Revolution 1x2 - "Chained Heat"

Someone Tweeted after the Emmys that network dramas will probably never win an Emmy again because they can't compete with cable's storytelling possibilities. I think that's probably accurate. As cable gets riskier, more adult, more involved, network TV often seems to regress to becoming as broad and inclusive as possible. This is a generalization. But Revolution seems to feed into that mindset. It's McDonalds sci-fi.

If Lost were made today instead of 8 years ago, in a network TV universe where shows like 24 existed (as uncompromisingly violent and risky as network TV can get), would Lost have been as smart and daring? (Say what you will about how it turned out, or your preferences, Lost was a great show. It's certainly a higher caliber than its clones that followed or Revolution, its current stepchild by some of the same fathers.)

Anyway, Revolution so far has not been terrible. It's not great, but it's not total shit either. It's better than Terra Nova, the show it reminds me of as much as Lost. It's still finding itself, and that's fine. It's doing well in the ratings and should have the time it needs to figure itself out and tell the story it's laying down.

This week, they dropped some bombshells. I guess the big one is that Elizabeth Mitchell is sticking around, not just in the flashbacks to the days after the Blackout, but that she's alive in the "present", estranged from her family, and mysteriously in some sort of cahoots with Monroe. I hope Revolution works out better for her than V, another example of an extremely stupid network sci-fi show.

I counted three big action scenes/swordfights this week, which is probably a lot. These characters barely have time to argue and give necessary exposition before they launch into another sword fight. Revolution seems to love to swash buckle.

They worked hard to give Charlie a bit more to do, make her more heroic and resourceful. She's pretty, sure, but I agree with uncle Miles, she's really annoying. But she's not useless by any means; she outsmarted that Militia dude who seems to have the hots for her, and she was the key player in their gambit to kill the militia members, acquire the sniper rifle and helicopter, and save the slave chain gang (who all kind of just vanished after Action Sequence #3). I also liked Charlie pointing out she was the only one concerned with freeing the slaves from the chain gang. 

Apparently, they've already killed or are about to kill the lady with the working computer in her attic. And they're laying down thick the whole idea of the Resistance "trying to restore the United States of America".

And Where Is The Batwoman?

Hello. I'm an adult male and I now read Batwoman.

What is Batwoman? No, seriously, what is that, you may ask? Obviously, we've all heard of Batman. We all love Batman. We've heard of Batgirl, of course. And Robin, naturally. And Nightwing too, probably even non-comics fans know of him. Batwoman? What the hell is the Batwoman? The publishing and character history of Batwoman is long and complicated. It's here if you want to read about it. But it doesn't really matter.

What does matter is what Batwoman is today, which is what I regard as perhaps the finest ongoing comic book series currently published by DC Comics, starring its most unique and interesting superhero. It's the best comic book you're not reading. It was the best comic book I wasn't reading until recently. But now that I've read as much Batwoman as I could get my hands on (the collected volumes of "Elegy" - with an introduction written by Rachel Maddow - and "Hydrology", the current run of Batwoman #1-12 in The New 52, and the two comic books numbered as "Batwoman #0", published in 2010 and 2012), I've come back from Gotham City heralding the news: This book is phenomenal. This character is phenomenal. Batwoman is phenomenal.

You should read it.

Batwoman is Katherine Rebecca Kane. The quote from the introductory blurb on the splash page of most of her adventures tells you all the basics you need to know:

Did you get all that? Have you ever heard of a superhero like that before? I hadn't. You read enough superhero comics, watch enough superhero movies, they all blend together. All origins sound alike. This one is different. Because this heroine, Kate Kane, is very different. She's flawed, headstrong, dedicated, dangerous, sexual, tough, and brave. She's an adult. She's very real.

