out composer Danny Elfman's weaving of his classic Batman and John Williams' classic Superman scores into the music. Five years ago, The Avengers assembled for a crowd-pleasing and multi-layered 30 minute battle against aliens to defend New York City, showcasing each Avenger's powers, abilities, and strategies. The Justice League's final showdown with Steppenwolf is a rush job in a tiny town in the middle of Russia where they just keep punching Parademons and Steppenwolf until they win. The League may have been All In, according to the marketing, but in terms of everything it could be, the movie is Not All There.

After so many years of dreaming about this movie, the Justice League finally united but it only barely rises above the level of live action cartoon. However, the small, human moments: Bruce Wayne admitting to Wonder Woman that he's barely physically capable of being Batman anymore; Aquaman mocking Bruce Wayne dressing up "just like a bat" in response to wisecracks about "talking to fish"; Wonder Woman using her compassion to try to make Cyborg feel human and wanted; the look on Batman's face when his crazy plan worked and Superman came back to life; Batman: "Oh yeah, something's definitely bleeding..."; and Clark Kent and Lois Lane reuniting in a Smallville cornfield - the love story holding together the fate of the entire DC Universe - are worth celebrating. These are the moments that make Justice League almost worth it. Almost, but not really. Still, there's potentially nowhere to go but up from here; a wise choice by DC Films as to who will helm the sequel now that Zack Snyder is reportedly stepping aside will hopefully deliver an even better version of the part 2 teased in the rebuilding of Stately Wayne Manor into the Hall of Justice ("room for more") and in the post-credits scene. After a lifetime of dreaming about a Justice League movie, it's finally here and... well, it's here. Now with that fulfilled, we can share a new dream: one of a coherent Justice League movie. For that, I will be All In.

Justice League on Screen Rant

JUSTICE LEAGUE ON SCREEN RANT

My Justice League Feature articles for Screen Rant collected:

THE PUNISHER'S NEW RELEASE DATE WON'T HURT JUSTICE LEAGUE

DREAM SEQUENCES MADE THE DCEU FILMS MORE EPIC

WHY BATMAN IS STILL OBSESSED WITH SUPERMAN

IS LOIS LANE THE KEY TO SUPERMAN'S RETURN?

WHERE IS THE DCEU'S GREEN LANTERN DURING JUSTICE LEAGUE?

WILL WONDER WOMAN AND AQUAMAN FIGHT IN THE FLASHPOINT MOVIE?

WHAT WONDER WOMAN'S MODERN SCENES MEAN FOR JUSTICE LEAGUE

HOW JUSTICE LEAGUE'S FATE DEPENDS ON AQUAMAN, CYBORG AND THE FLASH

Batman is Dumb

BATMAN IS DUMB

 

Obviously, I love Batman. And I love The Dark Knight Trilogy, which for me, personally, is a definitive interpretation of Batman.

— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) April 13, 2017

One of the things I love about The Dark Knight Trilogy is it communicates the underlying theme that Batman is actually a pretty dumb idea.

— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) April 13, 2017

Most of the characters in The Dark Knight Trilogy communicate to Bruce Wayne in some way that Batman is a dumb idea.

— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) April 13, 2017

Starting with Alfred. From the day he picked Bruce up via plane after 7 years to the day Bruce fired him, he always said Batman was dumb.

— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) April 13, 2017

Lucius Fox thought Batman was dumb, but enabled Bruce. Ra's al Ghul made fun of Bruce when he saw him in the Batman suit.

— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) April 13, 2017

Harvey Dent: "Whoever he is, he doesn't want to be Batman forever. Why would he?" Right. Because that would be dumb.

— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) April 13, 2017

Right down to Bane, who also made fun of Batman relentlessly while he beat him up and broke his back. They all agree Batman is dumb.

— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) April 13, 2017

Eventually, Bruce got the hint. He realized the only not dumb thing to do was quit being Batman. Left it to some other dumb ass to try.

— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) April 13, 2017

And that's the moral of The Dark Knight Trilogy, the greatest Batman films of all time.

— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) April 13, 2017

The LEGO Batman Movie

THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE

** SPOILERS **

Batman learns the meaning of family in The LEGO Batman Movie, an absurdly funny, balls-to-the-wall celebration on pretty much everything cool, funny and weird about Batman. Let's face it, there's a lot weird about Batman. Gleefully referencing over 75 years of Batman history, especially all of the previous live action Batman movies and the classic 1960s Batman TV show - all done in the inimitable LEGO style - The LEGO Batman Movie is a loving takedown of the Dark Knight and tries to lighten him up a little. As Batman (who hardly ever removes his cowl and identifies mainly as Batman - Bruce Wayne is just a guy who lives in Batman's attic), Will Arnett pushes his irrepressible voice to its gravelly max as he portrays the most unapologetically idiosyncratic version of the Caped Crusader we've ever seen.

Arnett's LEGO Batman is a swoll alpha-bro narcissist with unlimited billions to spend on the coolest gadgets ("Iron Man sucks!") to protect Gotham City from the scores of super villains trying to destroy it. Batman is totally into himself, but his self-absorbed swagger masks a lifetime of pain and fear of abandonment after (stop me if you've heard this one) his parents were killed in front of him when he was a boy. The LEGO Batman Movie completely understands that Batman, with his cars, toys, and his endless assortment of Bat-branded paraphernalia, is essentially a 10 year old's response to a violent world around him. LEGO is the perfect way to depict Batman's ridiculous excesses to compensate.

