Get The F Out

Time Magazine ranked WWE as number 7 on their list of 10 Worst Corporate Name Changes.

Time glibly states: [In 2002] the company changed its name to World Wrestling Entertainment Inc., or WWE. "Our new name puts the emphasis on the E for entertainment, what our company does best," said CEO Linda McMahon in a press release at the time. The comment didn't do much to stamp out persistent rumors that the fights are rigged — but hey, at least she was honest.

It's 2010, but hey, Time Magazine still thinks the pre-determinated nature of sports entertainment that has been public knowledge for a decade and was openly displayed in the Academy Award nominated film The Wrestler are "rumors" that the "fights" are "rigged."

That's pathetic.

A more credible reason why WWE deserves to be included in the list is that 8 years after the name change, WWE is still referred to more often than not as "the WWF" in idle conversation. Hell, if I'm not talking to a wrestling fan, even I say "the WWF" to avoid a furrowed brow, a look of confusion, and having to launch into an explanation.

In addition, WWE is referred to constantly, even by WWE employees including Vince McMahon on television, as "the WWE", which is incorrect. It's not The World Wrestling Entertainment as it was The World Wrestling Federation. So that's another problem as the unconscious desire to call WWE "the WWF" still exists.

Regardless, Time Magazine decided to focus on "rigged fights" and WWE not being "honest".  That's world-class analysis, Time.

Time Magazine blows.

An Education (***1/2)

AN EDUCATION

 ** SPOILERS **

Lovely, clever, charming film about a lovely, clever, charming English school girl, played by Carey Mulligan, meeting an affluent older playboy, played by Peter Sarsgaard, who broadens her horizons in ways she only dreamed of.  An Education is a persuasive time machine, whisking the audience to London, Oxford, and Paris circa 1961, the glamorous dawn of the jet age in Europe. On the outset, An Education seems to be a forbidden romance between Mulligan and Sarsgaard but it's no such thing. Indeed, beyond infatuation and sexual desire on Sarsgaard's part, there's hardly a love story between the two leads, with Mulligan regarding Sarsgaard more as a practical choice and gateway to a more rewarding, glamorous life. The true romance of An Education is between Mulligan and the potential of a whole world of possibilities in life that bloom for her. An Education is effusive with the issues of status and class, as well as the choices and disappointments Mulligan faces as a girl growing up in post-war England. It's difficult to blame Mulligan's infatuation with the jet-set lifestyle of posh restaurants, jazz clubs, and jaunts to Paris seductively offered by Sarsgaard when it all seems to come so easily, compared to how dreadfully dull matriculating at Oxford and studying English seems by comparison. That Sarsgaard he isn't quite all he seems to be is obvious from the start. Saarsgard comes off as such a forked-tongued snake oil salesman that it's no surprise when he turns out to be far less than ideal.  The rather abrupt way the final few minutes of An Education wraps up the problems Mulligan faces is the film's only failing. The performances are terrific; the radiant, 25 year old Mulligan deserves her Best Actress Oscar nomination. Mulligan is ably supported by Olivia Williams as her English instructor, Emma Thompson as the headmistress of her school, and Alfred Molina as her stern but doting father who finds himself as charmed as his daughter is by Sarsgaard's savoir-faire.

Smallville: Absolute Justice

SMALLVILLE: ABSOLUTE JUSTICE

ROLL CALL: (Here we go. This'll take a while.)

SUPERMAN! CHLOE SULLIVAN! LOIS LANE! TESS MERCER! ZOD! (Not present) THE GREEN ARROW!
Special DC Universe guest stars:
THE MARTIAN MANHUNTER!
and
THE JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA: HAWKMAN! DR. FATE! STARGIRL! STAR SPANGLED KID! THE SANDMAN!
With special mentions of:
THE GREEN LANTERN! THE FLASH! HAWKGIRL! WILDCAT! THE ATOM! BLACK CANARY I! HOURMAN! MR. TERRIFIC! STRIPSEY!
Special guest villains:
ICICLE II! ICICLE I! (comatose)
and representing CHECKMATE! (and THE SUICIDE SQUAD!):
AMANDA WALLER! (Pam Grier is... Amanda Waller.)

