SUPERMAN! LOIS LANE! TESS MERCER! THE GREEN ARROW! CHLOE SULLIVAN!
Special DC Universe Guest Stars:
EMIL HAMILTON!AMOS FORTUNE!
With Special Mentions of:ZATANNA!
BEPPO THE SUPER-MONKEY?
The bachelor/bachelorette parties of soon-to-be newlyweds Clark Kent and Lois Lane gave Smallville a prime excuse to crib from The Hangover this week. The result was an utterly bizarre What The Hell Did I Just Watch? episode peppered with a few comedic moments and a big surprise at the end.
I barely understood the bulk of the plot. The Smallville crew were hungover from a zany night caused by Zatanna's enchanted champagne (unfortunately, no Zatanna appearance as Serinda Swan is off making Breakout Kings) and ended up in a zany caper at Amos Fortune's casino involving Lois' missing engagement ring, an armored car that ended up at the Kent Barn, Emil Hamilton dressed as Elvis singing (and banging!) Tess, Chloe and Clark thinking they got married, and Oliver Queen in drag as a showgirl. (Amos Fortune didn't realize he was a man and hit on him.) There was also a monkey.
However, interspersed in that nonsense was a hilarious gag of hungover Clark Superspeeding right into a wall. The scene towards the end of everyone watching Emil's video of the drunken night in question was also pretty funny, and also borrowed from the ending of The Hangover when they all watched the pics taken of their forgotten, drugged out night in Vegas. The moments between Oliver and Lois where Lois fretted about losing her engagement ring and they commiserated about the pressures of living up to Clark's perfection were well done. I also enjoyed the homage to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where Lois was crawling on the floor chasing after her ring in the middle of a brawl in the Fortune showroom.
The romantic coupling between Tess and Emil Hamilton came out of nowhere, but the video doesn't lie: Emil scored! He got right in there. High five to Emil! He got his ass kicked and tortured during the episode, but well done, my man! Amos Fortune was bizarre: He looked like an evil doppelganger of Terry O'Quinn from Lost. He wasn't an evil scientist but an evil casino owner. And did he really not know that showgirl was Oliver Queen, a man? Or did he? Weird. So weird. Also, what the hell was with the monkey?
Even though, as Clark said, she just got back, Chloe is gone once more, perhaps permanently. Allison Mack may not be returning for the rest of the season, though a two hour series finale without Chloe seems like a strange proposition. Regardless, Chloe and Clark, the last Smallville Originals standing, had a sweet, sunlit farewell scene in the Kent Barn where Chloe announced she has taken a job as a reporter in Star City and will also spend her time mentoring other superheroes. Because, in her few months away with the Suicide Squad, she's met others like Clark. Including "a billionaire with high tech toys" and "a wondrous woman who'll throw you for a loop." Whaa-?!
Finally, the big surprise: Chloe and Clark didn't get married - Chloe and Oliver did. They're actually married. And apparently, they're both off to Star City together as man and wife. Wait, so Green Arrow is leaving the show too? Justin Hartley is gone too?! How does Smallville work without Green Arrow? (And how weird is it that the thought of Smallville, a show about young Superman, without Green Arrow seems unfathomable?) He can't be gone. Oliver still has that Omega symbol on his skull, even though he showed absolutely no effects of it this week.
I'm so confused. I feel like I also drank enchanted Zatanna booze. Did any of that really happen?