The LEGO Batman Movie's heart is in Batman growing to accept that he needs relationships in his life, be it with his long-suffering arch foe The Joker (Zach Galifianakis), who longs for the affirmation from Batman that he is Batman's greatest enemy, to Gotham's new Police Commissioner Barbara Gordon (Rosario Dawson), whom Batman totally has the hots for, to his newly adopted son Dick Grayson (Michael Cera), a lonely orphan who needs Batman just as much as Batman needs him. However, Batman is a huge dick, and it takes him the entire length of The LEGO Batman Movie to stop abusing everyone in his life and accept that being Batman alone isn't as fulfilling as being the head of the Batman Family.

A lot of the fun of The LEGO Batman Movie comes from the free-for-all of characters throughout. Batman's entire rogue's gallery is in the movie from Bane, to The Penguin, to Poison Ivy, to Harley Quinn down to the deepest cut C-grade baddies like King Tut and Condiment King. The Justice League are in the movie, throwing a party in Superman's Fortress of Solitude (Batman's email invite must have gotten lost). Most fun of all are the scores of villains from outside the DC Comics Universe who The Joker recruits to help him destroy Gotham, including Lord Voldemort, Sauron from The Lord of the Rings, Daleks from Doctor Who, and Medusa and the Kraken from Clash of the Titans. (Incredibly, Ralph Fiennes provides the voice of Alfred, but he does not voice Voldemort. Eddie Izzard does the honors.) In the end, Batman becomes an even greater hero (not just because of his killer 9-pack abs) and learns that having the biggest Batcave is meaningless without people in his life to fill it with. Lobster Thermidor for everyone!

Suicide Squad

SUICIDE SQUAD

** SPOILERS **

Suicide Squad is like the Cold Stone Creamery of comic book movies. A dozen ingredients mushed together frozen on a slab. Maybe eating the entire thing isn't the best thing for you, but you like the fillings and it tastes really good for a while, so you keep eating until the end. Then what? I dunno. My tummy feels weird. Written and directed with balls-slapped-to-the-wall gusto by David Ayers, who is clearly indulging his youthful love of comic books, Suicide Squad is the dirty, scarred side of the DC Cinematic Universe coin. Shining a light on some of the most dangerous (and frankly, some of the most obscure) super villains in the DC Comics pantheon, Suicide Squad's primary mission is to elicit sympathy for the devils (with on the nose musical choices), which Ayers accomplishes for some of the Squad. Bawdier, rowdier, and more perverse than Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad is pure, distilled comic book villain chaos on the screen. Alternately erratic, ambitious, scattershot, harebrained, baffling, and proudly in-your-face to a fault, Suicide Squad is also fitfully fun and occasionally even admirable.

"What if Superman ripped the roof off the White House and kidnapped the President? Who could have stopped him?" is the treatise behind the formation of Task Force X, the brainchild of Amanda Waller (Viola Davis), a devious, ruthless patriot. (Superman is, of course, currently deceased as a result of Batman v Superman, but Waller fears the next Superman may not be as noble, though they sure didn't like him much when he was alive.) Waller's idea: recruit the myriad metahuman super villains already incarcerated in a Louisiana black site prison called Belle Reve and force these very bad people to do some good. Or die trying, via explosive nanites injected into their necks. Waller's plan has little logical merit (though some of the Belle Reve inmates are super powered metahumans, how would they realistically fare against someone as powerful as the Man of Steel?) but through blackmail, fear-mongering and intimidation, Waller gets the green light from the Joint Chiefs of Staff for her Suicide Squad.

The unwilling recruits to the Suicide Squad are the worst of the worst and the craziest of the crazy: Deadshot (Will Smith), an assassin and the world's deadliest marksman who was personally apprehended by the Batman (Ben Affleck, making several welcome appearances in and out of the Batsuit); Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), the Joker's sexpot girlfriend and a gleeful maniac who's also in Belle Reve courtesy of Batman; Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), literally a crocodile man who was captured by -- you guessed it -- Batman; Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney), an Aussie nutjob who somehow is serving three consecutive life sentences for stealing some diamonds and getting caught by Batman the Flash (Ezra Miller); and Diablo (Jay Hernandez), a flame throwing gang banger who accidentally roasted his family and is trying to reform. There's also Slipknot (Adam Beach), "a guy who can climb anything." He gets dispatched almost immediately as a way for the movie to demonstrate how the nanite bombs would kill the Suicide Squaders if they rebel. Slipknot, we hardly knew ye (and didn't really want to). 