All of the trappings of the superhero are there: tragic past, desire to seek justice, gaudy costume of red and black, the "colors of war" (iconography borrowed, initially without permission, from the Batman). On the surface, Kate Kane is like Bruce Wayne, an heiress to a fortune, posing as a dilettante, but is highly trained, armed with specialized bat-motif weaponry and vehicles. What separates Kate Kane from the Batman, and from the rest of the superhero pack, is who she really is. A lesbian? Sure, she's that and proud of it. That already makes her unique. She was a soldier, and in a way she still is.

But what sets Kate Kane, the Batwoman, apart is that she's a survivor. Terrible things happened to her, and continue to, but she endures. She's not a thrill-seeker or out for fame or fortune or even out for revenge. She's a crusader, a caped crusader in the best tradition. In Batman's tradition. In fact, in Batwoman #0 (2010), the Batman himself narrates his investigation of Batwoman. What's interesting is that Batman, evaluating her for his global crime-fighting network Batman Inc., regards her not as  a subordinate as he would one of his Robins or even Batgirl. Batman regarded Batwoman as a peer. He offered her a spot in Batman Inc. as a peer. Then she turned him down.

The Batwoman comic series is a joy to read. Written initially by Greg Rucka and now penned by J.H. Williams III and W. Haden Blackman, the series boasts evocative, eye-popping artwork primarily by J.H. Williams III that looks like nothing else in mainstream comics. Most issues contain multiple two-page layouts that read like some kind of twisted Game of Life game board involving the Batwoman facing down psychotics with hooks for hands, enormous mutated crocodile men, and even werewolves. Batwoman's rogues gallery is a gathering of ghastly grotesques. She faces down dead women reborn as wailing water ghosts, murderous shapeshifters, and her primary enemies, the Religion of Crime. Its leader is her thought-dead twin sister Beth Kane, reborn as Alice, her insane mirror image, her own personal Joker of sorts. Just about everything Kate Kane faces is deeply personal.

And boy, is Batwoman violent. Gotham City, already the least pleasant locale for a superhero to ply his trade, takes on even more shadowy, terrifying layers for Batwoman. She's stabbed repeatedly, thrown off of buildings, gassed, nearly drowned, and is a hair's breath of being killed several times. As well trained as she is (her origin story, depicted in "Batwoman #0" (2012), includes two years of absolutely brutal military training around the world that would make Bruce Wayne himself raise an eyebrow), and as well-equipped as she is (her arsenal is futuristic, with a bullet proof batsuit and other wonderful toys even Batman doesn't have), Batwoman still gets the hell kicked out of her. Her sometimes-sidekick Flamebird suffers one of the most horrific beatings ever when a villain slices her open with a hook from groin to sternum. Being Batwoman, living in her world, is not a lark. Reading Batwoman is not for the faint of heart.

To me, Batwoman is to the current DC Comics New 52 era what The Question, written by Denny O'Neill and drawn by Denys Cowan, was to the 1980s DC Comics. (I can think of no greater compliment to pay it.) Batwoman has that same gritty but honest, questing nature. It's mature comics, at times profound, eloquent, gorgeous, heartbreaking, uplifting.

Kate Kane is worth getting to know. Batwoman is worth reading.

If there's room for one more Bat in your comic book life, make it this one.

