Lost 6x17 - "The End"

The End. I scarcely know where to begin.

That finale was a love letter to those characters whom we've watched for six years. It was entirely about the characters and finding resolutions (and in Ben's case absolution) for them. It was also a love letter to everyone who stuck with Lost from the beginning.

The reward was not "answers", but callbacks. Symmetry, linking the finale to moments throughout the series and especially the pilot, right down to the last shot reversing the first shot of Lost.

Some of Lost's best episodes were the ones centered around Desmond and Penny's love story. For the finale, the love story was extended to everyone. I loved the way almost every character was awakened in the sideways universe by love and by finding their Island soulmate in the sideways.

I especially loved the juxtaposition of how on the Island, Jack is making the ultimate sacrifice by his newly accepted faith in his purpose, but sideways Jack was still the Man of Science, stubborn and resistant, the very last of the characters to accept Awakening..

I loved Jin and Sun Awakening and instantly remembering how to speak English, and then the amused looks on their faces when Detective James Ford, LAPD, came in to their room.

God, how great was it to have Juliet back? How happy was she to be back on Lost, away from Anna, Tyler, the Fifth fucking Column, and the godforsaken letter V? The Awakening of Juliet and Sawyer together was magical. (The mystery of "Who Is Sideways Jack's Wife?" was no mystery. It's Juliet. Moving on.)

Great to see Shannon and Boone again. Once he was Awakened, Sayid couldn't keep his paws off of Shannon. "Nadia? Who's Nadia? Look how hot Shannon is! I wanted to bang this girl for the two weeks I knew her until she died."

Even Smoke Locke's meta-dialogue echoed my contention that Jack was too obvious a choice. Hurley was the right choice. Having Hurley be the Island Protector, with dialogue from Ben to suggest that he did the job differently - and better than Jacob or his mother did - was the right call. And I don't need to know more than what we were provided for how that all panned out:

Hurley: "You were a great number two."
Ben: "You were a great number one."

I loved the choice of Hurley as the new Jacob, King of the Island. Because if there's one guy who would have spent the rest of his natural life asking all the "important" questions: "Dude, where'd the four toed statue come from? Dude, what's this temple for? Who built all this stuff and why?", it would have been the Island's resident sci-fi and comic book nerd. Ask Hurley all your questions. By the time he stepped into the white light with Libby, he probably had all the answers.

I loved that Ben couldn't go into the church, that he wasn't ready. He has the most to reconcile from his past, but he also has Rousseau and Alex in sideways, a do-over. And that one final Ben and Locke scene was joyous.

I also loved the explanation of the cuts on sideways Jack's neck and the gash in his side, from the knife fight atop the cliff with Smoke Locke, and how the Island reality was bleeding into the sideways reality literally.

Is there confusion? Why? It was very clear: Everything on the Island happened. The flashbacks happened. The flash forwards happened. The time travel happened. That was Lost, that was the show.

What we learned was the sideways reality wasn't sideways at all, it was a post-life do over for the characters, an idea (still with its flaws because people are flawed) of what could have been without the Island and Jacob, and the gateway to their actual reward for their losses, sacrifices, and their betterment, which was to be together with the people they loved.

So Lost bled into the sideways, which bled into the white light. Did I like the idea of the white light and the stairway to Heaven? Eh. But I can accept it. I love the characters and that was their reward. It's cool. (But I loved the happy cast wrap party in the church. If I'd been there, I'd have been hanging out at craft services. That's what I do.)

This doesn't even scratch the surface, but yeah, I'm satisfied. More than satisfied, I loved it.

Damon Lindelof and Carleton Cuse told a great story for six seasons, serviced the characters all throughout, and gave them a worthy end. That's really what they owed us and they delivered.I'm going to miss these characters. I'm going to miss this show. We were lucky to have Lost for the last six years. Lucky that what happened, happened.

See you in another life.

P.S. No one can kill Frank Lapidus!

Lost 6x16 - "What They Died For"

Penultimate Lost. So, who else is feeling anxious about how this is all going to end?

I don't have a lot of jokes. Sawyer told the best one: "I thought that guy had a God complex before."

Last week's episode was important, I guess, for showing the ritual of how the Island Protector mantle gets passed from one sucker to another. Jacob did the same ritual his fake mother Allison Janney did for him, so I guess it's official that Jack is King of the Island. There goes my theory that it would be Sawyer in a swerve. Unless it's still Sawyer in a swerve on Sunday.

The dialogue about the Light at the Heart of the Island was a little frustrating.

"Beyond the bamboo field, over the ridge, is the Heart of the Island."
"There's nothing out there."
"No no, there is now. I mean, it was always there."
Uh huh.

I'm powerful confused about the time that has elapsed in the episodes before last week. Because apparently, from the time Ben, Richard, and Miles broke off from the Candidates to destroy the Ajira plane, they spent forever getting to the Barracks while the Candidates reunited with Smoke Locke, Sawyer lead the commandeering of Desmond's boat, Jack jumped off Desmond's boat, the Candidates went to Hydra, got captured, Locke came to Hydra with Jack, they got on the sub, Jin and Sun and Sayid died, and the rest of the Candidates survived and went off to run into Jacob while Widmore and Zoe went to the Barracks. So while ALL THAT was going on, Ben, Richard and Miles were just walking to the Barracks?

Widmore did plant the C4 on the plane, three steps ahead of Ben's crew, who never even made it to Hydra.

I did like all the killin' in the closet. So long, Zoe. Ben and Widmore still hate each other's guts. "He doesn't get to save his daughter." Is Richard dead? I hope not. Where did Miles go?