Keeping tabs on the Suicide Squad in the field is Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman), "the best special forces soldier in America" who gives lousy rah rah motivational speeches. Keeping tabs on Rick Flag is Katana (Karen Fukuhara), a masked Japanese lady who wields and talks to a magical samurai sword that traps the souls of its victims and houses the soul of her late husband. Are we done? No. Because speaking of magic, there's also June Moone (Cara Delevingne), an archaeologist whose body is possessed by an ancient and powerful witch called the Enchantress. Scott Eastwood is there too, as one of Flag's soldiers, and for some reason his name is GQ. Meanwhile, occasionally inserting his madness into the movie's overall madness is the Joker (Jared Leto), an unwelcome distraction who's hellbent on rescuing Harley so she can be reunited with her 'puddin' Mistah J. Following the daunting, legendary cinematic footsteps of Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger, Leto preens as a pimped out, bling-wearing, tattooed, repulsive and grotesque Joker that it's probably safe to say will go down as no one's favorite incarnation of the Clown Prince of Crime. 

In a movie chock full of bad people, the Big Bad turns out to be the Enchantress, who decides she wants to destroy the world. She and her demonic, CGI brother take control of Midway City, turning ordinary citizens into minions who look like human blackberries, and creates a machine that shoots electricity into the sky for three days. (This went on for three days yet Batman, Wonder Woman or the Flash didn't make a move to intervene? Wonder Woman would have been the best bet to go up against the Enchantress.) Finally, the Suicide Squad is dispatched to Midway City. To take out the Enchantress? No. To rescue a MacGuffin, which turns out to be Amanda Waller herself. Meanwhile, Waller is in possession of her own MacGuffin, the heart of the Enchantress, which she needs to assert her full power. The Suicide Squad do a lot of standing around, walking around, and fighting blackberry minions, in that order, but when Waller is shot down and captured by the Enchantress, the Suicide Squad decides to get drunk in a bar together, commiserating about the unfairness of their lives and bonding in the movie's best scene. Ultimately, the Suicide Squad decide to save the world and defeat the Enchantress. How do they take down an all-powerful sorceress? With guns and bombs, natch. 

The main issue plaguing Suicide Squad is tone, best exemplified by Delevingne's performance as the Enchantress. When first introduced, under the thrall of Waller, poor tortured June Moone is a sympathetic victim of demonic possession. When we first see Moone transformed into the Enchantress, she's dangerously compelling, rather unlike any character we've seen in a comic book movie before. But by the time the Suicide Squad faces the Enchantress, Delevingne loses sight of the top as she careens headlong over it, becoming a posturing and gyrating cartoon. It's as if director Ayers was demonically possessed by Joel Schumacher. Throughout Suicide Squad, the multitude of characters aching for screen time compete in a muddy tug of war with the demands of the plot. The movie must stop every so often to re-calibrate, with the characters constantly reminding each other or the movie reminding the audience what's happening, what's already happened, and why. 

However, for all of the Suicide Squad's meanderings that occasionally leads to arbitrary, awkwardly-staged violence, Ayers does pull off a neat trick: Suicide Squad is actually about a series of love stories. The Joker's deplorable romance with Harley Quinn is front and center, delving into the origin of how they met at Arkham Asylum -- she was his psychiatrist who fell in love with him -- and how he abused her until she went insane. Rick Flag is also a man in love with June Moone. Rescuing her from the Enchantress turns out to be his primary mission. Best of all is Deadshot's back story; the most infamous assassin in the world has an 11 year old daughter who is the apple of his eye. All Deadshot wants is his daughter's safety and approval. The unbridled inanity and absurdity of Suicide Squad is ultimately redeemed by terrific performances from Smith, anchoring the picture with his movie star charisma, Robbie, magnetically suggesting layers of pathos beneath Harley Quinn's brazen sexuality, Davis, able to seem more dangerous and frightening than the monsters and killers she coerces, and Hernandez, a cauldron of guilt seeking redemption. There's a beating heart within Suicide Squad, and it's not all black.

Batman: The Killing Joke

BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE

** SPOILERS **

Batman: The Killing Joke unflinchingly and uncomfortably tells two sordid tales. At once DC Animation's controversial, R-rated adaptation of Alan Moore and Brian Bolland's seminal graphic novel about The Joker crossing the line to "prove a point" that all it takes is "one bad day" for his madness to be inflicted upon anyone, The Killing Joke also surprisingly veers from the source material and delves into the tragic final days of Barbara Gordon as Batgirl. Batgirl emerges as the true hero of The Killing Joke, by virtue of being the character who suffers the most by far, but she manages to rise above the terrible circumstances heaped upon her (by comic book creators and animators). Poor Batgirl. She can at least take small solace that, by DC Comics' standards of how they abuse their female characters, she didn't find herself stuffed in a refrigerator by The Joker.

The first act of The Killing Joke is an original tale, narrated by Barbara, about her exciting nights swinging across Gotham's rooftops at the side of the Batman. They are, by Batman's definition, "partners but not equals," which makes her bristle. He is her mentor, her teacher (she describes him as her "yoga instructor" to her gay best friend in her civilian life), her crimefighting supervisor and... more. The Killing Joke pushes the envelope when Batgirl submits to her sexual attraction to Batman and they have sex on a rooftop under the watchful eyes of one of Gotham City's many gargoyles. This type of adult topic, and its myriad emotional complications, is an awkward fit for an animated superhero movie, and The Killing Joke ends up rather laughable for the attempt. As she deals with her hots for Batman, and his distancing himself from her because of it, she in turn is the unwilling object of the affections of an upstart crime boss named "Paris Franz." (Seriously.) Paris' own henchmen don't get what he sees in "Batman's bitch," but this is an obsession that nearly claims the lives of Batgirl and Batman. Batgirl finally beating Paris nearly to death but stopping herself just short of "crossing into the abyss" is a Phyrric victory. It only gets worse for Batgirl from there.