The Master

THE MASTER

** SPOILERS **

The Master is not really about Scientology. But then, McDonalds is not really about hamburgers. When I was eighteen, my friends and I wandered into a Scientology center. Mainly, we just answered a hundred or so questions and then were briefly interviewed. And then we left and that was that. The interview was nowhere near as intense as the processing Phillip Seymour Hoffman puts Joaquin Phoenix through in The Master, Paul Thomas Anderson's massive and unsettling epic about lost souls, mentors and pupils, sex, regrets, past lives, and not-Scientology. Set in the 1950s, Phoenix, a seething, self-destructive rattlesnake fueled by alcohol and anguish, is a naval WWII veteran whose primary talent is brewing moonshine out of anything he can get his hands on. This one trait, and a nagging feeling that they've met before, endears Phoenix to Hoffman when Phoenix stows away on his boat. Hoffman is "many things", a writer, philosopher (not a science fiction writer?), and a Master (addressed as such by his entourage of sycophantic followers) who wrote a book about his movement called The Cause. Some call it a cult and Hoffman a charlatan. Hoffman hates that; his cheery gregariousness turns on a dime and he explodes with rage when his beliefs are questioned. Perhaps the inability to control his own rages and impulses is what makes Phoenix such an attractive prospect for Hoffman to save, despite the protests of his wife Amy Adams, an even more severe believer and the main string puller behind Hoffman. But is Hoffman a liar who makes it all up? His underutilized son Jesse Plemons (Landry from Friday Night Lights!) thinks so. Joining The Cause and traveling with Hoffman's entourage, Phoenix remains a pathetic lightning rod of trouble. We learn about his past, dead father, mother in a loony bin, sex with an aunt, a failed romance with a 16 year old he still pines for, and yet all these parts of his troubled past seem a drop in the bucket to what really makes Phoenix such a sick person. Hoffman recognizing Phoenix is beyond saving and casting him aside ("if I ever see you again, we shall be enemies") is devastating. Phoenix, contorting his face to outwardly project the demons inside him, delivers an unbelievable performance. But what does it all mean? With Phoenix constantly exploding in destructive rages, even getting his pants and shirts repeatedly torn in the process, in a way, The Master is the strangest Incredible Hulk movie ever. The Cause sadly cannot cure Bruce Banner.

Yeah, I'm with Ebert on this.

Dredd 3D

DREDD 3D

** SPOILERS **

"I miss Rob Schneider," said no one watching Dredd 3D, a visceral, slam-bang-bang, balls-to-the-wall adaptation of the grim-faced hero of British 2000 A.D. comic books. Scars still remain from the 1995 Judge Dredd movie starring Sylvester Stallone and Rob Schneider, but Dredd 3D sears any reopened wounds until they're cauterized. Dredd 3D takes the gritty, real-world feel of Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Trilogy, melds it with the urban squalor and desperation of District 9, and utilizes eye-popping state of the art 3D to undeniably make its case that the real Judge Dredd has arrived and is here to stay.

Ah, Mega City One. It's a terrible place to visit and you wouldn't want to live there. In the future, America is a scorched Earth wasteland. 800 million people - more than twice the current population of the United States - are crammed into Mega City One, an urban sprawl stretching from Boston to Washington, DC. Everything is mega in Mega City One, especially crime. The only thing maintaining law and order are the Judges, armored police empowered to serve also as jury and executioner, if need be. (Need is constant.) The Judges fight a losing battle; they are hopelessly outnumbered and can only answer to 6% of crime reported. The most feared of the Judges is the legendary Dredd (a perfect Karl Urban), the scowl-iest of all Judges with the gravel-iest voice and the killing-est record. The comic booky Judge's uniform, blue and gold bulky armor with giant visor helmet, seems out of place in the decidedly real-world reimagining of Mega City One, but Dredd cuts an imposing silhouette and is less jarring a physical presence than Batman is in Nolan's realistic Gotham City.

After a thrilling car chase and introduction to Dredd's methodology, Dredd 3D becomes a spin on Training Day. In tried and true cop movie tradition, the veteran cop Dredd gets a new rookie partner, Cassandra Anderson (Olivia Thirlby), a twenty year old who barely passed the academy. Exposed to nuclear fallout as a child, Anderson is an orphan mutant psychic. ("DIE MUTIES" graffiti tag walls all over Mega City One. The future hates mutants as much as the present hates the X-Men.) A skeptical Dredd takes Anderson out into the field to evaluate her and, in a classic baptism of fire plot, the rookie gets more than she ever bargained for. Killing perps dead bang is hard, at first. Soon, Anderson gets the hang of it.

