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Monday, May 7, 2012

Game of Thrones 2x6 - "The Old Gods and the New"

We're at some points now in the story of "A Clash of Kings" where my memory of what happened in the book fails me outright.

1) I don't remember at all if Amory Lorch is the second man Arya asked Jaqen to kill, but that was a fantastic sequence and reveal. "You don't tell a man when to do a thing. But at the very next cut to scene, it will be done with poison dart to the neck, and it will be awesome."

2) I don't remember the dragons being stolen or if that happened in the book or who stole them.

There's just no negotiating with The Spice King for a hot, young Khaleesi, is there? Man, is that guy obstinate. She couldn't even get him to let her through a door, much less get some ships from him to go back to Westeros.

Xaro Xhoan Daxos is a broken record. Listen, we get it: You were born with nothing and now you're the richest man in Qarth. Anything else about you worth knowing?

The growing relationship between Tywin and Arya is captivating stuff, since it's a brand new invention of the show. We found out Jaime was dyslexic and there's no word for "dyslexia" in Westeros. Also, that Tywin is a nightmare of a home schooler... "but [Jaime] learned [how to read properly.]" I guess Tywin does miss his kids, even if one was a disappointment, another is a half-man who he blames for killing his wife by being born, and... we don't know how he feels about Cercei but he's probably disappointed by her too. At the very least, Tywin seems to miss having someone reasonably intelligent to talk to who also isn't an incompetent suck ass sworn to be loyal to his sword and coinpurse.

Arya stealing the letter about strategy against Robb was one of those moments where I felt disappointed it meant the Tywin/Arya stuff would come to an end so soon, but nope, Jaquen took care of Amory Lorch, so cool, Arya can keep pouring wine in Tywin's cup.

The arrival of Littlefinger at Harrenhal was also brand new stuff by the show. Discussions of what to do regarding the Tyrells of Highgarden, the death of Renly, Tyrion's offer to Catelyn -- Arya has a future as a spy for all the intelligence she was gathering. Arya knows more than 99% of the people of Westeros about how The War of the Five Kings is going. The looks Littlefinger gave Arya when he realized who she was and then tried to sort out whether Tywin had any idea who she was -- and realizing he doesn't seem to, that Tywin Fucking Lannister doesn't know something as important as Arya Stark pouring wine right under his nose -- priceless stuff.

Theon is a piece of shit. Apologies. Prince Theon is a piece of shit. He's such a swaggering idiot. You try to be sympathetic because he's so lost and confused, but man, is he an asshole. I loved how calmly Bran spoke to him initially when Theon barged into his bedchamber and announced he'd taken Winterfell. "Did you hate us the whole time?" It made everything worse for how Bran and Rickon begged and cried when Ser Rodrick Cassel was executed by Theon; executed as incompetently as possible.

Osha getting naked I think makes her the first member of The Order of the Phoenix in Harry Potter to go full frontal. I think. It's possible Gary Oldman has already in some movie when he was younger. Wait, no Daniel Radcliffe got naked on stage in Equus. Keep your pants on, Order of the Phoenix. The Death Eaters have more modesty. Osha whoring herself out to Theon as a ruse to get Bran, Rickon, Hodor, and the dire wolves out was brilliant. And different from the book, as the show has excised a couple of characters, whom I don't miss.

Also new material is Game of Thrones showing this growing relationship between Robb and Lady Talisa Maegyr, who has to be lying about who she is. Catelyn directly reminded Robb and us that he is promised to whomever is the least ugly daughter of Lord Walder Frey, and that debt must be paid! No shit, Cat. No shit. Plus Roose Bolton informed Robb that Theon has taken Winterfell, Robb promises to take Theon's head himself, and Roose gave a shout out to his "bastard at the Dreadfort".  There will soon be a meaner Ramsay on television than Gordon Ramsay.

The people of King's Landing sure don't like Joffrey. Neither does Sansa, who was almost raped, were it not for the Hound. How quickly will YouTube turn the newest Tyrion Slapping Joffrey moment into a meme?

In the vast list of disgusting moments on Game of Thrones, the rioters in King's Landing tearing apart the Septa and holding up her severed arm (probably because they were eating her) is right up there, along with the Hound disembowling that one guy who wanted to rape Sansa.

Finally, Ygritte! And she's played by Gwen from the first season of Downton Abbey. Which means she's much more attractive than she's described in the book, with clear skin and very white teeth for a Wildling. What's the Wildling health plan Mance Rayder has going for his people? It must be pretty good. Grinding Jon while spooning added to Osha doing Theon - the Wildling women do have lots of skills.

But I don't remember the details of how Jon Snow and Ygritte met in the book either. As Ygritte might (eventually) say, "You know nothing, John Orquiola."