In both the graphic novel and the movie, The Joker pays a visit to Barbara Gordon's apartment ands shoots her without warning in the gut. She is paralyzed from the waist down. But The Joker isn't done; he disrobes Barbara and photographs her nude, bleeding, injured body. (The graphic novel implies The Joker also rapes her. The movie thankfully does not; rather it substitutes a scene of Batman interrogating prostitutes, who reveal The Joker's proclivities when he comes around as a paying customer. Yeesh.)  The Joker does all of this to torture Barbara's father, Commissioner James Gordon, into madness. He kidnaps the older Gordon, strips him nude, clamps BDSM gear onto him, and forces him to endure both a parade of his violated daughter's nude photographs and a grotesque song and dance number by The Joker in an abandoned carnival. As Barbara is hospitalized but survives, Batman spends the bulk of The Killing Joke playing catch up; his status as the World's Greatest Detective is suspect. The Joker literally sends an invitation to Batman to the abandoned carnival for their fateful encounter.

The Killing Joke also serves as a de facto origin for The Joker, though The Joker himself admits sometimes he "remembers things differently." But according to The Killing Joke, the man who would become The Joker was once a failed stand up comedian who resorted to a one-time night of crime as "The Red Hood" to earn enough money to move his pregnant wife and unborn child out of their grungy Gotham flophouse. When an accident claims their lives, he's forced to be the Red Hood anyway. As he led his criminal cohorts through a chemical factory (for some reason, the gangsters wanted to rob a playing card factory next door), the Batman's interference caused him to fall into a vat of chemicals, transforming him into The Joker. This origin from the graphic novel would form the basis of how Jack Nicholson's Jack Napier became The Joker in Tim Burton's 1989 Batman film.

The riveting words of Alan Moore paired with the evocative artwork by Brian Bolland made this story scintillating on the page. Moore and Bolland managed to generate a degree of sympathy for The Joker but as an animated movie, the stark emotions and tragedy play rote and feel limp. The celebrated talents of Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill, returning to voice Batman and The Joker, give a gung ho effort. Tara Strong as Batgirl heroically manages to provoke the necessary pathos and emotional heft. The Killing Joke takes pains to note in a denouement that Barbara Gordon does overcome her handicap, becoming both a hero and a symbol as the superhero information network Oracle. While The Killing Joke is no laughing matter, it does end with a joke, and the way Hamill delivers the punchline, his zinger surprisingly generates a genuine laugh from the audience. But sympathy for The Joker? Or for this movie? That's a laugh.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

** SPOILERS **

"Bruce Wayne meets Clark Kent! I love bringing people together!"

"Must there be a Superman?" asks Jim Lehrer, one of the many real life talking heads debating what's to be done about the presence of the Man of Steel on Earth. "Is it really surprising that the most powerful man in the world is a figure of controversy?" Controversy about Superman, his intentions, his actions, and how to stop him if he ever decides to "burn the whole place down" forms the crux of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, director Zack Snyder's grand operatic follow up to his controversial re-introduction of Superman, Man of Steel. Working from a robust, sly, bursting at the seams screenplay by Oscar winner Chris Terrio and David Goyer that ponders the history, fear and worship of gods and pulls key moments from Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns" and Dan Jurgens' "The Death of Superman," Batman v Superman works overtime to fulfill its aggressive agenda: establishing the greater DC Comics cinematic universe as a muscular powder keg of hard choices, numerous threats at home and from worlds beyond, and burgeoning hope -- but only after our heroes get slugging each other out of their systems. We find the Batman v Superman universe is one simply unprepared and at heart terrified of the aliens, gods and monsters suddenly thrust upon them, but really, no more than we would be in real life. Just like the Batman, if something like Superman came to our real world, rather than embrace him as a savior, we'd probably also be looking for a fight.

Two years have passed since the destruction of Metropolis at the conclusion of Man of Steel. The city has been rebuilt and has publicly embraced Superman as a hero, a sentiment spearheaded by the Daily Planet, which just happens to have Superman's girlfriend Lois Lane (Amy Adams) and Superman himself, in his daily guise as Clark Kent (Henry Cavill), writing "puff pieces" about Superman. However, numerous people in Metropolis and around the world don't feel quite so cuddly about the Man of Steel. The primary voice of dissent is Senator Finch (Holly Hunter), a junior senator from Kentucky hell-bent on holding hearings on Superman and bringing him in front of their committee to account for his actions. Though Superman continues to perform heroic feats and rescues around the world, all of his acts come under fire, and then literally when Superman finally relents to appear at the Capitol in Washington, DC, only to be framed in a terrorist bombing that kills Finch and hundreds of innocents. Poor Superman. Not only is his reputation repeatedly called into question, but Terrio and Goyer's screenplay gives him no opportunity to publicly defend himself. This Superman isn't like Christopher Reeve's smiling, media friendly Man of Steel who gave a revealing interview to Lois that would bring the public onto his side. "Superman was never real. He's just a dream of a farmer from Kansas," Clark confides to Lois at his lowest point of self-pity. Trying to be an old fashioned do-gooder in a world that suspects his every action ("It's not 1938 anymore!"), Cavill's beleaguered Superman must resort to having to contort his handsome face into every frown and scowl he can muster.