Smallville: Absolute Justice was the happiest two hours of television a DC Comics nerd could ever experience.Watching Absolute Justice was like my collection of DC Who's Who exploding into my TV. That was the most hardcore, steeped in comic book lore, two hour geekout ever seen on television.

The Justice Society was there in all their four color glory, as much as a TV budget and logistics would allow. The Brownstone, the round table, the props from all the superheroes who were part of the team.

My favorite moment was after Dr. Fate teleported Clark to the Brownstone and Clark pulled the sheets off all of the memorabilia and the Justice Society painting. They panned the painting and showed footage of each character, but when they got to the right side of the painting that had Black Canary, Hourman, and Mr. Terrific, they stopped. Uh, we don't have any footage of them. Also, there's already a Smallville version of Black Canary so... we don't wanna explain... Why don't we just move on?
 

Clark used his X-ray vision to see the Dr. Fate helmet crazy Kent Nelson kept in the satchel while he was in the Brownstone the first time, but then later during a pow-wow with Chloe, he tells her they're definitely hiding something. Yeah, if only Clark had used his X-ray vision on the rest of the Brownstone. That's our Clark. Always thinkin'.

I liked how the classic comic book method of pairing the heroes off in groups of two happened. Hawkman and Green Arrow, Dr. Fate and Martian Manhunter, Chloe and Stargirl.

The news footage Clark and Chloe watched of the Society members being arrested in the violent, black and white 1970s was very amusing. Too bad the black guy with the big afro they showed for a moment wasn't Black Lightning.

Hawkman was intent on out raspy voicing Christian Bale's Batman. Also, his wings seem to be more decorative than useful because they don't flap or anything to let him fly. Reminded me of the Hawkmen in Flash Gordon (on purpose?) I loved when he broke down Green Arrow's method of not sharing his life with anyone and holding them at a distance by "acting like a jackass."

Dr. Fate was well done. I liked his reading everyone's fates, telling Clark about how when he reveals himself to the world, we'll all "look up in the sky" at his example. His cryptic message to Chloe that she will walk down his path, or something, was interesting. But then he went down like a bitch.

The best Stargirl moment for me was her talk with Chloe about how the Watchtower is technologically sufficient but lacks the qualities of a home that would bring her disparate Justice League together as a family.

J'onn J'onzz is all Martian again! And we got to see him for a brief moment as the big, beetle-browed green gumby in the comics. I liked the costume nod to his comic book look and his line about growing to love cookies.

I wish we got to see the dinner with Chloe, Green Arrow, and Martian Manhunter. I wonder if they had more discussions on how to make their Superfriends more like a family and not just get together when they have Troubalerts.

Of all the superhero props in the Brownstone, the best one by far was the JSA's computer.

Amanda Waller recruited Lois Lane to be part of Checkmate, or at least an informant. Plus we find out Tess Mercer is a Checkmate agent. (I wonder if she ever wore the black and gold costume?) Waller wants all the superheroes to reveal themselves so she can utilize them against the coming apocalypse. Or is that spelled 'Apokalips'?

Really, the only thing I disliked was the actor who played the Icicle. He was just terrible, and that's saying something for Smallville. I liked when Waller said "Welcome to the Suicide Squad!" and shot him in the head. Technically, suicide would be if he took his own life. That's really homicide, what Waller did.

Next week: annataZ ta noC-cimoC.

Ratings Update: http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/​2010/​02/​06/​smallville-​ratings-​absolute-​justice/​

Smallville scores its season best ratings and gave The CW its best Friday night in over a year, according to the article.

Smallville isn't drawing the 4-5 million it used to its heyday, but for a show in its 9th season airing on Friday nights, relatively speaking, it's still Super strong. (Smallville is also one of the most DVR'd shows, averaging a 28% increase when DVR is factored in.)