I don't know how satisfied Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley must have felt from the answers they got while having their fireside chat with Jacob. Jacob was pretty vague. He never mentioned he and the Smoke Monster are brothers. I did like his answer to Kate about her name in the cave. "It's just chalk on a wall, Kate. The job's yours if you want it." She did not. Nor did Hurley. But Jack did. Which is why I still don't think he gets to keep the job. The Island Protector probably shouldn't want it.

Plus Desmond's on the loose. And now Widmore's dead without ever explaining why Desmond's resistance to electromagnetism is so important.

The Sideways universe was pretty awesome for all the Dr. Linus stuff, plus seeing Danielle Rousseau as a normal, un-crazy woman. I could go for some coq au vin right about now. They left Ben and Danielle is a weird, kind of flirtatious state.

Meanwhile, Sideways Jack finally gets to fix Sideways Locke so he can "let go." Locke must need glasses if he thinks Jack's son looks like him.

Sideways Desmond seriously creeps me out. I find his perpetual state of calm (unless he's beating the shit out of Dr. Linus) very unsettling. Something big's going down at the concert Miles is going to, which Desmond, Kate, Sayid, and Hurley will now be in attendance for. Where are the Kwons?

Waited this whole season for Ana Lucia to appear in the Sideways universe and it was like, oh, hey, there she is. Envelope full of money. Well, see ya.

It comes down to Ben and Jack, doesn't it? Jack is Jacob's boy now. Ben was promised the Island by Smoke Locke.

Sunday night, it's The End.

Lost 6x15 - "Across the Sea"

I can sum up this episode in one word: midi-chloreans.

Once upon a time, Jacob and his nameless twin brother were a couple of bad child actors. They were born to a hot Spanish lady who shipwrecked on the Island and had the misfortune of running into creepy Island witch Allison Janney. Similar to how Luke and Leia were born, the hot Spanish lady popped out Jacob and named him thus, and then popped out a second baby... and then died. Only she didn't get to name the second baby, and in Revenge of the Sith the medical droid didn't say "I'm sorry" and crack Padme's skull with a rock.

Actually, I feel like Allison Janney spoke the Man in Black's name after he stabbed her and before she thanked him, but I couldn't hear it even after a couple of playbacks. I'm sure the Internets will provide it soon enough if she did.

I'm trying to think of what in this episode worked for me and I'm coming up pretty empty. A lot of stuff distracted me: like how when they became adults both Jacob and the Man in Black must have visited the Island stylists to get their modern haircuts, even when they had the more period-appropriate long hair as children. Or how the "Others" on the Island who were on the same ship as Jacob's mother spent 43 years on the Island and never, ever encountered Allison Janney or found her cave, even though she and Jacob often spied on them, usually out in the open.

I thought Allison Janney was also secretly a smoke monster, but I guess she wasn't. So how the fuck did she alone bury the wells dug to find the electromagnetic energy and then burn the "barracks" and kill all of the "Others"? I guess she really must have been a witch.

These seem like petty complaints but what tends to happen when you're not entertained by a movie or television is you start to ask questions and pulling at the seams. For the ante-penultimate episode of Lost, not being entertained - especially by an hour-long download of Island mythology and backstory - was really the last thing I expected. But now we definitively know who "Adam and Eve" really are, so that's something.

Actually, I liked that Jacob was the neglected brother and the Boy in Black was Allison Janney's favorite son, the "special" one she handpicked to be the Island protector. I liked Jacob telling her that she wanted her favorite to be the protector and now she's turning to Jacob because he's all she has left.

I also liked the Boy in Black's line to Jacob about the rules of backgammon and how Jacob can always make up his own game and make up his own rules. It would have been better for the lives of countless people in the future if Jacob was just allowed to cheat at backgammon as a boy.

So it was The Man in Black who built the wheel beneath the Island and who somehow knew via the extremely forward-thinking wise men amongst the "Others" he lived with for 30 years that he could leave the Island by turning the wheel. I wonder if the Smoke Monster ever learned from Jacob or anyone else who actually turned the wheel in all the years since that it magically transports to Tunisia? Not that the Smoke Monster would know where and what Tunisia is.

Wacky theory number one - and this is conjectured entirely by the actors' hair color (and the fact that season one Jack had the exact same haircut as the Man in Black) - even though Sayid said "It's going to be you, Jack" before he took an armful of C4 and Arzted it up, that was all a ruse and it will be Sawyer who becomes the new Jacob when it's all said and done.

Wacky theory number two - the light inside Marcellus Wallace's briefcase in Pulp Fiction is actually from that magic cave on the Island that we'd never, ever heard about before now.

Lost 6x14 - "The Candidate"

I can't believe it. I can't believe they did that.

They killed Frank Lapidus!

Oh, and Jin and Sun! What the fuck?! I was kind of in shellshock when that sub went down with the Kwons still on it. I'm glad they gave Jack, Kate and Hurley a moment to react to the loss of Jin and Sun, at least. It's gonna be a while until I'm okay with Jin and Sun's deaths. Ji Yeon is an orphan now. Sun's father is still alive, right? Her parents left her alone in a world where the Korean Devil can still find her and raise her.

The writing was on the wall - or more like the bulkhead was in Frank's face - when the plan shifted and they boarded the sub instead of the Ajira plane. Suddenly, they didn't need a pilot anymore.

Oh shit, I forgot, they killed Sayid too! But Sayid's really been sort of dead for most of the season. Sayid was the weirdest case the whole episode - half Zombie Sayid but still kind of like the old Sayid, especially in the noble sacrifice at the end. "It's going to be you, Jack." Seems to be too blatant a declaration that Jack is the new Jacob. There has to be misdirection there. Also, Sayid told Jack that Desmond still in the well, which means he found enough of his humanity not to execute Desmond but he still left him down there.

The foreshadowing was pretty obvious when Smoke Locke switched the backpacks, and Jack figured out Smoke Locke's plan and spelled it out for everyone a little too late.