As Anderson, Thirlby all but steals the movie. Anderson "forgets" her Judge's helmet, because it can block her psychic abilities, but Thirlby sans helmet is a savvy move by the filmmakers. For one thing, Thirlby is a real beauty, every moment she's on screen contrasts the ugliness of the movie's violence. Thirlby is also the audience's window into the world of Mega City One, allowing us someone to relate to where Dredd himself must remain implacable. (Urban, to his credit, never removes his helmet.) Thirlby looks vulnerable and in over her head but she's no push over, no matter how many rape and murder fantasies about her she psychically reads from the minds of the criminals she encounters. Anderson is the only character in Dredd 3D who grows and changes, learns about herself, and makes the rational decision about her choice of career.

Called to a massive mega-structure called The Peach Trees to investigate a triple homicide, Dredd and Anderson encounter the drug dealing criminal enterprise of Ma-Ma (Lena Headey), a former hooker turned crime lord. Headey is like her Sarah Connor character crossed with Heath Ledger's Joker, scarred, wasted, and vicious. Ma-Ma is the primary manufacturer and supplier of Slo-Mo, a street narcotic that makes the human brain feel like time is passing at 1% of reality. Dredd and Anderson take custody of her top lieutenant, Wood Harris of The Wire, and it's great to see D'Angelo Barksdale get knocked around by Judge Dredd. Harris is awfully quiet and cooperative at first, until he targets Thirlby and makes his move to turn the tables and capture her. Dredd must then save his rookie charge, though it turns out Anderson doesn't need saving, and bring Ma-Ma to justice, while encountering corrupt Judges called in by Ma-Ma after her own legions of thugs get themselves shot full of holes by Dredd (and by herself via a multiple gatling gun assault that annihilates an entire level of the building in the movie's most explosive set piece).

The vast world of Mega City One is so enticing a setting that when Ma-Ma seals off the Peach Tree mega-structure, trapping Dredd and Anderson inside, the audience gets a similar disheartening feeling as our heroes when Dredd 3D's endless possibilities become enclosed in what turns into a standard video game plot: Dredd and Anderson must fight through levels to get to the Big Boss at the top. Dredd 3D meanders a bit in the middle as both sides feel like they're just killing time in between Boss Battles. Business picks up when Ma-Ma hires a cadre of corrupt Judges to hunt down Dredd, giving him more of a challenge, but just barely. When they finally confront each other, Dredd defenestrates Ma-Ma and fulfills the fantasies of most everyone in Westeros in what they wish they could do to Cercei Lannister.

Like Resident Evil: Retribution, Dredd 3D goes hog wild with stunning the audience with slo-mo visual gimmickery, but uses slo-mo and 3D to more innovative effect. Bullets giddily explode through human body parts like a savage ballet throughout Dredd 3D, and several death scenes of plummeting from thousands of feet take on an eerie beauty before the shameless splattering of viscera all over the screen. Dredd 3D seems like the inheritor of the ultra-violent tradition of 1980s sci-fi action movies like Robocop and Total Recall, but it still feels less dangerous and blood-lusting than the movies of yesteryear. Dredd and Anderson, whom the villains note plow through their forces "without a scratch" early on, do get wounded via gunfire, but the beatings they take still pale in comparison to how utterly fucked up John McClane in Die Hard, Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon, and even Robocop get at the hands of their enemies. Still, Dredd 3D delivers ample death and destruction where and when it counts. Judge Dredd will forever dispense brutal justice, Judge Anderson is just getting started, and the Dredd 3D franchise has a long way to go before it's too old for this shit.

Smallville: Season 11 #17 - "Detective"

ROLL CALL:

SUPERMAN! LOIS LANE! CHLOE SULLIVAN-QUEEN! THE GREEN ARROW! THE BATMAN! NIGHTWING! BRUNO MANHEIM!
With DC Universe Shout Outs To:
THE WONDER TWINS! THE TOYMAN! THE PRANKSTER!