Speaking of frowns and scowls, we learn that billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck), who secretly spends his dark nights terrorizing Gotham City's criminals as the Batman, was in Metropolis on "The Day The World Met The Superman." Wayne had a ground's eye view of Superman and General Zod (Michael Shannon) wrecking Metropolis in their epic encounter, feeling an unfamiliar and disquieting utter helplessness as two alien gods demolished Wayne Tower and left a trail of death and destruction in their wake. Meanwhile, the DC Universe's other most famous billionaire, Lex Luthor (a malevolently unhinged Jesse Eisenberg), has his own machinations, involving an elaborate, unwieldy scheme to frame Superman for an international incident, a mysterious green meteorite, Kryptonite, that can kill Kryptonians, and files in his hard drive that both Bruce Wayne and the mysterious Diana Prince (Gal Gadot), the Amazon princess the world will soon come to know as Wonder Woman, want to abscond with. But first and foremost, the Batman, depicted in this latest cinematic incarnation as older, more world-wearily cynical, and more brutally violent than ever ("Twenty years in Gotham, Alfred. How many good guys are left? How many stayed that way?"), wants to pick a fight with Superman.

"That's how it starts. The fever. The rage. The feeling of powerlessness that turns good men cruel," warns Alfred (Jeremy Irons), Wayne's acid-tongued faithful butler. But Wayne, driven by mysterious dreams of a dark future where Superman rules the world and brings winged alien demon armies from the skies, is set upon his course to take down the Kryptonian, training like Rocky Balboa for a big fight he desperately wants to win. Clark Kent himself is just as interested in the Batman, the fearsome vigilante across the bay in Gotham City who now brands criminals with the mark of the bat. Their super fight, manipulated by Luthor, who kidnapped Superman's adoptive human mother Martha Kent (Diane Lane) and threatens to have her killed if Superman doesn't sanction the Batman, is indeed epic and entertaining. The fight precisely follows the comic book tropes that the Batman, clad in his bulky battle armor, would set numerous traps and use Superman's overconfidence in his powers against him, including doses of Kryptonite gas to weaken Superman so that Batman, the superior fighter, can deliver the smackdown. #WhoWillWin? asked the social media marketing for weeks. Well, this fight is purely for the comic book fans and not the layman who would naturally assume Superman would wipe the floor with Batman. One of the most clever bits of Terrio and Goyer's screenplay is what ends the fight, the name "Martha," acknowledging and playing into one of the weird coincidences that Superman and Batman share -- both their mothers are named Martha.

Once Superman and Batman have made their peace, Batman v Superman goes for broke, turning giddily, unapologetically comic book and never looking back. Luthor unleashes his worst creation, the "Kryptonian deformity" called Doomsday, a giant, unstoppable monster genetically engineered from General Zod's corpse and Luthor's own DNA. In the same way the presence of Bane in The Dark Knight Rises signaled to comic book fans in the know that Batman's back would be broken, Doomsday means only one, inevitable thing to Superman fans. But first, Superman and a rather outmatched Batman must team up to fight Doomsday, and they're joined by Wonder Woman, who utterly steals the show in a long awaited, sensational cinematic debut for the most famous female superhero in the world. The few moments of Wonder Woman thrusting herself into battle against Doomday, blocking his heat vision with her bracelets, hacking his limbs off with her sword, and unleashing her magic lasso are worth the price of admission and ensured an eager opening weekend audience for her upcoming solo feature film in 2017. The battle sees Superman rocket Doomsday into outer space, only to be nuked by the US Military (a moment also borrowed from "The Dark Knight Returns"), while Batman and Lois Lane scramble to recover a Kryptonite spear, Batman's coup de grace weapon intended for Superman before cooler heads prevailed. By the time Superman makes the ultimate sacrifice to stop Doomsday, we're spent, the dreams of millions of comic book fans fulfilled.

"I failed him in life. I won't fail him in death," mourns Wayne, who finally comes to see he was wrong about the alien he's hated for the last couple of years. Both Wayne and Diana Prince attend Superman's funeral in Smallville, Kansas (actually Clark Kent's funeral, who was mysteriously killed during the super fight with Doomsday in what no one sees as a hilarious coincidence -- Superman's official funeral is a public military burial in Washington, DC.)  Setting up next year's superhero team up, Justice League, Batman v Superman literally stops the show by unleashing the files Batman stole from Luthor, giving the audience glimpses of Jason Momoa as Aquaman, Ray Fisher as Cyborg (his father, the scientist Silas Stone is played by a cleverly cast Joe Morton), and Ezra Miller as The Flash. As Batman, Affleck creates an ideal, grim, weary Dark Knight, arguably even the best cinematic Batman ever, silencing the millions who took umbrage over his casting on social media. (Incidentally, Batman reassuring Martha Kent "I'm a friend of your son's" is the best line in the whole movie. "I figured," she retorts. "The cape.") Gadot is a stunning revelation as Wonder Woman, regal, beautiful, and ferocious in battle. Both now own their superhero roles. Even without Cavill's Superman, the upcoming Justice League movie is in good hands with Affleck and Gadot leading the charge. But who are we kidding? Superman will return, of course, as subtly teased in the final shot of Batman v Superman. There is and will be no world without a Superman. Maybe when the Man of Steel does return, the world will be a lot nicer to him. But for now, let Superman rest in peace. He's earned it. After all, as quoted in Man of Steel, a good death is its own reward.