So we're clear now, no more ambiguity: Smoke Locke is the bad guy. He was never to be trusted. He's the enemy. Sawyer's instincts served him well in regards to Smoke Locke - just not when a bomb was in front of him that Jack pleaded with him not to diffuse. That pesky free will screwed everything up again.

When the bomb was revealed on the sub, the following theory hit me, that pretty much turned out to be false but hear me out anyway: I thought they were all going to die. Furthermore, I thought once they all died, the endgame of Lost would be somehow for the sideways version of the characters to replace them in the Island reality.

Meanwhile on Not Lost, Jack's bedside manner is worlds better than it was on Lost. We got the explanation of how Locke lost the use of his legs; a plane crash he caused that turned Anthony Cooper into a drooling vegetable not unlike what Captain Pike looked like in the original Star Trek, only minus the space wheelchair that blinks one for yes and two for no. Jack even got a hug and a kiss from Peggy Bundy. And Claire continued to accept any invitation she is offered, this time to stay with Jack, the only family she has in LA, it turns out.

I like that everyone on Oceanic 815 is keenly aware of how bizarre it is so many people from that plane keep bumping into each other in LA. I also liked Bernard accusing Jack of flirting with Rose, on an episode when Jin and Sun basically became Jack and Rose Kwon. (But their hearts will go on and on...)

Here's a question: The bombs on the Ajira plane - did Widmore plant those? I don't think he did. I think Smoke Locke thinks it was Widmore and lied/bullshitted the story to everyone that Widmore wanted them all dead. Smoke Locke didn't know about Richard, Miles, and Ben. I'd have to guess Richard, Miles and Ben planted the bombs on the plane, since that was their objective when we last saw them and we haven't seen them since. So where the hell are those three?

Oh, and one episode removed from my pointing out Kate has never been shot or wounded on Lost - BLAM! Kate gets shot! That was my personal biggest Holy Shit! moment.

Lost 6x13 - "The Last Recruit"

I don't think I've ever been more impressed with Jack than when he jumped off that boat. His transformation is complete. He's practically an all-new character. Jack's been a source of frustration and disappointment for six years. You always wanted to think the best of him but we too often saw the worst. His character has been redeemed.

It's pretty satisfying to see Jack completely changed. He takes orders, he's calm, he's thoughtful. He sincerely apologized for getting Juliet stuck in V. He has faith. And he sure does love the Island - well, maybe not, but he believes in it. If only the late John Locke could see Jack now; he'd smile that squinty-eyed crooked smile of his.

Is Jack with Smoke Locke like Smoke Locke thinks? Maybe after Jack recovers from being exploded on the beach, he might beg to differ.

"You can always turn someone back from the Dark Side. Anakin?"
"Who the hell's Anakin?!"

Many's the time I wish we never found out the hell Anakin is. Has living on the Island for the confusing and contradictory amount of time he has obliterated Sawyer's pop culture knowledge? He was Mr. Nickname. He should know who Anakin is. He knew that Lapidus looks like he stepped off the set of a Burt Reynolds movie. (Maybe Sawyer's reference points are still stuck in the 70's).

They could have called this episode "Everybody Betrays Locke". The Candidates couldn't wait to bail on Smoke Locke and take off on their plan B. Sayid probably even betrayed Smoke Locke and lied about offing Desmond in the well. Where was Sayid at the end when the Widmore missiles blew up all of those Others? Did Sayid follow Locke back to the beach?

The episode started out with more straight up answers: "Were you, Smoke Monster, inhabiting Christian's dead body?" "Yes." "Why?" "So Jack could find water." Wow. The Smoke Monster should have said, "All I've ever wanted to do, Jack, is just tell you all these answers to your questions up front. It just didn't work out that way."

I really thought for a second Kate's attempt to reason with Claire would get her if not killed, then shot. I don't think Kate's been injured on the show. She hasn't been shot or stabbed or stepped in a bear trap. She's been fucked in a bear cage... I'm digressing. I was hoping while they were eating the canned goods in the galley of the boat, someone would have encouraged Claire to use the bathroom sink and wash her hair or something.

Kind of out of the blue, because with all the other stuff going on it sneaked in under the radar a bit, we got the Jin and Sun Island reunion we've waited two seasons for. "Looks like someone got her voice back." Frank Lapidus Spells Things Out.

Meanwhile, in the sideways universe, Sun recognized Locke. Did she just recognize him from Oceanic 815 or was there a cross-reality realization? Jack recognized Locke too from their meeting at the airport. Dr. Linus found out Locke's first name, and it's a manly name like John and not a girlie name like Leslie (Arzt).

Jack and Claire had family reunions in both realities. I was impressed by how Jack's moppet son walked exactly like he does when they were walking down the hospital corridor on the way to Jack's surgery. Also, Claire has been pretty well established to be super-duper trusting. She got in the cab with Kate after Kate cab-jacked her at the airport, and she trusted Desmond pretty quickly before going into the law firm to meet the cleans-up-nicely corporate hot Ilana. (KABLAMMO!)

Detective James Ford and Kate have a lot of fun potential in the sideways universe. He's the scruffy cop with a mysterious secret, she's the wanted, sexy fugitive with a heart of gold. And Miles makes for a great third wheel. It's a shame the sideways universe won't continue as its own show. I liked how Miles and Jimmy tripped up Sayid and caught him so handily.

Incidentally, Sayid has been a hired assassin for Ben Linus and a zombie (would be) assassin for Smoke Locke. He has four episodes left to find a way to become an assassin for Charles Widmore and complete the Lost Super Villain trifecta.

So whatever happened with Richard, Ben, and Miles' plot to blow up that plane? Are they already on Hydra Island? I guess we'll soon find out.