This week's Smallville eases us down from the adrenaline-fueled fanboy geekout of last issue's Superman vs. Batman super fight, the best physical encounter between the World's Finest heroes since "The Dark Knight Returns". Solid character work via writer Bryan Q. Miller and artists Jamal Ingle and Marc Deering take the place of action and violence, unless you count plummeting a man from the sky so he'll talk violence. Which apparently Lois Lane does, but more on that in a bit.

Suffice to say, the current "Detective" arc is a Smallville high; Miller, Ingle and Deering are doing truly stellar work depicting Superman as the Clark Kent we know and love from the show fully evolved (and having fun) as the Man of Steel while also playing with the wonderful toys of Batman and Nightwing and yet making it all still feel like Smallville. Would that we could actually see this on television. Nevertheless, for my money, Smallville is the best, most Superman-y version of Superman currently published by DC Comics - better than The New 52's current version, or Earth 2, or Earth One. To me, this is Smallville and this is Superman. And their Batman is surprisingly great too!

Picking up moments from Superman whisking Bruno Manheim up, up and away last week, the Green Arrow is racing for his green Arrowcycle trying to catch up with Batman and Nightwing. The Caped Crusaders are getting away via the Batwing. The fact that Batman has "a stealth hovercraft" leaves Green Arrow feeling hopelessly outclassed in the rich man's gadgets department, as he laments to his wife Chloe Sullivan at Watchtower. This does beg the question why Green Arrow chose to take a motorcycle as his transport to an island prison and how he got on or off that island, but whatever.

In the skies above Metropolis, Batman is feeling awesome. He didn't get to interrogate Bruno Manheim about the whereabouts of Joe Chill like he wanted to, and he got his ass handed to him by Superman, but as he takes of his cowl (he wears a weird padded head dress and he paints his jaw black - gross), the Batman is all smiles. And it's creeping Nightwing out. Why's Batman so damn happy?

The banter between Batman and Nightwing is highly amusing. Batman isn't loathe to admit he got a good feeling from Superman. "I think he likes me." Aww, Batman made a Super Friend. More importantly, Superman exceeded Batman's personal evaluations as a good guy who he can trust. Batman doesn't tell Nightwing he totally blabbed away that Joe Chill killed his parents to a Man of Steel he just met and fought.

Speaking of blabbing, Superman flies Manheim into the stratosphere and he's downright loquacious. He's supposed to be interrogating Manheim about the whereabouts of Joe Chill and his connection to Batman and Intergang, but Superman can't help talking about himself. He mentions he was raised to see the goodness of humanity, and he even tells Manheim he has a better half. One who will "read him the riot act" for what he's about to do. Which is this:

And Superman didn't even have to yell "SWEAR TO ME!!" Well, Bruno's not made of stone and hs underpants can only take so much soiling. Manheim gives up the goods: Intergang came to visit him in Stryker's soon after Superman pushed Apokolips away from Earth. Intergang is concerned about "hero expansion", but Bruno's out of the crime business and directed them to a guy who could move weapons for them, that guy being our MacGuffan and Wayne shooter-of-er Joe Chill. Turns out Joe Chill decided to rat out Intergang and is now being held in federal custody. Manheim passed Superman's Super Hearing lie detector test and, being no dummy, Superman knew Batman placed a little Bat tracker listening device on him. The Batman got what he needed and zooms away.

Later, we check in with the Sullivan-Queens as Oliver needs his body and ego massaged after at best, fighting a nineteen year old girl to a draw. Although she could also be twenty. Chloe offering the Wonder Twins as back up doesn't help Oliver's pride much. Chloe has news on the mysterious emails Oliver receive and she's decoded and "he's not gonna like it". But whatever it is can wait a while. Meanwhile, Lois Lane has a blue tooth date with Superman atop the roof of the Daily Planet and they get each other up to speed on things. Lois needles Clark a bit about his "drop 'em from the sky" interrogation techniques but the meat of their talk is about who's manufacturing the weapons if the Toyman is sequestered in Stryker's. Turns out Oswald Loomis, the Prankster, tried to visit Winslow Schlott several times in prison, maybe to discuss which of them has the lamer name and is the real bottom of the Superman villain barrel.