Justice League: Gods and Monsters

JUSTICE LEAGUE: GODS AND MONSTERS

** SPOILERS **

The DC Comics Multiverse more often than not allows for alternate realities that can be more interesting than the mainstream "core" DC Universe. Justice League: Gods and Monsters, a brand new tale created for DC Animation (with spin off comics based on this universe, naturally), introduces us to one such alternate reality, and it's got a lot of potential. In Gods and Monsters, the Justice League is boiled down to the so-called Trinity: Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, in a wholly original, violent, and fascinating take on the three icons unlike any we've seen before. Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Princess Diana, where for art thou? Apparently, in this reality, nowhere, that's where. It's not a bad thing at all.

Superman (voiced by Benjamin Bratt) is the son of Lara and General Zod(!), who imbued his DNA into the Kryptonian birthing matrix instead of Jor-El just before the Last Son of Krypton was rocketed to Earth. The baby Superman was found not by the Kents but by a Mexican migrant couple and was raised with the name Hernan Guerra. Dios mio! The Batman (voiced by Michael C. Hall) is Kirk Langstrom, who is a half-man/half-bat villain named Man-Bat (naturally) in the main DC Universe, but here, he is our Dark Knight -- and he's a vampire, to boot! Wonder Woman (voiced by Tamara Taylor) is a princess of sorts, but she's no Amazon. She is Bekka from New Genesis, a power sword-wielding granddaughter of Highfather of the New Gods (voiced by Richard Chamberlain!). Best of all, this Wonder Woman's history is a cracking good Game of Thrones-style spin on the New Gods: She was engaged to Darkseid's son Orion as a consummation of a peace treaty between Apokolips and New Genesis, but it was all a sinister plot by a surprisingly sinister Highfather to "Red Wedding" Darkseid and his forces -- and it worked! 

Gods and Monsters limits the superheroes to the Trinity and doesn't explain how they came together as the Justice League, but all three get plenty of exploration of their origins. We literally watch Superman born from a zygote into an infant child on his journey to Earth. Batman's origin plays an integral part in the main plot: Langstrom went to college with Will Magnus, the robotics genius who creates the Metal Men in the main DC Universe. In Gods and Monsters, Magnus is a nanotech expert (with deep seeded feelings of jealousy and inadequacy). Magnus' nanotech seemed to hold the key to Langstrom's life's work, but ingesting his own bat serum transformed Langstrom into a vampire. How this vampire became the crimefighting Batman is a tale for another day. 

If you're a DC nerd really into the various brilliant and mad scientists of the DC Universe (guilty), God and Monsters is a veritable Who's Who: Victor Fries, Ray Palmer, John Henry Irons, Thaddeus Sivana, Kimiyo Hoshi, T.O. Morrow, Michael Holt, Silas Stone, and more -- they're all here, but not in their superheroic or villainous guises. Something called "Project Fair Play" is the impetus for the main plot, in which the Justice League is framed for the systematic murders of these scientists by robot assassins, all of whom were proteges of the mysterious Lex Luthor (voiced by Jason Isaacs). There are greater issues at play as well: the ultra violent nature of the Justice League is constantly under public scrutiny in the media, mainly by fearless reporter Lois Lane (voiced by Paget Brewster), who is far from Superman's biggest fan. The League's official status as government operatives turns sour with these murders, and they become public enemies under orders from President Amanda Waller (Penny Johnson Jerald). 

Justice League: Gods and Monsters takes DC Animation's "not necessarily, if at all, for kids" style and pushes it even further. With the League basically remorseless killing machines, the violence level is higher than ever. Wholesale slaughter is the League's M.O., but their mysterious enemies are even worse. Gods and Monsters doesn't shy away from depicting animals and even children gruesomely massacred. And yet, when all is said and done, Gods and Monsters takes on a surprisingly hopeful tone as Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman, the most powerful and feared beings on Earth, choose to take up a position against killing in the future. It turns out gods and monsters can learn, grow, and change in Gods and Monsters. Maybe that S on Superman's belt buckle does mean "hope" after all.

Batman vs. Robin

BATMAN VS. ROBIN

** SPOILERS **

The toughest challenge for a costumed billionaire crimefighter isn't so much protecting Gotham City from an endless parade of murderous psychopaths, it's trying to keep his own baby boy from becoming one of those very murderous psychopaths. Batman vs. Robin, a dynamic, triumphant sequel to last year's Son of Batman, continues the coming of age story of the ferocious Damian Wayne (Stuart Allan), 10 year old heir to both the Wayne family fortune and the legacy of Ra's al-Ghul, and the new Robin the Boy Wonder. Since accepting the mantle of Robin, Damian, an arrogant, dangerous, conflicted soul, hasn't had an easy time adapting to his father's brand of justice. "Justice, not vengeance," is the Batman's meme-ready mantra, which he finds drilled in his head and ringing in his ears when he single-handedly uncovers a child kidnapping and mutilation ring and captures a ghastly rouge called the Dollmaker (voiced by Weird Al Yankovic!) Robin stays his hand and his razor sharp batarang from the killing stroke, only to find the Dollmaker sanctioned by a new bird-themed costumed killer in town - the Talon (Jeremy Sisto).