Lost 6x12 - "Everybody Loves Hugo"

KABLAMMO!!

Whose jaw didn't drop in shock and delight when Ilana went Arzt like a Roman candle? Earlier today Carleton Cuse Tweeted that Lost would start with a "blast from the past". They teased me good. Figured it was the return of Peter Chang, but no, it had to be Michael on the Island. Wait, no, Libby! Nope, literally, a blast from the past. How many days will it take Hurley to pick bits of Ilana off his shirt?

And dude, they blew up the Black Rock (set)! Explosions all over the place.

I liked special guest star Senator Kelly as Libby's head shrinker. That guy hates mutants. He doesn't hate crazy people. But he loves money. I also liked that Libby was in the insane asylum voluntarily. She's like that big fat white guy who pretended to be Michael Jackson in season 2 of The Simpsons.

Second Simpsons season 2 reference: Smoke Locke throwing Desmond down a well. There's a hole in my heart as deep as a well for that poor little boy who's trapped halfway to hell. I hope Penny is sending her love down a well.

In all likelihood, we'll never get the whole story on what Libby's deal was, why she was in an insane asylum before she was on the Island, etc. This was the next best thing. I liked when she and Hurley kissed and he downloaded a bunch of Lost season 2 flashbacks.

Out of the blue, we got the Answer of what the whispers are. And because Michael asked Hurley to apologize to Libby, we also learned the Spirits Stuck on the Island for What Bad Things They Did don't interact with each other. Which is probably for the best for Ghost Michael - otherwise, he'd never hear the end of it from Ghost Libby and Ghost Ana-Lucia for shooting them dead. I'm not satisfied with that Answer, though. The whispers have always preceded an appearance by The Others, so what up with that?

Richard flipping out the whole episode was pretty good. He's not calm and collected anymore. And aw, what a tease: Jacob told Richard what the Island really is. I hope on the march and sail to Hydra Island, Miles calls Richard on that and asks him what the Island really is.

The Candidates (plus Lapidus) delivered themselves to Smoke Locke just like he kept saying they would. There's so much detail and stuff to remember on this show, I was momentarily confused why Sun was writing shit down on a notepad. Jack point blank explained his change of heart and newfound ability to let go and let people tell him what to do. Except he's following Hurley, who lets dead people who yell at him tell him what to do.

And now Smoke Locke has all the Candidates together except Jin, if Jin is the final Candidate. I didn't remember until "Hello Jack" that Jack hadn't met the new and improved Thing That Looks Like John Locke until now.

Finally, the total out of left field shocker of Desmond running Locke over with his car. No one saw that coming. But at least now, Dr. Linus doesn't think he's a pedophile, brother.

Lost 6x11 - "Happily Ever After"

"That man is the only person I'm aware of in the world who has survived a catastrophic electromagnetic event! I need to know that he can do it again. Or we all die!"

Well, fuck. Last week, I was pretty positive Lost and Not Lost were funhouse mirror images of each other but weren't going to cross over directly. I shouldn't have opened my big fat mouth via my deftly typing two fingers. What do I know? Nuthin'.

Not only did the sideways realities directly cross over this week via Desmond, but Charles Widmore on the Island seems to be aware of the other reality and is working against impending catastrophe.

Since the Island has always has been attributed with some form of sentience or otherworldly knowledge, I'm conjecturing the Island itself is aware of the sideways reality and is threatened by it, with a prideful umbrage that the Not Lost reality exists without it (and almost all of the main characters are doing relatively well without the Island in their lives). Maybe the Island has been taking steps to eliminate the sideways reality. Perhaps the Island communicated the existence of Not Lost to Charles Widmore via Eloise Hawking, gave the marching orders on what to do and even how to find the Island, which Widmore had been unable to do but suddenly he was able to take his Widmarine right to it.

That's as much speculatin' as I care to make at the moment.

I love that the glimpses of a crossover between the realities are via the love stories. Charlie has not met Claire but in a near death experience glimpsed that he loved her in another life. I also like that Desmond met Claire at LAX and then had to deal with Charlie for the rest of the episode. Daniel Widmore remembered he loved Charlotte. And of course, Desmond and Penny, the go-to weapon of mass tear-jerking Lost always turns to which never, ever fails. What is it about that scruffy Scot and that stiff ass Brit that their love story always leaves a lump in the throat? It's a Constant.

I liked Jack scoffing at Desmond that someone on Oceanic 815 ended up at the hospital. "Brother, a surprising number of people on our plane have ended up in this very hospital since the plane landed. Me, Charlie, the pregnant girl, the brunette in the handcuffs came by to see the pregnant girl. Any second now a couple of Koreans we don't know are on their way here."

They did a spectacular job showing Desmond's car crashing into the water. The camera angles used pretty much showed as closely as possible what it would be like to sit in a car that goes into water.

I also liked that the building housing the electromagnetic coils on Hydra Island resembled the raptor holding pen on Jurassic Park.

George from the Freighter turned out to be a great guy and was the best limousine driver since Argyle drove John McClaine to the Nakatomi Tower in the first Die Hard. The Freighter folk are generally nicer folk on Not Lost.

I loved all the callbacks: Widmore sharing his McCutcheon scotch with Desmond. The stadium where Jack and Desmond first met became where Desmond and Penny first meet. And of course NOT PENNY'S BOAT. Glad to see Daniel (Faraday) Widmore and Eloise Hawking too. "What happened, happened." In both realities, Penny is Daniel's half sister. I wonder if Penny's mother is ever going to be mentioned or if she's in any way important?

Desmond episodes are always so moving, I totally forgot about Sayid until he showed up and killed everyone at the end. I tend to think Smoke Locke is not aware of the sideways reality and what's going on with Widmore; that Sayid is taking Desmond back to Smoke Locke just because Desmond was "the Package", and to figure out what's going on.