Superman decides he needs to contact Batman as he hovers over a freighter called (wink wink) Leviathan. (Amazing in-joke. Where is Talia al Ghul in the Smallville universe?) Freshly showered and relaxed, Bruce Wayne and Barbara Gordon plot their next move. Bruce's people in Interpol checked in with their people in the FBI, but all Barbara can talk about is Superman. Then there's this fantastic exchange:

Leviathan's TroubAlert troubalerts Batman to some trouble and he decides it's time to put his working cowl back on, leaving us this week with a close up shot of Batman's eyes mirroring the panel of Superman's eyes last week. Superman is calling, and he's giving the signal.

Now there's something you don't see over Metropolis every day, or ever.

DC: The New 52 Zero Month - Week 3

Week three was not weak by any means.

Batwoman #0. Arguably supplants Wonder Woman #0 as best #0 of the week. The origin of Kate Kane as narrated by Kate Kane to her father. Other than she's a lesbian and a soldier, I knew next to nothing about Batwoman, but #0 brings you up to speed eloquently and efficiently with who Kate Kane is and how she came to be. You learn all about her family, her upbringing, the kidnapping that happened to her, her relationship with her father, and the intense training she went through to become Batwoman that kind of puts Bruce Wayne's to shame. So far Batwoman is the only #0 issue I've read that convinced me I should start reading her book from now on.

Also, it's been established now in The New 52 that neither Batgirl nor Batwoman asked Batman's permission before they started wearing Bat costumes and infringing on what's now his copyright (Batman Inc.). He must have a soft spot for chicks dressing like him.

Birds of Prey #0. How Black Canary met Starling and it's kind of clever - they both have bird codenames and they met when Starling was working security for The Penguin and Black Canary infiltrated Penguin's organization to capture a terrorist who was selling a Mutation Bomb. Then Batgirl crashes the Iceberg Lounge and they ended up working together. Thing is, this story is set "One year ago..." which means Batgirl had to have been just recovered from her paralysis and recently taken up the cowl again. Mostly, the story is Black Canary looking for redemption from the mysterious circumstances where she killed her husband and Team 7 was dissolved, but there's a big swerve at the end where it's revealed Starling is working under Amanda Waller's orders and has been the whole time to stay close to Black Canary, and Kurt Lance, Dinah's husband isn't dead but in some kind of bacta tank. The guest spot of The Penguin automatically scores points with me and I hope he returns since Oswald owes these Birds some payback for screwing him over. Wak wak wak.

Catwoman #0. Judd Winick's gone, Ann Nocenti is writing, and Selina Kyle has a new status quo. A Gotham orphan who has been a thief all her life, Selina Kyle has no idea who she is or even why she does what she does sometimes. Turns out years ago, she was manipulated into thinking she works for a special office of the Mayor that doesn't exist and when she discovered she might have another name that isn't Selina Kyle, they try to kill her - in a tribute to Batman Returns I rather loved, where Selina is thrown off a roof, survives a fall to her death and is surrounded by cats in an alley. Then she stitches the Catwoman costume for herself. She then learns all records of "Selina Kyle" were wiped clean and "Selina Kyle" doesn't exist. This all sets up her coming inclusion into the Justice League of America, which it seems like she'll join because Steve Trevor knows who she is. It's a very different spin on Catwoman and I'm not sure I like it, but it's better than Frank Miller's "she's a prostitute".

