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Monday, September 2, 2013

Total Divas 1x6 - "Diva Las Vegas"

Vegas, baby, Vegas. If you wanted to see the blurred crotches of the Bella Twins, this Total Divas is your dream come true.

The Total Divas head to Sin City this week to "celebrate" (Nattie's favorite word and thing to do about herself) Nattie and her bachelorette party. TJ also has his bachelor party in Vegas and he brings some of WWE's lower rung talent with him (a special sighting of Curt Hawkins!), but they also have a main eventer present in the form of Daniel Bryan. The specter of Jaret in the form of flirty text messages she was warned by Nikki not to answer but does follows Nattie to Vegas, but overall Nattie and her bachelorette party are merely the backdrop for some of the other Divas to have their turn in the spotlight.

For the Jojo fans, it's at last Jojo's week to be front and center. She hasn't had a storyline since her ex Sebastian dumped her, and she has quickly rebounded by crushing on Justin Gabriel. (She's taunted for it by none other than Chris Jericho.) Jojo and the red headed fembot called Eva Marie have a house warming party in Tampa and invite the Total Divas cast, their male counterparts, and Justin Gabriel, who disappears onto a balcony with Jojo and applies the Greco-Roman tongue lock. Justin is also invited to Vegas, presumably as Jojo's date for the weekend. What's weird about Justin's presence, besides how weird Justin comes off in general, is that he seems to stick out like a sore thumb, even among his male peers. Gabriel seems more consciously aware than most he's on a television show. Justin doesn't join TJ's shenanigans and instead seems to hit on women solo, seen by Jojo (who is underage and can't really do anything fun in Vegas) and Eva Marie. Justin hops in a cab with the lady (of the night?) and disappears. Later, he tells Jojo the age difference is too much for him (she's 19, he's at least a decade older). He's right, probably, and skeevy definitely.

So that's it for Justin Gabriel. Seems like he blew his chance to be a regular player on a hit E! reality show. Back to Superstars, Main Event and Saturday Morning Slam for him.

Meanwhile, we learn of the course of events that create a situation known as BRIE MODE. See, when Brie Bella gets drunk, she goes into a state Nikki dubbed Brie Mode (Nikki also says Brie was called Keg Killer in high school). Thing is, Brie Mode doesn't seem all that bad. Oh, she dances around all sexy-like (but it's Nikki who falls and plops down on the ground all drunk), but even in Brie Mode, Brie can still give heartfelt advice to doubting Nattie a la what to do with Nattie's conflicting feelings toward Jarret. Bryan Danielson (Brie's boyfriend/WWE Superstar), who is in Vegas, isn't the biggest fan of Brie Mode, and has his own cure for the morning after hangover. Overall, though, Brie Mode is pretty tame, solidifying Brie as the better Bella. This is not to say Nikki wasn't awesome in this episode as well. This is Nikki's best outing yet in terms of being not the center of drama. Plus we meet Nikki's vibrator, the Purple People Eater.

Finally, there is Vincent. Bald, orangutang-like Vincent, who reacted badly to Ariane not inviting him to Vegas because it's all WWE people there and arrived anyway. Once in Vegas, Vincent becomes the Tazmanian Devil, bouncing around their thebombdotcom suite at the Palms, making a complete ass out of himself at dinner, and then plowing himself with alcohol and making an even bigger ass of himself at Ghost Bar. Ariane literally had to drag him out of the club for a permanent time out. Previews indicate Ariane has some bad news for Vincent next week. Babe, that's messed up! *punches elevator door*.

TOTAL DIVAS REVELATION: TJ is the only man Nattie's ever been with. John Cena reacted to this appropriately nonplussed. As for Nikki and how many men's she's been with, no number is given. "Hopefully, it's between one and a thousand." says Cena. (The Champ is here!)