"See you in another life, brother!"

Lost 6x10 - "The Package"

"Unless Alpert's covered in bacon grease, I don't think Hugo's gonna be able to track him."

"Why don't you just turn into smoke and float over the water?"
"If I could do that, do you think I'd still be on this Island?"
"No, 'cause that would be ridiculous."

"She hits her head and loses the ability to speak English? We're supposed to buy that?"
"Says the guy who talks to dead people."

Funny dialogue aside, the main story on Lost is shifting to the end game. Battle lines are being drawn, plans are being formed, the confrontation is imminent.

I'm still not used to Lost being so blatant in its explanations as it's been this season. Smoke Locke clearly stated he needs all six candidates to be with him when he leaves the Island, he clearly stated Kate and Claire are not candidates, and he clearly stated why he needs Kate. He was a bit more ambiguous what's to be done with her after she's outlived her usefulness, but I think it was still clear what he implied.

When they opened the episode with the green filtered night vision, it's a shame Kate and Sawyer weren't having sex, as an ode to the Paris Hilton sex tape.

I think Sun and Jin are the first of the Oceanic 815ers to not be better off in the Not Lost flash-sideways reality. "Some people just aren't meant to be together," said Keamy. Foreshadowing, but for which reality? By the way, I like crime boss Keamy a lot more than jungle mercenary Keamy. He's a lot funnier. Mikhail is pretty much the same in both realities, and ends up just as dead.

I really liked both of Jack's conversations with Sun. The first one in the garden when Sun shat all over the idea of their destiny and the second when Jack convinced her to come with them so they can find Jin. Jack's notoriously shitty bedside manner has really improved since he found Island Faith.

I also get a charge when super villains have confrontations. Widmore and Smoke Locke sized each other up (hey, they're both white, bald, and old!) and the dialogue indicated that Widmore never encountered the black smoke when he was leading the Others (and presumably following Jacob), although the black smoke knew who he was. The sonic pylons are interesting too; sure they keep Smoke Locke out, but I'm sure the same thought crossed his mind that the pylons themselves can be attacked and disabled.

Finally, finally Desmond is back! I hope we see Penny again too before the series ends.

Now, what is Charles Widmore so interested in regarding the Island's electromagnetic activity?

Lost 6x9 - "Ab Aeterno"

Nestor Carbonell is one of my favorite actors. Ever since he was Batmanuel in The Tick, I've loved the guy and it was fantastic to see him get his own episode of Lost.

Probably the most shocking thing about the Secret Origin of Richard (Ricardus Ricardo) Alpert is how nothing revealed was terribly shocking at all. Everything was pretty much in line with all the clues dropped about Richard over the years. Yes, he's immortal. Yes, he's of Spanish descent. Yes, he was a slave on the Black Rock. Yes, he worked for Jacob. However, that doesn't mean all of it wasn't really good and very well done.

It was a hard knock life for Richard. Everybody he knew in the Canary Islands except Isabella (we assume) was an asshole. The greedy doctor Richard killed by accident was an asshole. The priest was an asshole. Even his white slave master was an asshole. Jacob thinks the Man in Black was an asshole. The Man in Black thinks Jacob is an asshole. Richard 2007 thinks Jacob is an asshole. And Hurley... he's a really good guy.

I didn't put two and two together when Hurley was speaking Spanish to nobody that it would turn out to be Isabella's ghost or whatever. That was a sweet scene with Richard and Isabella while Hurley translated for the ghost.

Is Miles aware that Hurley is also a ghost whisperer now? Hurley's totally stealing Miles' thunder. But then, Miles has millions of dollars worth of Nikki and Paulo's diamonds in his pocket, so he may be richer than Hurley now. They're like two sides of the same coin.

Richard with the beard looked so much like Jim Caviezel in Passion of the Christ. I liked Jacob baptizing him in the surf four times. "Still think you're dead? Still think you're dead?"

Jacob pretty much laid out bare what his Purpose in life is and why he does (and doesn't do) what he does. It really is pretty much black and white between Jacob and the Man in Black.

When Isabella appeared, and there's no doubt now it was the Smoke Monster taking her form after scanning Richard, at the time I thought it really was Isabella, by way of The Magic Box Ben mentioned when suddenly Anthony Cooper was on the Island and Locke got Sawyer to kill him.

I liked the Black Rock smashing the Egyptian statue en route to being moored in the jungle. And that's how both of those things happened. ALL WILL BE REVEALED! Straight up.

So... what's Richard Alpert doing in the sideways Not Lost reality?

Lost 6x8 - "Recon"

 

What a delightful play on words the episode title is. "Recon". Because Sawyer did some recon on Hydra Island for Smoke Locke, and in both Island and Sideways realities, James Ford did some re-conning.

On the Island, Sawyer didn't have sex with Kate, although he had that wistful moment with Kate's old pretty dress in the bear cage when he remembered those good old times when he and Freckles did the nasty in the past-y. But in Not Lost, Detective Jimmy Ford, LAPD, did both Jodi-Lyn O'Keefe and the returning (missed by me) Charlotte Lewis. Not bad at all! Then Jimmy ran into Kate in the end. Some guys get all the luck. (Except when Charlotte told him he blew it. Which he did. Totally. She probably does have a whip.)

I know CBS is working on a Hawaii Five-0 reboot series, but they should scrap all their current plans and make that show starring Miles and Jimmy Ford. And Danno. Two of the three are already in Hawaii and we already love watching them. I loved Sawyer's asking Kate if Miles got out of the Temple alive when they reunited. Sawyer really loves his little buddy.

I liked Detective Jimmy's doggedly cold calling every Anthony Cooper in the phone book. "Can I speak to Anthony Cooper. Speaking? Did you con my daddy and sleep with my mommy? No? Sorry to disturb."