Batman vs. Robin loosely adapts the blockbuster "Court of Owls" storyline from the best selling The New 52 Batman comic series by the dynamic duo of Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo. The most intriguing and successful new addition to the Batman mythos, the Court of Owls are a centuries old secret society nested firmly in Gotham comprised of its wealthiest and most prominent citizens, all of whom, men, women and children, wear pallid owl masks, even when dining or conducting cryogenic experiments in their underground labs. The Court are a legend; thought to merely be a nursery rhyme used to scare young children, but they are in fact very real -- and have been secretly controlling Gotham's fate since the city was raised. It seems Bruce Wayne (Jason O'Mara) is the only wealthy son of Gotham who'd been unaware the Court actually existed before now, when the Court kidnaps him and finally offers him a mask of his own, not suspecting Wayne prefers bat masks to bird masks. Wayne plants a tracking device in the mask to later locate the Court's nest, but it really doesn't seem necessary -- if you want to find the Court of Owls, you can start by scoping out the sinister mansion on the outskirts of Gotham with the owl statues all over it. 

Little does Wayne suspect the Talon, one of the Court's private army of assassins, has plans to steal his son Damian away and recruit him as his own sidekick, since, you know, the kid's both an amazing warrior and already dressed like a bird. The Talon sees a lot of himself in Damian; all the best assassins have daddy issues, and the Talon explains he himself was once apprentice to a master thief, his father, whom he didn't see eye to eye with. The Talon also balks at the Court's plan to kill and then cryogenically freeze him, ready to be resurrected at their whim to do their killing. Can't blame Talon there. After Batman is overwhelmed and nearly killed by the Court of Owls and Robin ultimately rejects his offer to become the less catchy team of Talon and Robin, the Talon decides to go on a rampage and massacres the mighty Court himself. This would seem to solve Batman's Owl problems, but Talon unleashes an even bigger one when he releases the dozens of other Talon assassins on an assault on Wayne Manor and the Batcave. This rousing sequence is straight out of the comics (though smaller in scope than the all-out attack on Gotham that utilized the entire Bat family of characters). Batman, Alfred, and Nightwing (Sean Maher) engage in a brutal battle against the Talons where Batman dons a giant suit of Bat armor that would make Tony Stark call his lawyers.

Despite all the owl madness, the focus of Batman vs. Robin is strongly on Damian Wayne and the external and internal battle for his betterment. Damian does fight his father mano e boy wonder-o as the movie's title implies and it's fascinating to see both Damian overcome the Batman and Batman's strategies on how to physically handle someone of Damian's size and capabilities without harming his son. Damian threatens to strike out on his own more than once, but always by keeping the suit and weapons his father gave him. Batman vs. Robin continues the DC Animation push for more adult fare in these animated movies. The violence is ultra - we see Batman and Nightwing repeatedly stabbed bloody, the Court of Owls hacked to bits (even the little children in the Court), and even the Talon's demise is a sai to the throat that would make Elektra from Marvel Comics nod with satisfaction. There's even a little sprinkling of sexual innuendo when Dick Grayson practically pops a boner on the phone with "Kory" (Starfire from the Titans) over which thong she's wearing. The animation is stunning, especially every time the Batmobile is in play, whether roaring through Gotham's streets or being used as a battering ram against the armored Batman. Bruce doesn't really overcome his deficiencies as a father to Damian, who ultimately chooses a path that echoes the one Bruce ventured on to become Batman. Though the boy could save the future of Gotham or be its demise, Batman vs. Robin finds rays of hope for Damian Wayne. He's the Robin we deserve, but maybe not the one we need right now...

I, too, am a member of the Court of Owls.
Seen here with their creator Scott Snyder at San Diego Comic Con 2013

Justice League: Throne of Atlantis

JUSTICE LEAGUE: THRONE OF ATLANTIS

** SPOILERS **

The Justice League meets Game of Thrones in Justice League: Throne of Atlantis and it isn't all wet. Following up last year's Justice League: War, which introduced a younger, rawer The New 52 Animated Universe version of the World's Greatest Superheroes, this time Superman (voiced by Jerry O'Connell), Batman (Jason O'Mara), Wonder Woman (Rosario Dawson), and their super friends encounter a challenge from beneath the deep blue seas. Throne of Atlantis plunges us into the origin of Aquaman (Matt Lanter), a boozing, orphaned, superpowered lighthouse keeper who has no idea he is destined to become the King of the Seven Seas. Aquaman finds out in rapid-fire fashion who he is and how he came to be heir to the throne of the undersea kingdom of Atlantis when he and the League are swept up in the nefarious schemes of Aquaman's ruthless, pure-blooded half brother Orm (Sam Witwer), the self-styled Ocean Master, who wants to rule Atlantis and destroy the surface world. 