Justice League #0. It must be great to be Geoff Johns, Chief Creative Officer of DC. You can do anything you want! And apparently, no one will ever tell you "Don't!" or ask "Why?" Anyway, it's Justice League #0 and guess who isn't in Justice League #0? The Justice League! Any of 'em! No, this issue is all about Shazam, finally paying off months of back up stories about Billy Batson, a contemptible little shit who makes Jason Todd look like Theo Huxtable, but what do I know? Batson finally meets The Wizard Shazam and inherits the powers of Captain Shazam, becoming Captain Shazam, the World's Mightiest Mortal. We get some groundwork too about the new Shazam status quo, that Black Adam was the first champion of the Council of Wizards and killed them all except Shazam. The Wizard peered into Billy Batson's soul and saw what a nogoodnik he is, but on second glance, he saw Batson also does some selfless things for people, occasionally. Batson lays out that there are no PURE GOOD people in the world, and maybe not, but that doesn't mean Batson is worthy of the power of Captain Shazam. But then, the Wizard is dying and he has no more time for several months of back up stories about a better kid, so Billy Batson is who he's stuck with. Billy says the Magic Word and SHAZAM! He's now Captain Shazam. (Johns also established that Billy has to say "Shazam!" a certain way, thinking about goodness and family or something, so just saying the word willy-nilly won't bring the lightning.) Now Shazam, Batson finds his friend, foil a stick up, and earns a $20 reward. Hey, the World's Mightiest Mortal gots to get paid!

The back up story is about Pandora, who tries to shoot open the skull inside Pandora's box with a gun(!) and fails. The Wizard Shazam then shows up for the last time and apologizes to her for that whole condemning her to an eternity of hell thing. (He only waited many thousands of years but better late than never). Cut to HUB CITY! The cops are after a kidnapper, and finds him tied up with a note with a question mark. And we see The Question from behind!

Nightwing #0. The new origin of Richard "Dick" Grayson. It's a lot like the old one with some new changes: Dick's parents were killed (trapeze non-accident) on his mother's birthday after they were shaken down by Tony Zucco, a low level criminal (no longer "Boss" Zucco). Bruce Wayne gave Dick a home in the Wayne Care Center instead of making him his ward and Dick got a "part time job" at Wayne Manor to explain his detective and ninja training. Turns out Dick would sneak out at night looking for Zucco and would fight crime with Batman. Batman finally just brought him to the cave and started training him. Was this story written before Tom DeFalco and Kyle Higgins saw The Dark Knight Rises? Because there's a nod to John Blake in there - Dick Grayson figured out Bruce Wayne was Batman by reading his body language. In a tangle with Lady Shiva, Dick finally donned a prototype Robin costume ("Robin" was his mom's nickname for him, sort of a nod to Batman Forever.) The first Robin suit is armor; short pants and bare legs officially never happened in The New 52. The issue is good, highlighting the differences and similarities between Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, and how each dealt with the impact of their parents' murders.

Red Hood and the Outlaws #0. Shut the door, have a seat. This one is pretty major. Most of the issue is narrated by Jason Todd, narrating his origin, starting with his hard luck life. Ever see The Wire? His life was like that, only everyone is white. Horrible drug dealer father, drug addict mother, a life of crime, dad died in prison, mom OD'd. Jason ended up in the car of Dr. Leslie Thompkins and met Batman after stealing prescription drugs from her (no swiping tires off the Batmobile). In the biggest "HUH?" moment, somehow Batman decides to let Jason live in Wayne Manor (contrast to Dick Grayson, who lived in Wayne Care Center), followed by the next biggest "HUH?" when Bruce Wayne just decides to blab out he's Batman. I guess he just wanted another Robin that badly. Then we move into the broad strokes of A Death in the Family and Jason is murdered by The Joker, and resurrected in the Lazarus Pit. Okay. Ready for the swerve? The Joker takes over the story and we learn every terrible thing that happened to Jason was orchestrated by Joker. So he could create his very own Robin! And then murder that Robin. The biggest question I had regarding Joker and Jason Todd was whether Joker ever knew the name of the Robin he murdered. Well, shit. He did, and moreso.