This week, we got both scenarios for Kate and Claire played out: the one where Claire tried to murder Kate and the one where they hug it out and have a tearful reconciliation. Kate's reaction to Claire almost knifing her freckles off was really, really great. Such a good performance the whole episode by Evangeline Lilly. And the writing was great, all the way through to Kate and Smoke Locke's conversations. Now Aaron has a crazy mother just like Smoke Locke.

Smoke Locke also came clean to Sawyer about his being the Smoke Monster and killing everyone at the Temple. I think at the end of the day, Smoke Locke is honestly looking for people to trust, and he's probably gone centuries without friends. Because he didn't have a body. Smoke Locke seems to like Sawyer, who's remarkably pragmatic about the whole situation.

Sawyer's negotiations with Widmore was typical Lost-style. They usually end with an ultimatum of "I wanna get off this Island." Widmore didn't reveal his hand at all, though. Sawyer talked the whole game but we got nothing regarding what Widmore is actually up to, besides laying out a sonic barrier in preparation for Smoke Locke, "just like at New Otherton." (I also liked how Smoke Locke refers to the Others as "the Others". That name really stuck.)

Sawyer: "You and me, we're getting off this Island."
Kate: "Who's gonna fly the plane?"
Sawyer: "We ain't takin' the plane. We're takin' the sub."
Kate: "Same question applies, James. Who's gonna pilot the sub?"
Sawyer: "I ain't thought of that yet."

From now on though, my emergency word for any situation will be "LaFleur."

Lost 6x7 - "Dr. Linus"

 

What a great, great episode. That had everything that makes Lost Lost.

In two realities, Ben Linus walked away from the episode without his power but a better man because of it. I've never had to dig my own grave - yet - but I would be in even less of a rush than Ben was.

Not Lost's Dr. Linus is a good man no matter how you cut it. He didn't kill his father and in fact looks after him, he genuinely cares about his students, and pressed against the wall with a Faustian bargain, he did what his Island counterpart would didn't or couldn't do and chose Alex over his own Machiavellian ascension to power. The scenes of Ben and Alex together as teacher and student were pretty amazing. They are so much better off for the Island and Jacob not existing in their lives.

Ben's line: "The Island always gets you in the end" (paraphrase) is pretty much the moral of Lost. But not of Not Lost. I wish Not Lost would continue after Lost ends in 9 episodes from now.

Now someone explain to Dr. Arzt why Dr. Linus is a terrific guy. Arzt never got to meet Ben on the Island before the dynamite blew him up and Hurley spent two days picking him off his shirt. He probably wouldn't have liked Island Ben anyway, and vice versa.

Jack is also a changed man. Completely 180 degrees philosophically and internally from the man he was before. Well, he's still a hothead, but he found faith.

Plus we finally got some pretty solid answers on Richard. He's not a cyborg. Jacob touched him and gave him a gift. Not just immortality but unlimited Island credit to the Men's Express hidden somewhere in the Jungle. To this day, no centuries-old pirate dresses better than Richard Alpert.

I think my favorite random thing of the episode was Miles' callback to Nikki and Paulo, two jabronies buried with $8-million in diamonds. Then later, he dug up the diamonds. Miles keeps his head down and keeps doing what he's doing - surviving and being funny - and he'll end up better off than anyone else when this is all over.

"I'll have you." I don't think anyone expected Ilana to say that. Ben was so bowled over, all he could do was follow her back to the beach. I was pretty damned moved seeing Ben break down and bare his soul and his guilt the way he did.

I loved the return of the patented Lost slow motion musical interlude, featuring the reunion of Jack, Hurley and Sun, who haven't seen each other in 30 years, give or take.

When I saw Alan Dale in the opening credits, I got super excited that Charles Widmore was in this episode but I got so caught up in Ben and everyone else's stories in the episode, I'd totally forgotten about Widmore when he appeared in the sub. So Jacob wasn't lying that someone was coming to the Island. Business is about to pick up.

Lost 6x6 - "Sundown"

I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you! Kill! Kill! Kill! Die! Die! Die! That about sums up this week's mass murderific episode of Lost. Sayid alone murdered five people in two separate realities, and that was nothing compared to the Smoke Monster.

Poor Dogen. At least we got to hear his tragic and miserable back story before Sayid drowned him. Dogen's another guy who seemingly got screwed by a patented Jacob Faustian Bargain. His fight scene with Sayid was pretty sweet. Best Lost fight scene in a long, long time (my favorite is still Jack's rainy jungle throwdown with Ethan in season one). Dogen was feeling pretty despondent in how his crazy plans to get someone else to kill Sayid kept backfiring. That Sayid's like the Road Runner - he won't go down!

Poor Lennon. We hardly knew ye. But just like his namesake, he was murdered by a crazy Iraqi in a Lazarus Pit. (Wait, is that how John Lennon died? Aw, who cares.) Before Lennon got his throat cut, I was starting to feel pretty bad for him in the midst of the "Smoke Monster's Coming! We're bailing!" panic.

Lennon's head was spinning from the random arrivals alone: Claire strolled into the Temple, then Kate, then Sayid, then the Smoke Monster, then the Ben/Lapidus/Sun Group (sounds like an investment firm). Whatever happened to Temple security? Anyone can just saunter in from out of the jungle all of a sudden? Didn't they have an outer wall?

Miles was pretty awesome. Here's a guy who seems to be completely lacking purpose in the big picture but I think he understands how lucky he is to just be alive, so he's not rocking the boat. He's just directing traffic now.

"Hey Kate, you're back from the jungle. So's that blonde Australian chick. She's still hot."
"Hey Sun! Did you see your husband out in the jungle?"
"Hey, it's you guys! Lapidus! Ben! Remember when I blackmailed you for 3.2 million dollars? Yeah, good times. Let's get the hell out of here!"