Adapted from the comic series penned by Geoff Johns and also incorporating elements from Johns' "Aquaman" comic series, Throne of Atlantis reveals that Aquaman is the "son of two worlds." He was born to Atlanna (Sirena Irwin), the princess of Atlantis, who came to Mercy Reef, Maine when "she was very young," and fell in love with Thomas Curry, a guy who owned a lighthouse. After their son Arthur was born, Atlanna bailed on her surface family to take her place as Queen of Atlantis and speak all of her dialogue in loud, haughty royal exposition. Arthur never seemed to realize he has gills and can breathe underwater and didn't bother to find out why he has super strength and endurance until, as an adult, he started getting attacked by armored soldiers from the sea and humanoid fish monsters from "the Trench." Arthur also never questioned why his best friend was a lobster whom he could communicate with. Yes, Aquaman can talk to and command fish, and it's an awesome power, shut up. Aquaman is aided by his new hot redheaded Atlantean bodyguard Mera (Sumalee Montano), who is destined to be his bride, and boy, did those two not waste any time seeking that destiny.

Meanwhile, the Justice League is a team in name only, not having officially assembled since they repelled the invasion by Darkseid in the previous movie. Superman and Wonder Woman start to get romantic, commiserating as only two lonely demigods can, going on dates in Greek diners while incognito wearing glasses. ("I can't believe this works!" Wonder Woman gasps. Neither can logic.) Cyborg (Shemar Moore) also has sparks flying with his STAR Labs assistant. The more juvenile members of the League like Shazam (Sean Astin) and Green Lantern (Nathan Fillion) find all this mushy stuff kinda icky pants. There's a retread of one of the most unwelcome aspects of Justice League: War where Green Lantern again makes an ass out of himself interfering in one of Batman's Gotham investigations, but it is kept to a minimum this time around. The Flash (Christopher Gorham) is in this movie too, by the way, but he doesn't contribute much to this mission besides some cool super speed action. Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen also get in some screen time and for some extra fan service, there's a cameo by John Henry Irons, setting up his inspiration to becoming the armored, sledgehammer swinging Steel. Superman and Batman also set aside some time to do a team up detective side mission where Superman bristles at Batman's condescension. "I am an investigative reporter, you know," Superman reminds Batman, who bizarrely retorts, "Journalism's dead."

When the Justice League does hit the water with Aquaman, they find themselves immersed in Game of Thrones-lite Atlantean family politics, complete with the alien, the space cop, the robot, the boy who says the magic word, etc. scoffing at how "impossible" it is Atlantis exists. Orm, with help from armored pirate Black Manta (Harry Lennix), who somehow is assumed to have the ability to open diplomatic negotiations -- with the Justice League, mind you, not with any government or the UN -- decides to stab his mother in the back, literally, and take the throne of Atlantis for himself. Orm immediately leads an invasion of the surface world, Metropolis, specifically. (The invasion is considerably scaled down from how multiple cities, including Metropolis, Gotham, and Boston were attacked by Atlantis in the comics, and the mighty tidal wave Orm raises is purely for show. Orm hardly brings a massive army with him either; just a few dozen soldiers and some vehicles.) What ultimately drowns Orm's short, eventful reign as king of Atlantis is his big blabber mouth. Cyborg recorded him bragging about killing his mother and seeing that footage is enough to make the Atlantean forces lay down their arms and turn on their new king. What's utterly bizarre is Aquaman's speech about how they should all accept him as their king, because he's their "beacon of hope." Mind you, these Atlanteans had no idea who Aquaman was or that he even existed before that moment. Plus Aquaman immediately starts making out with Mera in front of the troops. But sure, he's the king, now, whatever, let's go home. No punishment for attacking Metropolis!

And yet, Throne of Atlantis marks an improvement over the previous Justice League installment. The superhero action is entertaining and at its best can be summed up in five words: Superman. Fights. Giant. Sea. Monster. When unleashed against the cannibalistic creatures from the Trench, the Justice League gives no quarter, not even Batman, whose "no killing" rule apparently doesn't apply to sea monsters, judging from how he explodes them with missiles from his Batplane. While Wonder Woman and Mera engage in sword-to-trident combat with the Atlantean soldiers, Green Lantern uses his Power Ring to whip up a nifty giant robot to vacuum up those pesky fish folk. Cyborg's famed white noise cannon works wonders against Atlanteans, but if one has questions about just how much white noise would affect the equilibrium of people who are aquatic -- move along, there's more punching to be done. The single best moment of Throne of Atlantis validates how great Aquaman's power to talk to fish is via how he uses it to end Black Manta (Samuel L. Jackson in Deep Blue Sea can relate.) The infuriating characterizations and interplay between the Leaguers is toned down; all of the superheroes come off as reasonably more competent and less insufferable than they did in Justice League: War. In the end, Aquaman is both installed as King of Atlantis and joins the Justice League, as he must. He certainly boasts the necessary trapezius muscles to be in this Justice League. The heroes decide to make being the world's greatest super team a more permanent thing, and for the best reasons possible, because they - and we - don't want to miss "whatever weird thing" happens next.