Supergirl #0. Kara Zor-El's final days on Krypton before it goes kablooey is as much Zor-El's story. Zor-El, who helped create the villainous World Killers who fought Supergirl in the first year of the series (culminating in #7, which was the best Super Family comic of the year), experimented on Kara. This explains some of the extra abilities Supergirl has been manifesting on Earth. We see Kara visit Jor-El and hold baby Kal, setting up the grudge between her father and her uncle. In the end, Zor-El gives Kara her Supergirl suit and drugs her into the rocket that will save her life, despite her mother Alura trying to stop him. The weird thing was Superboy showing up - I don't read Superboy so I don't know what that's about despite knowing Superboy is a clone and clones are banned on Krypton. Anyway, this was pretty good. It totally beats the Helen Slater movie, that's for sure.

Wonder Woman #0. Quite awesome. Cliff Chiang's art is superb and the issue feels like a Tintin adventure starring young Wonder Woman. Set in Princess Diana's tween years, she deals with the prejudice of the Amazons against her birth (she still has the "made of clay" origin - this is years before the current reveal that she is Zeus' daughter). She meets War (Ares), who is amusingly the spitting image of writer Brian Azzarello. War personally trains Diana in combat and war and then sends her to take on the Minotaur. There's a surprisingly sweet mentor-student relationship between War and Diana, despite his bluster and random temper flare ups. You know, they may be dating now, but the evidence in their respective books shows Wonder Woman is way too good for Superman. 

Hick

HICK

** SPOILERS **

As a foul-mouthed, homicidal eleven year old superhero in Kick-Ass and a manipulative, homicidal vampire in Let Me In, young Chloe Grace Moretz has plenty creeped out audiences in her career already. In the borderline intolerable Hick, it's her turn to be creeped out, along with the audience. Vaguely set in the early 80s, Moretz, a newly minted teenager, decides to run away from her alcoholic father (Anson Mount) before she turns into a carbon copy of her desperate, whoring mother (Juilette Lewis). Effervescently blonde and all long, gangly limbs, Moretz is bright, well-versed in movie dialogue, and seems to understand her sudden impulse to go Las Vegas could have dire consequences. (She writes down a Pros and Cons list before departing and the sole Con is appropriately "Might Die".) She heads off into the backwoods of Nebraska and wouldn't you know it, the first pick up truck she hitchhikes into launches her into the messed-up, interconnected lives of Eddie Redmayne, a psycho cowpoke with a gimp, and Blake Lively, a coke-snorting grifter. Moretz basically meets three people and they all know each other, with predictable sad sack back stories. Riding shotgun along with Redmayne or Lively, Moretz gets all manner of redneck stereotype coming of age life experiences like robbing a convenience store, getting sold as payment in a pool hustlin' scheme gone awry, nearly getting raped in a ladies' room, and getting tied up and held prisoner in a motel cabin. Hick repeatedly asks Moretz to quote dialogue from movies like Sunset Boulevard, Star Wars, Deliverance, and Taxi Driver to deleterious effect, not knowing well enough to veer away from directly invoking superior movies. At her birthday party, Moretz receives a Smith and Wesson Colt .45 as a present. Screenwriting 101 dictates if you show a gun in the first act, it has to go off in the third. No points for guessing who gets shot and when. That's another thing about Hick - everywhere Moretz went, dead bodies popped up. She's linked to, an accomplice in, or the direct cause of four deaths - three of which are murders - in Hick, none of which are dealt with any consequence. The sole bright spots of Hick are Moretz herself, who emerges from this countrified boondoggle relatively unscathed, and Alec Baldwin, as the sole kindly adult in the movie, and a reminder that we can see him and Moretz occasionally clash wits in much more entertaining style in 30 Rock.