Ben also seems to be completely stripped of his power and authority now. He ran like a jackrabbit from Evil Sayid. Maybe one day Ben will remember Sayid shot him when he was a kid. Or maybe he suddenly did. Or maybe he was scared shitless of the psychotic, knife-wielding Iraqi. (Likely.)

No matter what reality Sayid Jarrah is in, someone always wants him to kill or torture someone else. This week, just kill. Kind of neat to see Martin Keamy again. No matter what reality, he's a dangerous criminal. And he always dies. But I suddenly wanted some eggs.

How did Jin go from TSA security to tied up in Keamy's walk-in freezer?

Poor Sayid only ever wants to be with Nadia and can't, but at least in Not Lost, she's alive. Who knew Sayid had a brother?*

I really liked how Kate told Claire about how she raised Aaron and came back so Claire and Aaron could be together. She handled that extremely well. Claire would have to be completely insane to not see Kate's sincerity. I also liked Claire being put in the Silence of the Lambs hole. "Claire puts the lotion on her skin or else she gets the hose again."

Kate's reactions to the Gone With The Wind shot of all the dead bodies strewn all over the Temple were great, and she kept that same face following Not Locke, Evil Claire, Evil Sayid, and the surviving Others out of the Temple.

I liked the look on Not Locke's face when he saw Kate: "Whoa, Kate. One of the top three main characters. I got Sawyer, I got Sayid, Claire, and now Kate. My Oceanic 815 All-Star collection is going really well!"

* Amendment: Who remembered Sayid had a brother? Clearly, I didn't.

The Losties

Lost 6x5 - "The Lighthouse"

Not Lost Jack's son is a Jonas Brother. Was that Zac Efron moppy hairstyle for teenage boys already in vogue back in 2004?

I have a soft spot for stories of parents trying to connect with their kids. I loved the look of pride in Jack's face watching David play piano, and the look of shame when he told Not Lost Dogen he didn't know how long David has been playing. This Jack has what it takes to be a good father, in stark contrast to the other Jack.

But why doesn't Not Lost Jack remember when he had his appendix taken out?

"I'm a candidate and I can do what I want." "Have you ever tried to get Jack to do something? It's impossible."

Jacob seems to really like Hurley. Not just because Hurley does what he says, but he seems to genuinely like the guy. I loved how Hurley Sarah Palined Jacob's instructions on his arm and how he "lied to a samurai". Jacob turns up when he wants "like Obi-Wan Kenobi".

Loved the old school Jack and Hurley wandering through the jungle on a mission they don't understand. Finding Shannon's inhaler. The caves and the Adam and Eve skeletons. Jack telling Hurley how he found the caves and why he smashed the coffin.

Good meta-comment on the Lighthouse ("Why haven't we ever seen this before?") Kate was on the wheel at number 51. Number 108 is someone named "Wallace". Of course, Jack had to lose it and go smashy-smashy on the wheel. Jacob's cool with that. He'd dead anyway, all his stuff being broken will all be his replacement's problem eventually.

Poor black Other. Evil Claire axed him a question and he didn't have the right answer. Kate is so fucked when she finally finds Claire and tells her where Aaron is.

The mock Aaron in Evil Claire's crib looked like the bones of the jackal that sired the Anti-Christ at the end of The Omen.

So it's now safe to say it was the Smoke Monster who was in Jacob's cabin, probably animating Christian back when we saw him and Claire in there a couple of seasons ago. If it's the Smoke Monster who animated Christian's corpse, then it was the Smoke Monster who lead Jack to the caves.

"You have what it takes."

Lost 6x4 - "The Substitute"

"This is the weirdest damned funeral I've ever been to."

I'm glad they finally got around to burying Locke's corpse before the sand crabs ate his eyes and stuff. They just left Locke laying there spilled halfway out of the crate for a whole day.

I liked Ben admitting he murdered Locke but lying about murdering Jacob. He's got an aversion to being smacked around or worse. It happens so often and he's still got his injuries from the last time he got punched repeatedly in the face.

Are we to infer that with the Island sunk to the bottom of the sea in the flash-sideways, Jacob never visited any of the 815ers and touched them, thereby ruining their lives by steering them towards the Island?

Sideways John Locke is a lot better off. Peggy Bundy never left him, he got a better job as a substitute teacher thanks to his boss Hugo Reyes and Rose, and for all we know his fellow teacher Ben Linus probably won't murder him. I wonder if Arzt teaches at that same school? All Sideways Locke lacks is his faith, but isn't he better off without it? Either way, John Locke is concurrently one of the most pitiful yet admirable characters ever on television. Even though he's dead, I love these flash-sideways for letting us hang out with him again.

"Locke was always scared, even when he was pretending he wasn't." But he could hunt a mean boar when he had to.

In any reality, Hurley is consistently a good guy. And fat, but in a good way.

Sawyer sitting in his underpants getting drunk was just like that Battlestar Galactica flashback where Adama found Tigh sitting in his underwear getting drunk, except Sawyer didn't start a fire.

Smoke Monster POV is pretty cool. I liked how he took a tour of New Otherton, since the sonic fence usually kept him out of it.

I loved Richard running up to Sawyer and then running off after Smoke Locke came back from chasing the Peter Pan kid.

"Who were you talking to?"
"No one. Did you catch that kid?"
"What kid?"
"All righty then."
"See, James? We're getting along just fine."

Massive mythology reveal about Jacob looking for candidates to replace him as the Island's protector. A substitute, if you will.  I didn't see Kate's name and number in chalk on the cave wall. Or maybe it's there but they just didn't point it out.

Smokey Locke makes a lot of sense. His arguments seem more rational than Jacob's "do as I say, shut up and don't ask questions" approach. Are we sure he's the evil one?