I can't imagine how Absolute Justice's ratings won't equal a 10th season. The CW should pay Tom Welling whatever he wants to come back; he's been The WB/The CW's biggest star for almost a whole decade now and he continues to deliver.

Lost 6x1, 6x2 - "LA X, Parts 1 and 2"

Sayid Jarrah, I presume? Or is that Jacob inhabiting Sayid's body the way the Smoke Monster is walking around as John Locke?

"It worked." I take Juliet's last words to mean that by detonating the bomb, the flash created a concurrent spin off, Not Lost, where the original Oceanic 815ers minus Shannon, all got to LA and get to have all new adventures where some of them still randomly meet each other.

The shot of the Island underwater was awesome.

What I don't get is if it's 2004 again in Not Lost, why is Jack's hair long? Why doesn't he have a buzz cut? (I hope the answer isn't "We couldn't figure out a wig for Matthew Fox to wear on Lost, so we didn't buzz his hair in the Not Lost scenes.)

The flash also set Juliet to a new life in New York as an FBI agent and single mom leading a resistance against alien lizard Visitors.

I liked that they worked in Frogurt and Arzt. And I liked that even in an alternate life, Boone and Locke got to meet and had a brief little friendship that didn't get Boone killed (yet?). And in this life or the next, the Marshal is still a gigantic tool. But why was Desmond on Oceanic 815 flying from Sydney to LA?

I was also trying to follow the logic of why, if Hurley, Jin, Kate, and Jack were hoping to bring dying Sayid to the Temple for a crazy magical cure, they didn't bring Juliet's corpse for the same crazy magical cure? The easy answers are Sawyer wouldn't hear of it and Jacob didn't say nuthin' to Hurley about bringing Juliet's body along, but still.

I like that even after all this time, there are still elaborate locations on the Island to newly discover. The Temple set was cool and I liked the one armed skeleton of the Frenchman still in the tunnels. Though for some reason the Others in the Temple still dress like Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. How does Others hierarchy work where some get assigned to lead cushy barrack lives while others live in the Temple of Doom and wear rags?

I have to say, I never saw it coming nor had any thought in the direction that the Smoke Monster is a person and is in fact the nemesis of Jacob. That was a great reveal. But when Sayid, Jack, Kate, and Jin were in the Temple tunnels and they saw the Frenchman's corpse, Jin said "the smoke monster" got him. I've completely lost track of which characters have seen the smoke monster and know it's a smoke monster. Won't they be surprised when they find out more about the smoke monster.

The day-for-night changes were weird. Sayid was laying in the van dying for an awfully long time while the others got the mess with Juliet in the hole sorted out. Same with Richard and the group waiting outside the Four Toed Foot, hanging there clueless long after the team Elena sent in were murdered by Smoke Locke.

I can probably think of more questions but the promo for next episode said THE TIME FOR QUESTIONS IS OVER. So okay, I guess I'll just happily eat up the answers.

I'm just so GD happy to have Lost back for this final season.

Edge of Darkness (***)

EDGE OF DARKNESS

"Everything's illegal in Massachusetts."

