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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Terra Nova 1x4 - "What Remains"


Ah, Terra Nova. How glad am I Terra Nova exists? Not very, except for Terra Nova now replacing V as the eye roll-inducing sci-fi show I can live Tweet and goof on. And here we go:


BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
This week's #TerraNova starts with a retard chasing a CGI ptero-beetle. WHY ARE THERE RETARDS IN TERRA NOVA?! Who chose him to time travel?

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
The retard chases the beetle out of #TerraNova and walks right up to a GIANT T-REX. Again: No one ever knows when dinosaurs are around!

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
The T-rex eats the retard. If a T-rex eats a human retard does it gain the retardation of a human retard? Ask a scientician. #TerraNova

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
Ah, I see. He wasn't a retard. I apologize to retards. FOUR people in #TerraNova have come down with amnesia. What? That's retarded.

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
"Unless we find out what this pathogen that causes amnesia is, we're not going home." But you'll call #TerraNova and tell them, right? No?

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
Oh shit! The youngest daughter has a cold, the cop dad has a cold, and the mother has AMNESIA! Anyone on #TerraNova have health insurance?

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
This #TerraNova plot is stolen from either @StarTrek or All My Circuits. Where's Calculon screaming NOOOO! while a pirate BBQs behind him?

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
So now dickweed teen son is plotting to get his girlfriend from the future to #TerraNova. What an excellent use of time travel resources.

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
"85 million years B.C.? You people couldn't time travel to AFTER the Ice Age?" Now even the writers are poking fun at #TerraNova's concept.

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
Time traveling to a distant past with a hostile environment? Design open air cars with no protection from the elements. #TerraNova

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
#TerraNova amnesiac Stephen Lang thinks he's in Somalia. He should be so lucky to be in that lush paradise Pierce described on #Community.

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
It would be funnier if amnesiac Stephen Lang thinks he's on Pandora. "I'm gonna kill those blue bastards and their heart tree!" #TerraNova

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
All right, I quit. I don't need to see the rest to know everyone is cured of amnesia and dinosaurs are the stealthiest beasts in #TerraNova.

BackoftheHead John Orquiola 
#TerraNova created the cure for the common cold! And the cure is amnesia! And vice versa! #Science

By the way, did they ever discover what happened to the original scientist who invented the amnesia pathogen and was eaten by the T-rex? Did they care? Does anyone care?

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