Lost 6x3 - "What Kate Does"

 

Sayid and Han Solo have something in common: being tortured and then saying "They didn't even ask me any questions!" That Other jackass Aldo who Kate beat up also called her "Princess" - Star Wars reference number 2.

Boy, for a professional torturer, Sayid really turned into a wussy when the electrical shock clamps were on his nipples for a change. "They tortured me! And they were such assholes about it. No chit chat, no threats, nothing!" I think his professional pride was offended as much as he was in incredible pain.

I liked Hurley asking Sayid if he's a zombie. Zombies don't scream and cry when being tortured, so highly unlikely.

An abundance of good one liners and character stuff this week. Sawyer's sarcastic "He's an Iraqi torturer who shoots kids, so of course he deserves a second chance." Aw.

Hurley: "Private talks freak me out because they usually leave me having to do something that I don't understand."

Miles: "As you can see, Hugo has assumed the leadership role, so that's great." "We'll be in the food court if you need us."

I love the Not Lost scenes. I especially like how Kate and Claire got so chummy after she hijacked her cab, the Puppet Master from Heroes driving the cab ran off, and Kate left Claire stranded on the side of the road, then felt bad when she found out Claire was pregnant.

Some may quibble about Claire trusting Kate after that but think about it, the crazy lady in handcuffs waving the gun is still the only person Claire knows in LA. Aaron's two moms are BFFs. Plus, Dr. Ethan (Goodspeed?) isn't such a dick in Not Lost.

On the Island, Poor Kate finally found out Sawyer had moved on. He and Juliet were for realz, yo. They were like Romeo and Juliet except they ended in tragedy!

I also liked that Jin and Kate both blew out of the temple. They're the two 815 Originals who are on the Island looking for specific people, so yeah, hanging out in the temple ain't gonna do for them. They've got business to take care of.

The reveal at the end totally threw me for a loop. I was convinced since season four that Claire died when the rocket blew up her house in New Otherton and what was walking around and was sighted since then was an Island Construct (which I guess was since revealed to be Black Smokey Man). But now we find out Claire is the new Rousseau.

But there's a darkness in her, says Dogen, that claimed her as Sayid will soon be claimed. Does this mean Sayid will also eventually set bear traps and tripwired nets full of rocks around the Island?

Neo could have told Jack not to take the green pill. Red pill, blue pill, sure, either's good. But not green. Never green. Whoa.

How awesome was Kate this episode? Seriously. She was more bad ass than she's been in entire seasons. "What Kate Does" was a reminder of the promise of season one Kate (before she got put in the pretty dress and the bear cage with Sawyer in season 3). Kate is supposed to be resourceful and dangerous.

Kate's biggest flaw is that when her two tall men are around, she fades to their side and makes the pretty eyes at them. Why, even last night, Kate only got proactive because she wanted to get with Sawyer. If Kate laid the smackdown on the Others on a more regular basis like she did when she punked out Aldo and made the black guy eat a net full of rocks in the face, she'd have the Island cred Sayid has.

Lost 6x1, 6x2 - "LA X, Parts 1 and 2"

Sayid Jarrah, I presume? Or is that Jacob inhabiting Sayid's body the way the Smoke Monster is walking around as John Locke?

"It worked." I take Juliet's last words to mean that by detonating the bomb, the flash created a concurrent spin off, Not Lost, where the original Oceanic 815ers minus Shannon, all got to LA and get to have all new adventures where some of them still randomly meet each other.

The shot of the Island underwater was awesome.

What I don't get is if it's 2004 again in Not Lost, why is Jack's hair long? Why doesn't he have a buzz cut? (I hope the answer isn't "We couldn't figure out a wig for Matthew Fox to wear on Lost, so we didn't buzz his hair in the Not Lost scenes.)

The flash also set Juliet to a new life in New York as an FBI agent and single mom leading a resistance against alien lizard Visitors.

I liked that they worked in Frogurt and Arzt. And I liked that even in an alternate life, Boone and Locke got to meet and had a brief little friendship that didn't get Boone killed (yet?). And in this life or the next, the Marshal is still a gigantic tool. But why was Desmond on Oceanic 815 flying from Sydney to LA?

I was also trying to follow the logic of why, if Hurley, Jin, Kate, and Jack were hoping to bring dying Sayid to the Temple for a crazy magical cure, they didn't bring Juliet's corpse for the same crazy magical cure? The easy answers are Sawyer wouldn't hear of it and Jacob didn't say nuthin' to Hurley about bringing Juliet's body along, but still.

I like that even after all this time, there are still elaborate locations on the Island to newly discover. The Temple set was cool and I liked the one armed skeleton of the Frenchman still in the tunnels. Though for some reason the Others in the Temple still dress like Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. How does Others hierarchy work where some get assigned to lead cushy barrack lives while others live in the Temple of Doom and wear rags?

I have to say, I never saw it coming nor had any thought in the direction that the Smoke Monster is a person and is in fact the nemesis of Jacob. That was a great reveal. But when Sayid, Jack, Kate, and Jin were in the Temple tunnels and they saw the Frenchman's corpse, Jin said "the smoke monster" got him. I've completely lost track of which characters have seen the smoke monster and know it's a smoke monster. Won't they be surprised when they find out more about the smoke monster.

The day-for-night changes were weird. Sayid was laying in the van dying for an awfully long time while the others got the mess with Juliet in the hole sorted out. Same with Richard and the group waiting outside the Four Toed Foot, hanging there clueless long after the team Elena sent in were murdered by Smoke Locke.

I can probably think of more questions but the promo for next episode said THE TIME FOR QUESTIONS IS OVER. So okay, I guess I'll just happily eat up the answers.

I'm just so GD happy to have Lost back for this final season.