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Monday, April 23, 2012

Game of Thrones 2x4 - "Garden of Bones"

"There's no cure for being a cunt." - Bronn, re: Joffrey

Certainly not, in King Joffrey's case. We'll get to that in a bit.

For what comes out from between Melisandre's legs is dark and full of terrors. That ending was all kinds of messed up. I mean, that moment - Melisandre giving "birth" to that black, shadow thing - was incredibly messed up in the book, but to see it on television is something else. I think that topped Mae Young giving birth to a hand and Stacy Kiebler giving birth to photos of Shawn Stasiak. But Melisandre finally called Davos the Onion Knight.

Also messed up was Littlefinger making a play for Catelyn in her tent. "It seems we've been given a second chance!" Amazing. That man has no shame. He's one of the people directly responsible for Ned Stark's death by betraying him, then he tries to come onto his wife, then he presents her with Ned's bones. Plus lies right to her face that the Lannisters have both Sansa and Arya to trade.

I also really liked the banter between the two Lannister soldiers discussing the Mountain Gregor Clegane and then revealing that it's common knowledge in the realm that Renly Baratheon is gay and Loras Tyrell "has been stabbing him for years and he's not dead." Then Grey Wind ate their entrails. Dire wolves must not like fart jokes either.

I have to say, the woman performing battlefield amputations Robb Stark met totally threw me. Because it seems like this is going to be his love interest (even though he is promised to marry one of Walder Frey's daughters as a condition of letting Robb's army cross the Twins last season), but her name is totally different from the woman in the books.

Meanwhile, I believe this week marks the first appearance of Roose Bolton, Lord of the Dreadfort, whom Robb was speaking to while surveying the Lannister dead on the battlefield. He's important, or will be, and I fucking hate him. And he's not even the worst person named "Bolton" who will appear in this series.

The less than brotherly failed negotiations between Renly and Stannis was one of my favorite scenes in the book and it was also great on the show. The Baratheon brothers, including Robert, are an interesting study because they are all completely different kinds of people. You'd never know they were brothers by their character and behavior.

"A good act does not wash out the bad, nor a bad the good." Also, Davos, it's "fewer" fingers, not "less" fingers. Stannis Baratheon, king of grammar, if nothing else.

Tyrion had two great moments: rescuing Sansa and then completely cutting off Lancel Lannister's balls, such as they are. Lancel - not exactly one of the shining lights of the Lannister family.

Across the Narrow Sea, Daenerys finally got a great moment this season and it was my favorite bit of the episode. Starved and desperate, with only one bargaining chip but suspecting (rightly) that as soon as she shows The Thirteen of Qarth her dragons, they'd take them from her, she still threatens them with death by dragonfire unless they let her Kahlazar in the gates. "You are a true Targaryen!" She sure is. Great to see Xaro Xhoan Daxos too.

Qarth was awesome. "Greatest city there ever was or will be" indeed. It sure looks it. That's the first city this show has shown that I'd actually want to live in. I can say the exact opposite of Harrenhal, the worst castle in Westeros, and that's saying something.

Tywin Lannister is no fool, and not a fan of the old rat in the bucket gnawing through your chest game. He took one look at Arya/Arry and deduced she was a girl disguised as a boy. Loved Arya's prayer: Cercei. Illyn Payne. The Hound. Joffrey. A list of no one's favorite people.

All right, Joffrey. Joffrey and his damned crossbow and his penchant for having Sansa publicly beaten. Poor Sansa. "Garden of Bones" gave us a disturbing look at what Joffrey actually finds exciting, and it's not sex, or whores, or whores having sex. He gets off on sheer brutality because he absolutely hates women. It's been strongly hinted but he's really a monster. One thing about that King Joffrey Baratheon - he's horrible to the whores. He could learn a lot from his uncle. But that's not likely.