** SPOILERS **

Just about everything Mel Gibson does in Edge of Darkness is illegal in Massachusetts. Older, craggier, and sadder, Mel plays a Boston police detective whose daughter, apple of his eye though they haven't seen eye to eye in years, is shotgunned down at his doorstep. Mel swears revenge, and gets it. Sounds like a simple story, like Taken, but unlike Liam Neeson's relatively straightforward "murder half of the Paris underworld to find my kidnapped daughter" actioner, Edge of Darkness plunges Mel into a labyrinthine investigation involving a shadowy corporation called Northmoor, which may or may not be supplying nuclear weapons to enemy nations (it does) with US Government complicity (it is), and who may or may not have been responsible for the execution of Mel's daughter and her tree-hugging hippie "terrorist" chums (they are). Edge of Darkness doesn't play like a taut, wind-up toy; Mel's bereaved cop pursues his investigation at a somber pace, driving around Boston and Western Massachusetts trying to track down his daughter's friends and associates while staving off a psychotic breakdown. To the filmmakers' credit, Mel's movements around the Boston area mostly make logistical sense, though the location of Northmoor headquarters seems to shift from Western Mass. to the North Shore halfway through the movie. The languid pace of Mel's detective work is rocked at regular intervals by stunningly shift, knock-you-out-of-your-chair, brutal bursts of bloody violence. My favorite ultraviolent moment was Mel staring down a car about to run him over and emptying his beretta until the driver is dead and the car careens into a river. When Mel pays a visit to Danny Huston, the "insane" head of Northmoor, to find out more about what his daughter did for a living, he finds Northmoor headquarters to be a vast, multi-acre complex "leased from the US Government" that a James Bond villain would find himself right at home in.  At this point, it becomes clear that whatever Northmoor and the US Government agents, including Ray Winstone, who liaison with Huston are up to, it's too big for Mel's weary Boston cop to take on. I did enjoy how the G-Men scolded Huston for his methods of disposing of his enemies (radioactive gas and poison milk) and the headaches he creates by acting like a diabolical comic book super villain.  The filmmakers also seemed to understand that the plot was too much for a lone cop wanting someone to pay for his daughter's murder to handle. (Maybe if Danny Glover were there too, but he's nowhere to be found, sadly. No way Murtaugh would sell his partner out like Mel's friend does here.)  Fortunately, Edge of Darkness follows the classic Mel Gibson action playbook of how to handle bad guys: "No way you live." When Mel's done with the heavies, Winstone even picks up Mel's slack and keeps the violence coming, blowing away all of the movie's loose ends. 

The Soloist (**1/2)

THE SOLOIST

Robert Downey Jr. is on the roll of his career but in between Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes is The Soloist. Based on a true story, Downey plays an LA Times columnist who encounters Jamie Foxx, a mentally ill homeless man who was once a musical prodigy.  Along with discovering Foxx's life story and explaining how he flunked out of Julliard and ended up on the streets of LA, The Soloist also tries to shed some light on the plight of the homeless in Los Angeles. Much of the story takes place in a slum area reminiscent of "Hamsterdam" in season 3 of The Wire. Directed by Joe Wright (Atonement), The Soloist never seems clear about  what we're supposed to feel about the homeless, in general, and Foxx, specifically, besides basic pity.  The film tries to explain Foxx's schizophrenia but that somehow made Foxx's character less interesting. The flashbacks involving how Foxx fell in love with music as a boy were more compelling than the adult Foxx's plight. Downey, meanwhile, goes through a character arc where, during a quiet third act moment with his long-suffering editor and former lover Catherine Keener, he literally spells out what his character learns during the movie.  He then finds Foxx and spells it all out to him personally. One can tell everyone in The Soloist was fishing for Oscars, but they had a faulty rod.

Into the Wild (***)

INTO THE WILD

Into the Wild is a good movie. The direction by Sean Penn, the cinematography, the screenplay, the music by Pearl Jam, and the performances by Emile Hirsch, Jenna Malone, William Hurt, Marcia Gay Harden, Catherine Keener, Vince Vaughn, Hal Holbrook, and Kristen Stewart are all very fine. The problem with Into the Wild is that it's a good movie about a complete idiot. Into the Wild tells the true story of Christopher McCandless, a young man who abandoned society because he hates his parents to backpack across America, eventually ending up in Alaska after a year and a half.  Along the way he has some amazing adventures, sees breathtaking natural wonders, and meets both interesting and not-very-interesting hippies, tramps, and hobos, most of whom try to talk some sense into him about his life's ambition. Instead of listening to any of them, or any form of common sense, McCandless doggedly pursues this romantic idea he has of living in the wild as an FU to society. He doesn't last very long and in the end F's himself. Despite the very best efforts of the filmmakers to make McCandless' journey deep, meaningful and inspirational, this is a story of a young man throwing away his life. He "learns truths" along the way, the most "profound" of which dawns on him as he starves to death after eating poison berries. Fat lot of good any of those truths do him dead in a bus in the middle of Alaska. It's a damn shame.